


Day Break

by RedAlgaeBloom



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Arranged Marriage AU, Inucest, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-Anime, in that Sesshomaru is a trans man, mentioned child marriage though nothing underage happens or is hinted at in this story, non-explicit breast-feeding, non-explicit child birth, potential future inukag if you wish to read it as such
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2020-10-14 01:27:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20592389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedAlgaeBloom/pseuds/RedAlgaeBloom
Summary: There are obligations that Sesshomaru holds as the future Lord of the West that he simply can't avoid. He had hoped to put certain ones off for a little longer though but Inuyasha’s budding romantic relationships are forcing him to address the ones he is not quite ready to face.





	1. A Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't much of a romantic story, its more a story of learning to communicate and compromise in difficult and unwanted situations so please keep that in mind!
> 
> If you would like to keep track of my WIP or get news about story updates I have both a twitter and a tumblr under that same name as here!

### CHAPTER 1: A Wedding

Sesshomaru landed in the clearing and glanced around at the group expectantly. He sniffed subtilly, trying to pinpoint Inuyasha’s location but the whole group and camp smelled so heavily of him that it was impossible to tell without making a fool of himself as he wandered about. Instead he slowly approached and watched as the group tensed. Inuyasha was not around the fire nor was he in easy line of sight, something that was unsurprising to Sesshomaru given the night, but an annoyance all the same. 

“Where is Inuyasha.” He demanded, voice even and cool, failing to convey the agitation that sizzled just under his skin. It was the monk who spoke up, only after sharing a glance with his companions and Sesshomaru could already tell that he intended to lie.

“He is out hunting my Lord, perhaps we-“

Sesshomaru’s whip shot out, scorching the ground in front of him silencing whatever else he was about to say.

“Lie to me again monk and I will sever your head from your body.” 

“I’m up here you bastard.” A familiar voice called to him then, and he turned his gaze past the fire and upward, high into the canopy of trees to see a splotch of red among the leaves. “You have some nerve showing up here tonight. What the hell-Whow!” Inuyasha exclaimed as Sesshomaru leapt and landed gracefully on the branch before him. A fully human Inuyasha rested, pressed against the tree trunk and obviously doing his best to hide. Below him he could hear cursing as the camp prepared itself for a potential battle, a battle he was greatly tempted to give them, if only to give an outlet to his annoyance. 

“Little brother, your human form is as disgusting as ever.” He commented, looking down at the creature in front of him. At least on normal nights Inuyasha had their father’s blood running through him: both a blessing and a curse in Sesshomaru’s mind, after all it was that blood that put them in their current situation. But tonight was the one night even that abandoned him leaving this _ thing _ in its place. Nothing to it but the human wench that his father had died for. He wondered every time he saw Inuyasha like this if that woman had looked like him on this night. He had never met the human, had refused to the one time his father had asked, and now it was a curiosity he knew he would never have answered. 

“You have a reason for being here or are you just here to insult me?” His brother tried to growl in annoyance, his rounder face scrunching up in distaste and Sesshomaru’s own face twitched, holding back the need to growl back in return at the terrible attempt the human had made. It was best to get to the point so he wouldn’t have to suffer this creatures presence or voice any longer than necessary. 

“We have been summoned.” He said as he tossed a bundle of clothes he had been carrying with him. His voice conveying his disgust at the word ‘summoned’. “The prince of the badger clan is marrying and given his status as one of the west’s vassals we are expected to be in attendance.”

Inuyasha cursed, catching the bundle before it could fall from the tree and more accurately converting Sesshomaru’s own feelings about the situation. Below them the humans shuffled, obviously trying to figure out what was happening. One called up sounding worried and Sesshomaru could hear the sound of a bowstring being pulled a little tighter.

“It’s fine Kagome. I’ve got it handled alright?” Inuyasha called down and Sesshomaru waited in silence for Inuyasha’s reply.

“I take it you already tried rejecting the invitation?” He asked, Sesshomaru stayed silent, it wasn’t a question that required an answer. “Right.” Inuyasha mumbled into the silence before shifting on the bench he was on. “And when exactly is this wedding”

“Tomorrow.” Sesshomaru replied simply, before answering Inuyasha’s next question before he could ask it “the counsel seemed to be under the impression that, if we were told too soon, we would find more important places to be.”

“Ya, no shit,” he grumbled “Damn it.” Sesshomaru watched as Inuyasha leaned forward on the branch and curled up around their father’s sword slightly. “Can’t you go for the two of us?”

“You know I cannot.”

“More like won’t, if you have to suffer so do I right?”

“I will be back at sunrise to collect you. We will head out then.” He told him instead of answering and turned, jumping from the branch into the middle of the group of humans which parted easily as he made his way through. “What was that about?” He could hear one ask as he went. If there was an answer he didn’t bother to listen for it.

———-

As the future Lord of the West, Sesshomaru had certain obligations that could not be overlooked unless there were more important obligations already in existence. While dealing with Naraku was personally high on Sesshomaru’s lists of obligations and attending weddings very _ low _ the counsel and current Lady of the West did not see it like that, which was what left Sesshomaru, and by extension Inuyasha, in their current situation. Sesshomaru had been summoned urgently to the Western Palace and while Sesshomaru knew it was likely a trap and not a true emergency he had an obligation to at least check in on the summons. He had left Rin with Jaken and Ah-Un and taken to the skies intending to simply check in and see just how much his mother was playing with him. 

As always the answer was: a lot. 

Clothing had already been prepared for them when he had arrived and Sesshomaru doesn’t mask his disgust at the intricate kimonos and additional layers he had been presented with. “Mother-“ he had growled in annoyance but the lady of the west had simply unfolded her fan and huffed out a sigh. “Really Sesshomaru It’s only for a day,”

“I refuse.” He said outright but knew there was no fighting it. He would simply have to put up with it and hope that etiquette would keep any from commenting. HE was to represent him mother at the event after all and few would dare to cross him on normal occasions. Inuyasha’s own formal attire had been similarly packed for him and given to Sesshomaru with the explicit instructions that both were to present a united front. His mother and the counsel had done much to hide the strife between the two and, as much as Sesshomaru hated it, he knew the counsel was right to do so. Outside of the court and his obligations he was free to do as he pleased and treat Inuyasha as he pleased, but showing a hatred for him in front of other noble houses could lead to unwanted advances at best and war at worst. He had no qualms about a war, enjoyed the few he had participated in, but the battle with the cat demons of the north was still fresh in his mind and he knew that it was not _ him _ that he needed to fear war for. Besides, he was still dealing with Naraku. Now was not the time to plant seeds of doubt about the strength of the west.

So, with annoyance in every step, he had turned from the Western Palace in search for his brother. 

\-------------

He found himself back at his brothers camp in the somber light of morning to find anger and frustration permeating the air. Most of it seemed to come from the Miko and Inuyasha himself who was now back to his usual appearance. Sesshomaru ignored the rest of the group who were obviously trying to get the pair to calm down as he approached his brother. He wondered vaguely at his brothers relation with the Miko, it seemed to fluctuate so heavily between anger and protection that Sesshomaru could not get a true read on it. Were they lovers? Companions? Were they simply together for a united cause? It worried him slightly but he pushed it away. He did not have time for such contemplation. 

“We leave now.” He ordered blandly, forcing Inuyasha to acknowledge him, and turned, expecting him to follow. The morning must have been significantly terrible for Inuyasha as he could only just make out angry mumbling from his brother drowned out by the Miko demanding to know what was happening and where he was going. Inuyasha yelled something back to her, reassurance mixed with a demand to shut up, before Sesshomaru heard his footsteps following after him. Inuyasha didn’t try and close the distance that has appeared between them and Sesshomaru doesn’t slow his stride. He did not want to walk side-by-side with his brother and his brother obviously felt similarly as they simply made their way deeper and deeper into the woods.

The badger tribe had their palace underground and so they took a moment above to change. Using the nearest stream to clean off and, using the supplies that had been packed for them, they made themselves look like the royalty they are meant to be. Inuyasha looked annoyed at his formal attire as they made their way through the barrier hiding the entrance to the badger clans palace and Sesshomaru was unable to keep a small comment to himself. “Be thankful you are not being forced to dress as I.” He said, raising an arm slightly to show off the number of layers he was being forced to wear, none of which were something he would have chosen for himself. It was a peace offering, one that Inuyasha took with a snort and a small laugh. They both had to get through this event and they both had to play nice, so it was in both of their best interests to turn their frustrations towards the person who truly deserved it: Sesshomaru’s mother. 

“Ya. Your mom’s a bitch.” Inuyasha said as he kept messing with his own formal attire, his steps echoing through the long cave passage.

Sesshomaru couldn’t agree more.

\---------------

The wedding celebration went off without a hitch with the exception of the Western Palaces council members who used the opportunity to corner Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, demanding to know about the goings on of their lives, ambitions, and when they could expect heirs to be born. Sesshomaru ignored most of it, choosing to answer with biting remarks hidden within pleasantry. Inuyasha was far more blunt in his answers, glaring at them and telling them that if they want pups they can either have them themselves or convince the Lady of the West to have more of her own: A conversation that all know was likely to end with heads rolling. 

The celebrations weren’t completed until late in the night, nearly early morning, though underground such things were hard to tell. Once the sake had ran dry Sesshomaru deemed it an acceptable time to excuse himself and Inuyasha was quick to follow his example. They were escorted to the prepared room they would be sharing which neither were surprised by. Sesshomaru walked around the room, taking note of defensible positions, as Inuyasha slumped to the mat on the floor. “I hate this shit. Couldn’t you have told them I was still trapped to a tree?” He grumbled as Sesshomaru moved to sit against one of the sturdier walls, wondering if he should bother with removing any of the layers of his junihitoe.

“If you had not started making such waves after having been freed from said tree then yes. I would have gladly continued to let them believe you were trapped.”

That was met with more grumbling from Inuyasha as he flopped over onto his side, looking over at where Sesshomaru had made himself comfortable. 

“They are really getting on you about the kid thing ha?”

“I am nearing my five hundredeth year of life, it is to be expected.”

“Your mom didn’t have you until she was two-thousand.” 

“A fact I have reminded the counsel many times, though they continue to remind me that she tried for one thousand years before conceiving me.” Inuyasha seemed to quiet then for a very long time, long enough that Sesshomaru would have thought him asleep if not for the rate of his breathing. Sesshomaru looked away after a while before closing his own eyes and leaning back, trying to make himself comfortable within the earthen palace.

“Do you want them?” Inuyasha finally asked, his voice oddly soft, “I know you’ve taken to keeping that human girl around but, you know, do you want some of your own?”

Sesshomaru was silent for a long time, not because he didn’t know the answer, but because he wasn’t sure he wanted Inuyasha to know it. Still, the council had been becoming far more insistent, especially those who were aware of his brother’s current fight for vengeance. They were worried he would be dead soon, or worse: the his first born wouldn’t be with Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru had to agree with them. He was far less worried about his brother’s potential death and far more worried about his brother’s relationship with the Miko that kept his company. Sesshomaru could not help but take notice of it and it brought previously unknown anxieties bubbling to the surface. 

“Yes.” He finally gave in, his voice soft, barely above a whisper. Inuyasha would need to know eventually and the truth was that Sesshomaru had always wanted pups. He wanted to help both his mothers and father’s clans to survive, wanted someone to pass their knowledge and traditions to. He had not had the best relationship with his mother, but he had enjoyed his childhood learning under his father before he had realized exactly how his father felt towards him. He wanted to give that early childhood to a child of his own, and unlike his father he wouldn’t treat his pup as a simple obligation. 

Inuyasha’s relationships were also forcing his hand. He didn’t have time just yet to really contemplate or worry about the complex problem of Inuyasha, his human woman, or the children he owed Sesshomaru but he knew he would have to face it soon. Likely after Naraku was defeated if Inuyasha and the Miko both lived that long. Inuyasha needed to know that Sesshomaru intended to have children, he doubted it would change anything in how Inuyasha acted or approached his Miko, but he needed to know.

“Yes.” He wasn’t one to repeat himself but this was important and he needed to make sure Inuyasha heard.

He could tell Inuyasha wished to ask him more, likely the same question that Sesshomaru had struggled with answering for so long. ‘Do you want them to be mine?’ hung heavy in the air between them, the answer to which was ‘no, but we have no choice. Not if I want them recognized. Not if I want them to live without the mockery of what we are.’

He watched as Inuyasha glanced away again and eventually he heard him fall into a light slumber. He knew this conversation wasn’t over but he was also glad to not speak of it again that night.

————- 

When he had found out he was to marry his bastard half-brother his reaction had been anger greater than he had ever felt baring his own father’s death. He had lashed out, harming many within the palace before his own mother had been forced to subdue him. Even when he had regained his own mind his anger had not dissipated and she sent him off to kill to his heart's content and settle down. He had killed for years and probably could have kept doing so but he was finally forced to return home when the subject could not be put off any longer. 

They explained things to him again, explained why this was happening. Why he was being forced into this, and he felt his anger starting to boil up once more, this time at the _ logic _ of it. Logic that he felt was pointless as it hinged on one thing that was _ not _ fact at all: it all hinged on the idea that Sesshomaru actually _ cared _ for the fate of his father’s illbegot second son.

“This marriage is to ensure his safety,” some in counsel had said, “Without it he would not be able to gain his inheritance” others had gone on, “The titles that would rightfully be his would be lost.” Again and again they droned on, acting as if the disgusting creature that was the cause of his father’s death had _ any _ right to anything his father had won. Had any right to inheritance that _ should have been his. _ The debate forced him again to face the fact that _ Inuyasha, _ his father’s child born from _ love _and not obligation had been his father’s favored child even before the half-breed had been born. 

Finally Sesshomaru had had enough and he spoke up: “I care not for that _ creature _ ,” he told those assembled, watching some flinch, some deflate, and others smirk. Those loyal to his father were the ones avidly fighting for this marriage, while those who had despised him smirked. It was those that were indifferent that Sesshomaru found his true interest lied in. “Tell me.” He said, directing his question at them “tell me why I should let you force this upon me when I would like nothing more then to see my father’s second son _ dead.” _

His mother had smirked sharply at that, a fan out to cover it though Sesshomaru knew it was there. In the end it was not Sesshomaru who would make the final call regarding this topic, it was _ her _ who chose. He was not yet Lord of the West and as such choices regarding their family line still fell completely to his mother: the Lady of the West. He could attempt to sway things in his favor though, could attempt to get her to agree with _ him _ and not the counsel but knowing his mother it would be a hard fought battle.

“My Prince...” one counsel member spoke up and trailed off for a moment, obviously catching himself in a near blunder as Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed on him. “While what others say is true: that it is common practice for bastard children to be married into the family they are bastards to in order to ensure they lives and safety, they are typically not married to someone so...high ranking nor have there been any instances of doing such with a half-breed. Yet as you are the last of your late father’s line there is no one else that could possibly take this burden.”

“That still does not explain why I should not simply leave him to die.” He reminded the other to which another counsel member spoke up. 

“I hate to say it, my Lord, but to do so would shine poorly on your late father’s legacy and call your own blood into question. While the power in your mother's line is of no question-“ And here the counselor bowed lightly to his mother “your father made a title for himself and proved himself through power and military might alone. Your father’s Ill choice to take on a human wife at the end of his life did much to sully not only his two-thousand years of service, but to call into question the strength of his blood, the very blood that runs through your own veins.”

“That is just more the reason for her to reject the Hanyou!” Another counsel member jumped in, glaring at the one who had spoken. “Rejecting that monstrosity would be a show of rejecting the late generals faults and that she, excise me, he does not suffer from the same illness!”

“I must disagree!” One of his late father’s supporters spoke up, the small voice calling loudly as it could from atop the table “a rejection would show that he has no respect for his father’s blood! And let us not forget that this decision is our Lady’s final choice, no offense to my Lord, but should our Lady reject the Hanyou it would look far worse the Lord Sesshomaru doing so!”

“I must agree with Myoga” a soft voice spoke up, light as the wind, “I’m sorry to say my Lord but because the final choice is your Lady mothers it is _ she _ who must worry about how this choice would affect your reputation.” The counselor turned her attention to his mother, giving her a slight bow. “Should you choose to reject this final will of Toga it would show you held little respect for your late generals wishes and little respect for his blood. And while none would question young Sesshomaru’s eventual claim to your throne, it could certainly breed strife and war if others were to believe half his blood to be weak. Yet taking on the Hanyou possess its own risks:” The counselor went on “It could lead to your subjects considering _ you _ weak, perhaps even that Toga managed to taint you and the whole of the west with his sensibilities. It would also introduce human blood into the royal line which would no doubt lead to its own mess of problems. I...wish I could provide you with a definitive answer My Lady but I’m afraid that, like with most things, there isn’t one.”

“It is possible that the Hanyou might prove himself yet.” An old voice spoke up, cracking slightly with age, “most here know of and had seen Toga’s strength. Given time the child, Inuyasha, might prove himself worthy of his father’s blood.”

There were murmurs from around the table of both agreement and doubt until finally he heard his mothers fan close with a snap. she spoke up, voice clear and commanding within the room “Very well. I believe I have heard enough. You are all dismissed. Sesshomaru, with me.” She ordered and the counselors stood as one, bowing to her before leaving.

———-

In the end his mother had chosen to go along with the marriage, somehow Sesshomaru knew she would. His mother, a very powerful demon in her own right, had ruled the western throne for thousands of years and was expected to rule it for thousands more. For her the ‘threat’ of one of Sesshomaru’s children ever, truly, ascending to the throne was a far off worry while preserving the honor within her family and Sesshomaru’s name was a far more pressing matter. 

Or so she told Sesshomaru, though the smile upon her face as she said it told Sesshomaru that the true reason his mother had chosen to take this path was because she thought it would be the most _ entertaining. _

\----------

The marriage had been an extravagant affair, a show of wealth before anything else, and Sesshomaru forced himself through every excruciating moment, keeping his eyes from bleeding red through pure force of will. Inuyasha had been too young to truly understand what was going on, barely one-hundred by then, His mother had pulled the creature from the wilderness that he had been living in to be polished up until it seemed as if he had never known a life outside of the castle grounds. An idiotic ruse in Sesshomaru’s opinion but he could have no say in any of this. He was simply expecting to sit quietly and not make a fuss. Inuyasha had been instructed to do the same and Sesshomaru _ almost _felt bad as it became obvious that Inuyasha’s own silence and stillness was driven by paralyzing fear and perhaps some of his mothers magics. 

He was thankful once the night was over and even more thankful that Inuyasha was too young for _ other _wedding traditions to be deemed necessary. It meant that, once the wedding feast had been completed Sesshomaru was allowed to retire to his own bedroom while Inuyasha was taken to another on the other side on the mansion so far away that Sesshomaru could not even smell him.

Sesshomaru had left the next morning as soon as the sun had risen and had not looked back. He would not stay and play along with his farce of a marriage nor would he suffer through the presence of his half-brother and those who had forced this fate upon him. It wasn’t until much later that he found out Inuyasha had been kicked out of the palace himself soon after Sesshomaru had left. He wondered if his leaving had prompted it but he simply did not care, Inuyasha had been pulled from the wilderness for the wedding and it was appropriate that he be returned to it now that it was done. As for Sesshomaru himself he turned his attention once more to increasing his strength, fulling intending to surpass his late father. 

Sesshomaru had not returned and would not return to the palace for another fifty years and only then to inform his mother for Inuyasha’s fate: trapped to a tree with no way of freeing him. It was certainly too bad that the last part had not proven to be as true as Sesshomaru had hoped. 

————

Sesshomaru dropped Inuyasha off near his friends and turned to leave. He didn’t have anything to say, he never did after these small moments of truce between them were over, but it seemed the same wasn’t true for Inuyasha.

“Hey” he called after him, and Sesshomaru paused, “look just...let me know when okay? I might not like it much either but...if you want to try for kids, I'm not going to be a jerk about it and tell you no. I know I’ve got an obligation to you so just...tell me when.”

Sesshomaru didn’t reply, in truth he didn’t know what to say, and so he left.


	2. Obligations

### CHAPTER 2: Obligations

Inuyasha knew that neither him nor Sesshomaru were happy within their arranged marriage. He figured for Sesshomaru it was because he saw Inuyasha as someone far below him, but for Inuyasha their marriage meant a long list of obligations without any gains. He was left to fend for himself and fight for his life until he was ‘needed’ and then suddenly he was whisked away and dressed in fine silks and ordered to pretend like nothing was wrong and act like his life had always been like that. It pissed him off. The first few times it had happened he had been too overcome by fear at the number of demons surrounding him to do anything. Once he had gotten through that he had tried to rebel and ended up making enough of a mess that he had nearly started a fucking war and ended up having to fight off more assassination attempts then he liked to count. Eventually he had learned to just grit his teeth, deal with it, and to find more important _ other _places to be when possible. Thankful Sesshomaru more often than not took care of that aspect of this mess for him which he was reluctantly thankful for. It turned out having an ice cold bastard for a ‘spouse’ had some perks. 

He knew that his position was supposed to award him certain benefits though, almost none of which he actually ever saw. On paper he could technically show up to the western palace and demand he be treated as the future “Master of the West" that he was but every time he had gone there he had left with the sense that, should he ever actually try and return when he wasn’t required he was likely to be met with a swift knife in the back and a poisoned meal. He also knew he technically had access to the palace treasury and funds, something that he had been oh so tempted to dip into on nights when he had been starving, but somehow the thought of doing so made it feel like he was actually accepting and acknowledging his marriage, something he refused to do. Add that to the fact that you actually had to _ fly _ to get to the western palace since the damn thing was in the sky, well, it became pretty obvious that he wasn’t welcome.

There _ were _ some perks that came with his ‘title’ that he couldn’t reject though: the first being Myoga who, as annoying as the flea was, was helpful on some occasions. It also meant he got something of an education - again from Myoga - and it also, apparently, meant that he got to keep Tessaiga no matter how pissed off Sesshomaru got about the whole thing. Another perk was that, in general, powerful demons couldn’t lay a finger on him without potentially risking war. Not that Inuyasha thought Sesshomaru would _ actually _go to war over him but the threat was there and, well, if Sesshomaru ever decided to expand the western territories then going after someone for attacking his spouse was one way to do it. Of course weak demons and those without land didn’t heed the warnings but Inuyasha was capable of dealing with those...mostly.

In truth he hadn’t really thought about his marriage to Sesshomaru in a long time. Once Sesshomaru had gotten old enough to tell his mother ‘no’ and got proficient in avoiding obligations Inuyasha had hardly been bothered about his place in the west. The number of events he was required to attend dwindled until they were almost non-existent bar the once yearly celebration of the moon. He had only really started to think about it again when he learned about the shikon jewel and was presented with the possibility of becoming a full demon. Would he be able to end his marriage then? He wasn’t sure, after all he would still be a ‘bastard’ child. But even if he couldn’t end his marriage surely his titles and obligations would be more bearable as a full demon? Maybe the court would accept him more like that?

And then Kikyo has presented him with another possibility: An out from demon life altogether. If he became human, fully human, then they would have no choice but to end his and Sesshomaru’s marriage. He would no longer have any of his father’s blood, he would have no connection to Sesshomaru. Ya he would lose his inheritance, which he had assumed at that point to simply been the clothes upon his back, but he would gain Kikyo and a life with someone he truly loved and wanted to be with. It had seemed perfect. If Naraku hadn’t gotten involved it would have been.

He hadn’t had time to think about his marriage after that, being pinned to a tree didn’t really leave much room to think. Then he had had to suddenly deal with the Shikon jewel in shatters, a half-demon trying to destroy them all, gaining his _ actual _ inheritance, and Sesshomaru trying to _ kill _ him for it. So ya, thoughts of his marriage to the bastard had kind of fallen to the way-side of just trying to stay alive.

But now...now he was thinking about it again and it was all that damn weddings fault. Or, more specifically, his conversation with Sesshomaru that night.

He sat staring at the fire as his friends slept, his own sleep refusing to come as his mind swirled. Kagome had asked non-stop questions as soon as he had gotten back to the camp and his vague answers had left both her and him in a foul mood. He knew him wandering off with Sesshomaru and vanishing for a whole day had looked odd but some aspects of his life were none of her business. Besides, it wasn’t like him and Sesshomaru hadn’t been getting along a little better lately. They _ had _ actually managed to talk after Sesshomaru had saved her from being poisoned. But even with that excuse she hasn’t been happy and he could see by the look on Sango and Miroku’s face that they hadn’t been thrilled with it either. He hadn’t given in though, not even when he had been ‘sat’. There were some parts of his life that he just wanted to ignore and having his friends know about it wouldn’t help with that.

But right now he couldn’t ignore it. Sesshomaru wanted kids. Why hadn’t he ever even thought about that fact before? Sure Myoga had kind of mentioned the need for heirs in passing but there had always been a distance there between the idea of kids and himself but now ...Now Sesshomaru wanted kids and Inuyasha didn’t know how to take that. Did Sesshomaru want kids because he _ actually _ wanted kids? Or was it because they were both obligated to have them? Did Sesshomaru want multiple kids? Did he _ like _ being a parent? Was that human kid that followed him practice for when he eventually had one of his own?

Had he already picked someone to have kids with or...or did it have to be with him? Was that another reason that Sesshomaru who, before, simply left his hatred to biting remarks had taken to trying for his life instead? Sure Inuyasha knew him gaining their fathers sword was a huge turning point in their relationship but maybe the counsel getting on him for pups had been another. Maybe for Sesshomaru the idea of killing Inuyasha was something that came with only benefits.

Then again, before Inuyasha had proven he could use their fathers sword Sesshomaru had simply acted annoyed at him like always, like he was a presence that wasn’t welcome in his life. It was only after the sword hadn’t rejected him that Sesshomaru had really tried for his blood. And yet Inuyasha knew Sesshomaru had had plenty of opportunities to kill him recently and the bastard hadn’t. Even going so far as to help Kagome restore him again when his demon blood took over. At least if his friends were to be believed.

He rubbed his face with his hands in agitation. Sesshomaru was a confusing bastard but he wasn’t the focus of this situation. Kids were. And if he was going to figure out what the hell he was going to do he would need some advice. No, he would need _ counseling. _

Fuck.

————

He didn’t have time for that though as life and battles took over again, this time with far more intensity as the shikon jewel got closer and closer to completion. He got surprisingly used to seeing Sesshomaru and his odd group around as they both hunted Naraku in their own ways. Still, he couldn’t help but notice how well parenthood seemed to suite Sesshomaru the few times their groups met up. and while there really wasn’t much time to dwell on it, he couldn’t help but feel _ something _about seeing the care Sesshomaru took with the little human girl and later Sango’s brother. It made his nervous, made a cold sweat break out on his skin, but he forced it away, he had to.

Everything happened too quickly after that and there was no more time to think, there was only time to fight and desperately try to stay alive and to keep everyone else alive. And then…

Then Inuyasha had too much time to think.

Kagome vanishing back through the well took a hard toll on him but he was hopeful for her return. He knew she would come back, he could feel it, and so he stayed close to the well and did menial tasks around the village. Mostly he spent his time helping Sango and Moroku, building them a house, helping Moroku with his work, and helping them build a life together in Kaede’s village.

They had kids soon after Naraku’s defeat and he was reminded, again, of his conversation with Sesshomaru and his obligations to him. He was forced to think about his future, not only with Kagome but Sesshomaru as well. What did he want from his brother? What did he want from Kagome? Would he be able to have a life with Kagome while still fulfilling his obligations to Sesshomaru? Was it better to get those obligations done and over with _ before _ Kagome came back or…Or after she had died? He didn’t like to think about it but both knew he would out live her by a lot so waiting was still an option if Sesshomaru let him. 

He didn’t know what Sesshomaru would want though, what _ he _ wanted or even what _ Kagome _would want. He thought maybe he should have brought this all up with Kagome before, let her know about all of this but there had never seemed to be time. No, that was a lie. He hadn’t wanted her to know. Telling her meant acknowledging his fucked up marriage. Telling her meant her knowing he had obligations to uphold. Her knowing meant potentially losing her.

So no. Her not knowing was better. Now he just had to decide if he wanted to fulfill his obligations to Sesshomaru _ now _ or _ later _ because there was no way he would fulfill them when Kagome was here. He wouldn’t, no _ couldn’t _do that to her. Not after how much he had hurt her still running after Kikyo. He knew it wasn’t the same, but she deserved to have his full loyalty if she chose to come back to him.

He needed to talk to Sesshomaru, but first he needed to know the specifics about his obligations which meant Myoga and, thankfully, the stupid flea had taken to hanging around more often then not.

————

“Hey Myoga?” Inuyasha asked softly the next time the flea dropped by, trying to be quite so he wouldn’t alert the sleeping humans around him. He was thankful to Miroku and Sango that they let him stay with them while his own hut was being built, but he now had to be far more careful not to wake the twins.

“Hm?” Myoga asked, seeming to nod back out of his own sleep and blink up at him “Yes Master Inuyasha, What is it?”

“I uh. Need some advice. Some… ‘counsel of the western lands’ advice.” He prompted softly which seemed to get Myoga to fully wake up and look at him.

“Oh my. It’s been a while since you’ve asked me anything like that.” He noticed the flea shooting a look towards the beads around his neck and knew exactly what and who he was thinking of.

“It’s not about her.” Inuyasha insisted, voice holding a slight annoyed growl, though he supposed it was a decent assumption to make given the _ last _time he had bugged him like this. “It’s about Sesshomaru.” He admitted far more meekly.

“I...see.” Came Myoga’s thoughtful reply and the flea sat himself back down. “I will try to be of whatever help I can. Please continue Master Inuyasha.”

“At the badger wedding, the counsel was really, you know, hounding us about...about Sesshomaru having kids and I...need to know the rules here. Do...they have to be mine?” 

Myoga seemed surprised by the topic but quickly furrowed his brow to think for a long moment, rubbing a hand under his chin and the longer the answer was in coming the more nervous Inuyasha got.

“Well...Sesshomaru is under far stricter rules regarding the production of heirs then you are. that is: unless you want all of your children to hold places of regard within the Western Kingdom as your father did for you. The rules regarding children for you are the same as those that applied to Toga: any child you have with someone who is not Sesshomaru holds no place within the western kingdoms hierarchy. In other words, they would simply be another subject of the throne and never be able to claim it.” He nodded, as if confirming his own thoughts. “But like I said: Sesshomaru is trickier seeing as technically any child he has would be royal inuyoukai therefore they would _ all _ hold some kind of power within the kingdom and would be able to reside within the palace should they choose. But...well...while they might be held in high regard and treated as royalty, only a child born between you and Sesshomaru would have rights to the throne given you are his spouse.

“Still,” Myoga went on, “it is best that his first and second born be with you that way there is no question of who will Inherit the throne, after all, an illagitated first born battling for rights to the throne against a legitimate second born would be quite a mess.”

Inuyasha rubbed a hand down his face, hating the complexity of all this shit. “So, in other words, I _ have _ to give Sesshomaru at least one kid and I’ve got to give it to him before anyone else.”

“Um...two actually, just in case. Unless of course you die at which point Lord Sesshomaru would be free to marry again but…well...to be honest Lord Sesshomaru hasn’t exactly struck me as being the type to have many lovers.”

“Not like I would know if he did.” He growled in annoyance, “You old farts all realize were _ siblings _ right? Half-siblings But still!”

“Yes.” Myoga answered a little meakly, though he still tried to defend the counsels choice like he always did. “There was a...a very long and drawn out debate regarding that in fact and I will freely admit that I was in support of the marriage going forward. While marriage between half-siblings is indeed heavily frowned upon we were left with little other choice. Sesshomaru has no other siblings and no cousins, he is the last of both his father’s and mothers line. It was him or no one.”

“And no one meant I would have been left to die. Not that that’s much different from what _ actually _happened ha flea?!” He said in annoyance, squishing the demon before tensing as one of the kids whined softly. They both stayed quiet for a long moment but eventually the kid seemed to fall back asleep allowing them to relax.

“I am aware that you still did not receive the life you were technically entitled to,” Myoga stated back again, still squished between inuyasha’s fingers, “but please understand Master Inuyasha we certainly tried our best but there was only so much we could do to overcome the prejudices of our land”

Inuyasha hmmphed and crossed his arms in anger, glaring at his huts dying fire. “Well what the hell am I supposed to do now.” He grumbled as Myoga hopped his way back up to his shoulder.

“What do you mean my lord?”

“Sesshomaru wants kids. He told me at that stupid wedding and I don’t know what to do about it. Obviously I’m not about to die just so the bastard can have a kid with someone else. Call me selfish but I _ want _ to keep living.” He grumbled, glancing over at his friends kids and knowing that, for the first time in a very long time he actually had a future to live for, friends to live for. Kagome would come back, he knew she would. He _ wanted _to live. “But that apparently means I have to give him a kid instead. Two kids. Shit.” He grumbled, though the words were more to himself then Myoga.

Myoga let out a soft ‘oh’ sound at that but had no other words of wisdom to give, though it perturbed Inuyasha to hear a note of excitement in the fleas voice. Inuyasha didn’t bug him for any further advice, he had an idea about what Myoga’s advice would be and he really didn’t think he wanted to hear it.

—————

He was seeing Sesshomaru more and more now that Rin was living in the village with Kaede but their interactions were awkward and strange. He didn’t really know what to say or how to act around him. His brother had Rin with him almost every time they ran into each other and the sight of them together always made him tense: was that a sign that Sesshomaru wanted kids soon? Wanted them _ now? _ Or was there another reason he had the kid? And If wanting a kid was the reason was he prepared to act so soon on all of this if Sesshomaru asked?

Sesshomaru, thankfully, didn’t seem to know how to act around him either. they had learned a lot about each other while fighting a common enemy and Inuyasha knew that he had begrudgingly acquired his brother respect. For his part Inuyasha had never _ hated _ his brother, not it any true sense of the word. He had hated the way his brother had treated him but there had always been a stupid part of him that had been _ hopeful _that Sesshomaru would one day accept him, not as a spouse but at least as part of his family or, if not that, someone who was just as trapped in this world and situation as him.

Which was another thing he had to worry about with giving his brother a kid because their kid would have human blood and there was no way around that. But if Sesshomaru was ever going to accept him and that human blood it was probably going to be now. With Sesshomaru raising a human child and his regular visits to a human village it maybe gave them a chance. Inuyasha was under no impression that Sesshomaru actually _ liked _ humans now, but, in a way, Sesshomaru was showing that he could learn to like _ some _ humans and, more importantly, that his prejudices had a capacity to change. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew his brother would never fully accept him or want him but there was more than just his human blood that drove Sesshomaru’s hate. Inuyasha had to wonder if that hate, beyond his human blood, would extend to their own children. Would he hate them simply because they were Inuyasha’s? Because he had no choice but to have them with his hated brother who had caused their father’s death? Or would he love them? Would he not care that they were an obligation and instead treat them as something he wanted? Would Sesshomaru care for them as much as he cared for Rin? 

It had taken Sesshomaru’s mom one thousand years to conceive and as Inuyasha watched Sesshomaru with Rin he made his decision. He didn’t want to give Sesshomaru a chance to start hating humans again. To have something happen that would screw up all the progress his brother had made both with humans and him. And, well, if it had taken Sesshomaru’s mom that long to have a kid they might as well start trying. If he was lucky they could have both before Kagome could get back and then...then he could separate himself as much as possible from his marriage to Sesshomaru, his obligations to him being done, and focus on his life with Kagome.

He cornered Sesshomaru once his choice had finally been made when it became apparent that Sesshomaru wasn’t going to make take first step. He approaching him as calmly as he could and asking carefully if they could talk, alone. Sesshomaru had looked at him blankly, as if trying to assess exactly what Inuyasha wanted, before dismissing Jaken and leading him deep into the Woods.

It was the first time they had had sex. It wasn’t very good as neither was experienced enough to make it good but that hadn’t been the point. The point had been conceving a child and good sex wasn’t needed for that. Once they were done they simply re-dressed and went their separate ways and Inuyasha had to wonder just how often they would have to do this before something stuck.

The answer came the next time he saw Sesshomaru. He looked no different but there was a slight glow under his skin that made him look like the moon was constantly shining upon him. If Sesshomaru told anyone of his pregnancy Inuyasha didn’t know, he didn’t even tell him outside a small nod of confirmation as he walked by. Inuyasha wasn’t sure if the shock he felt at learning that their first time together had shown on his face but if it had Sesshomaru showed no reaction. 

Then Kagome arrived back and he had no more time to think of Sesshomaru or his pregnancy as he went about setting up his life with her as he had dreamed for the last three years. Maybe if they were lucky Sesshomaru would have twins and they would both be free to live the life they wanted. He could only hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to try and keep with a new chapter every two weeks for this story so that people who are interested know! these first few chapters are a little shorter as they are mostly building the world so they are coming out a little faster but later chapters when we have more character interactions will take a little longer to flush out but will have much longer chapters so look forward to that!
> 
> as always you can follow my progress at RedAlgaeBloom on either tumblr or twitter!


	3. The First Born

###  CHAPTER 3: The First Born

Sesshomaru hadn’t lied to Inuyasha. He had always wanted kids, but he had never planned on having them so soon. He wanted them when he was well and ready but as he watched his brothers interaction and relationship grow with the Miko in his group he quickly realized that he might not have time to wait. As much as he hated it he couldn't put his first child off for another five hundred years when there was a chance that Inuyasha would have a child with the Miko. 

Whether inuyasha realized it or not his first child  _ would  _ be with Sesshomaru, though this was for far more personal reasons then why his own first born had to be with Inuyasha. He knew the dangers he could create within the line of succession if his first born was with anyone else and he was unwilling to complicate his own life more. If Inuyasha’s first born was with another though, human or demon, it would likely raise questions about any children they did eventually have, especially if Inuyasha’s potentially other children turned out less than adequate. That didn’t even approach the  _ other  _ issues Sesshomaru had with the thought of his brother one day having a child with the Miko, but he would address one issue at a time and right now his first issue was having a child with Inuyasha before anyone else could.

Even knowing that he found he couldn’t bring himself to be the first to approach his brother. He knew he must and he knew that after Naraku’s defeat was the best time to approach him but he found himself uncharacteristically hesitant. He had a brief moment of relief when the Miko vanished thinking that perhaps he had been gifted more time, but it quickly became obvious that his brother was expecting the Miko’s return. It was almost sad really, the way his brother waited around the village like a stray dog for its masters return. Hardly appropriate for one with the title of ‘Master of the Lord of the Western Lands’. It made Sesshomaru’s skin crawl seeing Inuyasha act in such an undignified way and made it harder to bring himself to approach the hanyou. He told himself that it wasn’t his concern, it was hardly like anyone of importance would be seeking him out in this village, no one would  _ know _ how Inuyasha lived his life. It could not be used against their future children. Not to mention Sesshomaru had his own secrets here in the form of Rin so he supposed he couldn’t pass too harsh of judgment. Still, it kept him from addressing their joint obligation for over two years before finally his brother approached him instead. 

He was genuinely surprised when he saw the look in his eyes and read his intent, knowing after just a moment of looking him over way he was there. He had dismissed Jaken then and wandered with Inuyasha into the forest that bared his name and laid with him for the first time. He had not expected it to take and regretted for a moment that he had not gone to his mother for the potion she so often boasted about that allowed her to conceive. When near two months had passed and it had become evident that Inuyasha’s seed had taken he found himself oddly proud that not only had he not needed it, but that they had succeeded in only one try. Inuyouki were not known for their fertility but perhaps he had gotten lucky and, perhaps that luck would continue. 

\-----------------

His pup was born in their true form at just over six months of carrying. The pregnancy had lasted nearly a month over the expected time but he had refused to return to the western palace or to seek out a healer. He knew it was perhaps a stupid thing to do but he prided himself on his complete independence and he had not yet been willing to compromise that. Besides, the pup had human blood and he knew that humans took far longer to produce offspring so he had not let himself worry, the child would come when they came.

When the pup was finally born they were a tiny, The poor thing only reaching about the hight of a human waist. They were healthy though, for all their pettiness, and they fed well and cried quickly enough. Sesshomaru had licked them clean with long brushes of his tongue and watched as the white and gray fur was revealed. The markings upon the pups face were reminiscent of his father’s, jagged and purple, though two marred his pups fur, similar to his own. The mark of the royal inu, the crescent upon their head and the faint smell of human within their blood left little question as to who the pups belonged. 

Sesshomaru had a moment to wonder if his pups human blood would prevent them from being able to transform into any form but this. As much as he would have hated to admit it before: Inuyasha was powerful and, had he been a full demon, would have been capable of transforming between a some-what human form and a proper Inu, a feat only powerful demons were capable of. As it was his brother was stuck between a half-transformation. A mix between the two forms. Sesshomaru could only imagine that not only was Inuyasha’s human blood the issue, but also his human mothers inability to transform while giving birth. Because of this he had intentionally chosen to give birth in his true form as was traditional, in hopes that it would remedy the situation.

He was, admittedly, very proud when his pup was born looking fully dog. It was promising and, even if they never managed to transform into a human form it would hardly matter among demons. The majority of inuyoukai couldn’t transform at all, either being too weak to do so or too proud to do so. Like this his pup would be far more accepted. 

He continued to lick them, making their small triangular ears twitch and prompting them to continue to feed while he listened with half an ear to the forest around them. He knew he could have returned to the palace to have his pup, that he probably should have done so months ago so that proper preparations could be made. He was meant to have informed his mother and counsel as soon as he knew of the pregnancy. There were announcements and procedures and parties that were meant to be had to welcome the new heir to the throne. Only he couldn’t bring himself to do any of that. This was his first, though not likely last, pup and he found himself wanting to savor being the only one to know of their existence.

It was two weeks before his pup opened their eyes and he was met with beautiful red and teal. At 6 weeks the pup was no longer struggling to walk or stand up and Sesshomaru was confident that they could travel. The pup was rightfully confused at their parents transformation, but as Sesshomaru’s smell did not change it was easy enough to get the young one used to this form enough to follow him. Again Sesshomaru was aware that he should travel to the western palace and announce his child, the more he put it off the greater the chance that people would think something amiss with the child when, in truth, Sesshomaru was simply trying to keep them to himself a little bit longer.

So instead he turned toward Inuyasha’s forest and village it contained. His brother, being the pups sire, deserved to meet his child after all. It would be a courtesy visit but if it gave him an excuse to avoid his mother a little longer he would take it.

He met up with Jaken and A-Un first. His retainer unable to hide his shock at the presence of the new pup, already twice as tall as Jaken and many times heavier. Sesshomaru had done much to hide his pregnancy and it seemed the little kapa had been caught unawares.

“Jaken,” He said in greeting which seemed to finally pull the kapa from his open mouthed staring “his is Gengetsu, my first born.” He introduced and watched as the kapa fumbled over himself to bow to the new heir to the western throne. His pup was too occupied with keeping close to him and far too young to understand the gesture so Sesshomaru ignored it and started walking. He didn’t say more than that or give a greater of an explanation even as Jaken called out to him. He simply continued to walk with his pup followed easily behind forcing the kapa to ran to keep up while dragging A-Un along behind them.

Inuyasha’s forest was a ways off from where he had settled and his pup could only travel so far in a day so it gave him just a little more time. In the moments of silence when his pup slept and wasn’t demanding his attention he allowed himself to think: about his future, about his pups future, but mainly about Inuyasha the person they were traveling to meet. How would his brother react to their child? Inuyasha wasn’t one for cold indifference which would have been his own reaction should their positions have been switched, but it was difficult for him to imagine any other reaction. He was far more familiar with his brother’s anger and hatred than anything else but he doubted such emotions would be present in this meeting, at least not towards their pup. Still he could not imagine happiness or joy would be his reaction either, what reason would he have to feel joy for a child he was forced to produce? Inuyasha was not like their father who, after a thousand years had apparently been joyous and thankful for a pup. So no, purely positive emotions were unlikely. the pup would probably be met with confusion and curiosity above all else. Sesshomaru himself had not known what to expect from the pup, what they would look like or even be, Inuyasha was likely to be in the same mind set. It would be an acceptable response he figured, at least one that wouldn’t provoke ire. 

His thoughts kept him moving until he reached the border of the town and a familiar smell hit his nose. The Miko was back. He felt a conflicting swirl of emotions at that realization that he hadn’t been expecting but that he carefully didn’t let show on his face. He had not expected her return, even though he knew Inuyasha had been waiting for it, and he found the sudden reappearance at such an inopportune time to be frustrating. In truth he did not care either way about the human woman, she was a powerful Miko and had been instrumental in bringing down the Shikon jewel and in that she deserved as much respect as he could give to a human but on the other hand he was perfectly aware of her budding relationship with his brother. With his  _ spouse.  _ Had the situation been any different he would not have cared, after all, he didn’t  _ want _ Inuyasha as a brother, much less a spouse but as it was, as he looked down at the pup at his side only months into life, he found that he  _ did _ care. He cares a lot.

Had Sesshomaru been anyone else, had he had a different childhood, a different relationship with his brother, had their situation been anything else he would not be feeling the sudden onslaught of raw emotions at that woman’s smell. He would not be thinking of how his father’s betrayal has left his hurt and broken. How he felt towards his father for taking on a second wife, at having had another family. The wounds from his father’s death and betrayal were still so raw and as he looked down at his pup, at his first born, he couldn’t help but see that history repeating itself in his child. Would his own pup feel the pain he had felt when Inuyasha took that Miko as a wife? Would he suffer from the same deep rooted hatred Sesshomaru felt towards Inuyasha for his father’s acts and choices? Should Inuyasha have another child with the Miko would he give that child their father’s sword, causing history to repeat itself over again? One thing was certain though: Sesshomaru would never force his child, or any of his future children, into a marriage with any of Inuyasha’s own. He would not do to them what his father did to him and his second born. Inuyasha’s children would be on their own, subjects if the western kingdom and no more. He would refuse to force a marriage between siblings upon his children, no matter what.

His thoughts left him standing there, frozen in place as he warred with himself. He had thought before that Inuyasha deserved to meet his pup, his first born, but the thought of letting Inuyasha show his pup to anyone else, To show it to that  _ Miko,  _ drove his to anger. She would be the source of pain for his pup, that woman which would give Inuyasha other pups, No  _ children,  _ After all, they would be mostly human.  _ She  _ would be at fault and Inuyasha too for feeding into this, for repeating the history their father so distorously laid out. 

There was a solution though, an easy one: he would simply keep them separate, Inuyasha and their child. He would have no part in his brother’s  _ human  _ life and his brother would have no part in their pups life. The pup could not be hurt or betrayed by someone they never got a chance to know. To them Inuyasha would only ever be a sire, a distant figure that they only met when necessary. It would be better like that.

Sesshomaru turned to go. It was sad that Rin would not be able to meet the pup but there was no helping it and his own mood had soured significantly. It was not an appropriate time to visit his almost-adoptive child. Jaken let out a confused “my lord?” As they changed direction but did not complain further as he leaned down and took his pup into his hands and took to the air towards the western palace. He had put off going there long enough and Inuyasha could find out about his pup with the rest of the western lands. And If his brother wanted to see the pup then he could request an audience like everyone else. Sesshomaru knew it was unreasonable but he felt he was allowed it, at least where his pup was concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No real notes this time besides saying: things are really going to pick up next chapter! 
> 
> You can find me on Twitter and tumblr under the same name!


	4. An Audience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Inuyasha find out he has a...kid?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for the delay in this chapter! Work piled up on me fast

### CHAPTER 4: An Audience 

Inuyasha had to hear about the birth of his own child when Myoga showed up to congratulate him. The situation had been awkward from the start as, as per usual, the flea had no sense of timing. He had arrived in the middle of dinner with his friends and loudly congratulated him on the birth before Inuyasha had squashed the annoyance and promptly glared at him, seething and pointedly asking ‘what the hell he was talking about’, trying to silently remind him of the presence of humans that _ did not know certain things about him _.

The flea had quickly corrected himself, thankfully, and ‘explained’ that he wished him congratulations on being an uncle, a statement that still surprised the group around him but not to the extent that the _ other _ news would have. After all, he doubted them finding out he was a _ father _ would go over well at all.

“I had no idea Sesshomaru was married.” Miroku had mumbled while the girls in the party nodded looking at him wide eyed and curious. There was a question in Miroku’s words but the damn monk, as always, was far too polite to speak it. Inuyasha simply huffed and crossed his arms, feeling oddly annoyed and agitated. He was pissed but really, what had he expected? That Sesshomaru would let him know the kid was born? That he would; what? Bring the kid to come and see him? Or even let him be there for his own kids birth? Of course Sesshomaru wouldn’t do something like that, it wasn’t like they had somehow miraculously started to _ like _ one another. Sesshomaru probably just saw him as a means to a kid the fucking bastard. It wasn’t like Sesshomaru had involved him in the _ pregnancy _at all either.

Besides, what if it had happened when Kagome had come back? What if he had missed her return? Would it have been worth it? He glanced over at the woman in question and hesitated. He had missed the birth of his first born but if he hadn’t been there and Kagome had arrived back to him not waiting...what would she have thought? Would she have seen it as him abandoned her? After all this time? As much as it pissed him off that Sesshomaru hadn’t told him shit and that he had to find out from Myoga of all people he reluctantly had to admit that this was probably for the best. Probably. Still, once the anger faded he had found his chest hurting with an unexpected tightness that rubbing hasn’t alleviated.

It took him awhile to realize that the room had become uncharacteristically quiet as he had gotten lost in his own thoughts and when he looked up he saw everyone staring at him. 

“What?” he asked, his agitation building again as he looked around the group, trying to figure out what the hell they were staring at and what he had missed. He dropped his hand from where his had been rubbing his chest and crossed them instead, hiding his arms in the sleeves of his robes.

“We asked if you knew that Sesshomaru was married or do inuyoukai not do that?” Sango clarified, all of his friends looking at him in concern. He should probably be glad that shippo was off to bed already otherwise he would have been dodging far more invasive question.

Inuyasha snorted and rolled his eyes. “Ya I knew, it was a shit ass arranged marriage and they both hate each other so don’t think too much into it.”

“Well obviously they couldn’t have hated each other too much if they managed to have a kid.” Miroku said, the comment obviously meant to be provocative which left him with a blow across the head from Sango. On Inuyasha’s shoulder Myoga cleared his throat.

“Yes well, it was Lord Sesshomaru’s obligation to produce and heir to the throne. The...feeling between the two parties notwithstanding.”

“Poor woman.” Kagome frowned, looking genuinely concerned, “I can’t imagine what it must be like to be married to someone you hate, much less being forced to have a kid with them.” She shook her head, missing the way Inuyasha seemed to tense slightly. “Hey Inuyasha, do you think we will ever get a chance to meet her? Maybe we could help out in some way.” and, oh no, Inuyasha knew that look upon Kagome’s face, that air of determination that came over her. He hadn’t seen it in three years but he knew exactly what it meant. 

“Oh no! We are _ not _ playing ‘fix the relationship’ with Sesshomaru and his spouse!” Inuyasha said quickly, glaring, “this isn’t one of your crappy romance stories Kagome. We are _ not _ getting involved in any of that. At all. We are not touching it! Are you even listening to me!? We. are. Not. getting involved with Sesshomaru’s relationship problems!” He said, grabbing her shoulders and shaking them to get his point across. 

“Come on inuyasha, the guy has loosened up since I first met him and he definitely seems less ‘going to murder everyone’ vibes” Kagome tried to insist and before Inuyasha could complain further Sango was speaking up too in agreement.

“Not to mention he obviously has come to really love Rin. it might have been a while since he has visited but he was doing so pretty regularly before.”

“And we obviously now know why he hasn’t had much of a chance to visit these last few months. A new baby is a lot of work.” Miroku laughed but it was cut off by a yawn. Inuyasha twitched at the thought of his new kid being born the same time as Miroku’s own newest. 

“That’s right! He really has softened up with Rin and he’s obviously shown himself to be a pretty attentive parent, maybe seeing how good of a dad he is will help his relationship with his wife.” Kagome sounded a little too excited at the prospect and Inuyasha was starting to feel worry and panic building in him.

“Look, the bitch probably isn’t even around anymore alright? She probably popped out the kid and left.” He tried to reason, no way in hell was he giving away the fact that _ Sesshomaru _ was the bitch in question, he knew when not to touch a topic. 

“Inuyasha!” Kagome’s cried out in scandalized anger but again Sango cut in before the situation could escalate.

“Wouldn’t the baby need to feed though?” She asked, her own baby at her nipple, “Surely she couldn’t have left so fast.”

“We could always ask Myoga since he is the one who dropped by with the news.” Miroku prompted, looking at the flea

“Wh-who me!? Well would you look at the time I really should get go-” he was caught out of the air by Kagome.

“Hold on Myoga, you’ve got to know something about this woman right? “ 

“W-well you s-see-” Myoga started, spinning around and around from his shirt, his eyes catching Inuyasha’s glaring ones each time he spun in that direction. “Why don’t you go to the western palace and find out for yourself?”

“Myoga!” Inuyasha yelled while the rest of the group seemed to perk up in excitement at the thought but Inuyasha was left with a torrent of emotions over the whole thing. He knew full-well that his friends would be more than happy for the trip and _ also _ knowing that the palace meant certain secrets becoming nearly impossible to hide. He _ did not _ want to take them there or _ ever _ expose them to that part of his life.

Still...it did mean he would be able to see his kid. The pain in his chest came back at the thought. A treacherous part of his mind tried to tell him that he shouldn't have to request permission to go see his own kid, insisting that he should have been summoned sooner, should have heard this news directly from Sesshomaru. Hell, he didn’t even know when the kid had been born, was it yesterday? This morning? A few days ago? He was the pup’s father but he didn’t know the answer to any of those questions and it only made that pain grow and grow.

He caught Myoga’s eye who only gave him an apologetic look and he sighed. This was better, not knowing, having his distance. this was fine. 

“Alright. We’ll go. But _ you _ have to deliver the news to Sesshomaru that we are heading over you got that flea and if _ he _ says ‘no’ we ain’t going!” The pain in his chest worsened at that, at the thought of Sesshomaru rejecting him, but he ignored it. He would learn to push it away eventually “I know some of those bastards in that place and they _ eat _ humans.”

“I’m sure it will be fine Inuyasha. Besides, don’t you want to see your brother’s kid?” She prompted and he sighed heavily. He _ really _ hoped Sesshomaru had something up his sleeve to deal with this. 

\------------------------

Myoga had left quickly after that, leaving Inuyasha to deal with too many questions from his curious friends. He knew they weren’t meant in malace but the more they kept asking about Sesshomaru’s ‘wife’ the more he wanted to scream “It’s me alright!?” just to get them to shut up about it.

As it was he was forced to dodge the question, insisting he had been too young the last time he had seen ‘her’ to remember ‘her’ and further insisting that, besides being Inu and that Sesshomaru hated her that he knew nothing about the ‘woman’. 

“I wonder if that was why Sesshomaru was always just wandering around.” Miroku thought, “trying to avoid the married life.” he sighed lightly, closing his eyes and shaking his head, “Poor fool, he doesn’t know the joys he is missing from a happy marriage.”

Inuyasha was the one who hit him this time, even though it left his group of friends confused as to why. Still, they seemed to finally pick up on just how badly Inuyasha’s mood had soured and took the hint to pack up and leave. Kagome paused at the door to his hut though, the hut that he had thought they would share but when the time came she had chosen to stay with Kaede instead. She had explained her choice to him, about not wanting to rush into things just because they could, and though he hated her decision then, right now he found he wanted the privacy. Stills, the way she was looking back at him, full of concern and like she wanted to try and _ help, _almost made him want to open up to her. Instead he staid silent and let her leave back to Kaede’s hut. He needed space to think and to deal with the onslaught of emotions that were ripping him in two different directions and as much as he loved Kagome, he didn’t need to deal with his emotions regarding her as well.

Once his friend were gone he let the emotions flow more freely. On one hand there was anger. How _ dare _ Sesshomaru not tell him that the pup was being born. How dare he not let him be there! Ya they had a shit relationship but they were improving and there were some things that-that-

He snarled, moving on.

There was the pain next, that feeling in his chest, and he recognized it now as sadness. He had missed his own kids _ birth _, he hadn’t been there. Not that he thought he could have helped or anything but it felt important, like something he should have been there to see. Only he hadn’t been, Sesshomaru hadn’t invited him and to add insult to injury he hadn’t even personally dropped by with the news that the kid was born. Which, okay, maybe it had just happened. He remembered how Sango was after her deliveries, she hadn’t been able to go anywhere for a few days while she recovered her strength so maybe that was why but still…

It felt like a betrayal.

The more he thought about it the more his anger and pain seemed irrational though. There was no reason for Sesshomaru to involve him in this and there was no reason that he should have even assumed he would he involved. They didn’t get along, they didn’t want to be married, they were both only fulfilling an obligation by having this kid, and so there was no reason for him to be angry or to feel pain over this. There was no reason at all.

He sat in silence in his hut as the fire died in its pit and wondered absentmindedly what the kid looked like and if any of his mother's blood was shining through at all.

\-------------------------

The trip to the western palace started out easily enough. They had been forced to wait a few weeks, per Inuyasha’s demand, insisting that there was no way he was going to head all the way there only to find the doors locked on them. So the group had reluctantly waited for some kind of word from Sesshomaru which came with the appearance of non-other than a very annoyed Jaken and Ah-Un. The trip would normally only take a few days, three if inuyasha went on his own, but they were walking slow due to Miroku’s troop bring along their youngest who was too small to leave his mother’s side and Rin who Jaken said Lord Sesshomaru wanted them to bring along if they were going to insist on coming.

It was a relatively uneventful trip for the most part, if one ignored Jaken’s incessant grumbling, kids screaming and playing, and the still constant questions that Inuyasha kept being bombarded with. Thankfully the topic had switched to the western palace itself and Inuyasha felt less terrible since he didn’t have to lie about not knowing shit about it. While he had gone there for a few celebrations here and there he had never been allowed anywhere but the main courtyard and the rooms they assigned him.

Rin, on the other hand, seemed to know something about it which surprised Inuyasha but every time Rin moved to open her mouth to reply Jaken would hit her lightly and hiss at her to be silent. Inuyasha found it strange until, about a quarter way through the journey, Jaken took an odd turn and Inuyasha realized they were _ not _going to the western palace. It seemed that Sesshomaru did have some tricks up his sleeves after all and he felt himself relax...marginally. 

Still, the closer they got to wherever Jaken was leading them the more populous the area became. Demons were not known to create villages but there were exceptions, especially around palaces. They began to run into demon traders and merchants first, obviously on their way to wherever it was Jaken was taking them. Normally it wouldn’t have been a problem but demon’s started to recognize him and while most demon’s seeing him sneered and cursed at him, some did approach to ‘congratulate’ him on the kid, with varying levels of malice. Thankfully none mentioned anything about him being the father with only one notable occasion of a lesser demon sneering out ‘it would he _ such a tragedy for the father to die as Toga did’ _which, thankfully, his friends took to mean Sesshomaru and not him. 

Eventually they did both make it to and make it through the small village with little incident and onto a heavily guarded path that lay beyond it. The new path had gone on for miles, winding back and forth through dense trees and the deeper they went the more magic seemed to fill the air, causing a charge on his skin. Inuyasha knew, for sure, this wasn’t the western palace now, after all that palace was in the _ sky. _

The palace itself seemed to appear out of nowhere as they passed through what must have been a barrier to glimpse the large structure beyond. The guards at the gate seemed to be expecting them and bowed to the group as they were allowed them to pass without issue. 

They had to pass through two more gates with a number of elaborate gardens in between before they reached the main structures. Finally passing through the final gate they came to a stop in front of a set of stairs leading up to the main building within the palace and there, regal as ever, were three figures to meet them: Sesshomaru, His mother, and a large dog.

No, Inuyasha realized as they got closer and stopped at the foot of the stairs. Not a dog. A _ Puppy. _

Inuyasha felt frozen in the spot at the sight of it. It was large with white and gray fur. Sitting It’s head reached just above Sesshomaru’s hip. The crescent moon upon its brow was unmistakable but so where the swiveling ears upon the pups head. Pointed ears. _ His _ ears. That was the kid. That was _ his _kid.

No, his _ puppy. _

Fuck, he had a _ puppy. _

Said puppy was watching the group curiously but cautiously, pressed tightly to Sesshomaru’s side and it wasn’t until The Lady of the West stepped forward that he realized he had fallen behind his group. It was also then that he finally registered the rest of the demons in the courtyard, both in human-like forms and true forms. The weaker ones, those that could not take on a human-like form seemed to be mostly servants or the young but all watched them intensely, taking in Miroku’s monk garb and Kagome’s Miko attire. He was starting to think that maybe he had worried about the wrong thing. 

“Inuyasha.” his mother-in-law said with a sharp looking smile upon her lips, like a gambler who was expecting to have a wonderful night of games. Inuyasha always felt like a toy under her gaze and now was no different. “I welcome you are your...group into my castle.” She did not say the name of the castle and Inuyasha wondered if she was in on whatever it was that Sesshomaru had planned. He supposed she had to be. He wondered what that had cost his brother, he knew the lady of the west’s support did not come cheap. “Come, my servants will show you all to your room but before that I am certain you are eager to meet the new pup.” her smile widened as she turned, and now it seemed that his friends had caught up to what he had noticed immediately upon seeing them. 

Sesshomaru’s ‘child’ was a _ Puppy. _

\-------------------------- 

Sesshomaru watched the group as they entered through the final gate of the palace and caught the moment that Inuyasha’s eyes fell on their pup. The shock there was obvious and Sesshomaru had to wonder what he had been expecting, forgetting that just a few months ago Sesshomaru himself had been unsure if his child would be a proper puppy or more similar to Inuyasha himself.

He let his mother move forward to great their to-be guests to the palace while he himself stayed behind. When Myoga had brought word of Inuyasha’s impending visit he had allowed himself a moment of triumph at having forced Inuyasha to request such a thing only for the satisfaction to be crushed when he had heard that Inuyasha planned to bring his whole band of human misfits. He had seen red upon hearing that and had nearly killed the flea then and there. How _ dare _ Inuyasha bring them to meet his pup. How _ dare _ he brings the human wench whom was likely to bare him nearly human children. How _ dare he _ make Sesshomaru’s pup suffer in the presence of such a woman! The whole reason he had not taken his pup to the village in the first place! At least Sesshomaru had been old enough to reject his father’s request that he meet his second wife, and he could only hope that his pup was too young to remember this _ insult _ from their own father. 

Sesshomaru had been close to denying the request but Sesshomaru’s motherbhad spoken up, thinking it a _ lovely _ idea and Sesshomaru had only once before felt such viceral anger at her and that had been when she had signed off on this damned union in the first place. He could tell that she saw this as a game, as something _ fun _to do to break up the monotony of her rule and Sesshomaru hated that he so often had to suffer for it.

Still, he had been able to make _ some _ demands. If his mother wanted to play this game then he could not stop her but he could find a compromise. _ Some _ attempt to hold onto his plan to keep Inuyasha’s human life and inuyasha himself as far away from his pup as possible. So they had moved to their forest palace, one far smaller and more isolated then the Western Palace. They had told the counsel it was because Sesshomaru needed the peace and quiet of the forest to care for the still young pup and that the Forest surrounding the palace was a perfect place to let a young pup learn to run and hunt. There had been no objections of course, no one but his mother would dare to question him on this, and his mother had simply looked at him with a fond and knowing smile and followed after him. 

The Forest Castle had minimal guards and staff, only enough to keep the location from falling into dis-repair and Sesshomaru made quick work of informing them of their duties and to put his plan in motion. While they _ would _ properly address Inuyasha as ‘Master Inuyasha’ or ‘Master of the West’ they would _ not _ mention at any time his and Sesshomaru’s marriage nor were they to mention his relation to Sesshomaru’s new pup at _ any _ point. As they got ready to prepare for their soon-to-be guests he also ensured that Inuyasha would _ not _ be kept in the family corridor. While he did allow inuyasha his own room, he would _ not _ have him sleeping with that Miko under his own roof, he also did not want him anywhere near his or his pups room. If the staff were surprised by the order they didn’t mention it, they were not paid to question him or his choices after all. 

And so here they were, standing before Inuyasha and his rag-tag group as his mother introduced herself and then turned her attention to Sesshomaru. It was then that Sesshomaru’s eyes were finally pulled away from Inuyasha’s and he realized that, while Inuyasha had been staring at their pup, he had been staring at inuyasha. He looked at the group then and watched the look of surprise on all of their faces as he placed a hand on his pups head and guided them to stand and take a step forward down the stairs, something that had taken quite a lot of coaxing to train the pup to do. They were far more confident in their steps now, but there was still the shyness of a new pup in them who did not want to leave their mother's side. The pup watched the humans nervously as Sesshomaru guided them closer before turning his attention to Inuyasha. 

“Inuyasha, allow me to formally introduce you to my first-born: Gengetsu” He motioned as Inuyasha seemed to hesitate only a moment before moving forward in front of the group.

“I don’t know how to do this.” Inuyasha whispered to him, knowing that his keen ears would pick it up though really he had to also know that most of the courtyard would too. It was only the humans that would not be able to hear his words. 

“Given your...position you will be allowed to have a less formal meeting later. For now a simple bow in greeting will suffice.” Inuyasha seemed to hesitate at that before finally bowing. It wasn’t a great bow, it was obvious that Inuyasha wasn’t used to such things, but he stood back up and gave the near hiding pup a nervous smile. “It’s...good to meet you Gengetsu. you um...ya.” he glanced at Sesshomaru who gave nothing away but his mothers fan was out again, hiding her smile. 

“Shall we retire indoors then? That way we can have a far less formal introduction.”

\----------------------

“It’s a puppy!” Kagome hissed softly as they were left to freshen up in the guest rooms they were taken to, each of them having been given one within the same hallway though they had chosen to all pile into Miroku and Sango’s instead. “Inuyasha you didn’t say it was going to be a puppy!”

“How the hell was I supposed to know!” He shot back with an annoyed glare. He had expected that once they entered the palace that they would be taken somewhere to properly interact with the pup, or at least that _ he _ would be, given that he was the damn pups father but _ no _apparently that honor went to Rin first! 

He knew it was stupid to be jealous of a human child but damn it! That was _ his _ kid! 

“I suppose we should have expected it.” Sango said, settling her own newborn down with a sigh, “after all, only the most powerful demons are able to take on human formes. It is unlikely that a new-born demon, even one from a powerful demon like Sesshomaru, would be able to transform.”

“I guess that makes sense, it’s just a little odd to see I guess. It’s really easy to forget that Sesshomaru is a dog himself.” Inuyasha drown out their conversation at that point, finding that it just increased his agitation. Instead he stood and started pacing across the floor by the door, annoyance growing with every passing second until a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He turned and met Miroku's worried gaze. “My friend, is everything alright?”

“It’s fine.” He bit out, shrugging Miroku’s hand off his shoulder, “it’s just how long does it fucking take to let a little girl see the damn pup?! And why does she get to go first!?”

The room was quiet for a long time as Inuyasha resumed his pacing until Miroku spoke up again like the voice of reason he liked to pretend that he was. “Well my friend, Sesshomaru has often treated Rin as his own child so it shouldn’t be too surprising that he would wish for her to meet the pup first. And...well. Let’s be honest, you haven’t exactly had the best relationship with your brother.”

“Weren’t you the one who didn’t even want to come here?” Sango added, looking at him curiously and Inuyasha let out an annoyed growl, throwing open the room door and startling a badger guard at the door. 

“I’m going exploring! If Sesshomaru shows up tell him ‘Fuck You’ for me!” He yelled as he marched away.

—————

He kept Inuyasha waiting for as long as he could, purposefully pushing him until he could not put him off any longer and had Inuyasha summoned.

His brother entered his rooms with an air of anger that Sesshomaru had expected but had frightened their pup enough to curl up and hide against Sesshomaru’s chest, trying to make themselves as small as possible. Sesshomaru had happily let that be an excuse to glare at his brother and warned him that, if he could not control himself, then he could _ leave. _

It had been entertaining to watch Inuyasha struggle to dampen his anger, after all Inuyasha was such an emotional creature, and he was upset when his brother actually managed the feat and took a place in the room.

Both of them were silent after that as Sesshomaru simply pet their pup, calming them down and comforting them while Inuyasha waited with a surprising amount of patience, his gaze fully on the puppy in Sesshomaru’s lap.

He also wondered if Inuyasha was looking for any traits of himself within the pup. Would he even be able to pick them out if he could? The short pointed ears perhaps, but he doubted that inuyasha was aware of the colors of his own markings when his demon blood took over. The pups eyes were the blood-red and teal of any inuyouki’s true form and so neither of them would know until the child was capable of transformation just what color their eyes would be, nor would they know who’s physical features they took after. Sesshomaru had been one hundred and twenty when he had finally managed his first transformation so they had a while to wait yet. Until then their pup would look simply like a full inuyoukai. He wondered if the thought bothered his brother or if he even knew enough about demon development to be bothered by it.

Sesshomaru had asked his mother the night before, as he himself had mentally prepared for this meeting, how she had simply not cared that his father had taken on another wife. His mother had laughed at him and said she had found the question ‘cute’. 

“Tell me Sesshomaru, have you ever experienced love?” She had asked instead of answering, lounging back across a mat in her room, petting her grandchild gently. Sesshomaru did not have to think long to answer with a yes but she shook her head. 

“Not familial Sesshomaru, not the love you feel for your pup or for that human child you have taken on. I speak of _ romantic _ love.” And here Sesshomaru had to hesitate again. His mind going to Kagura for a moment, Rin had thought he had felt that way for the wind demon but he could not say decisively on the matter. He had felt anger for the irreverent way that Mōryōmaru had soiled her death, and death that he had felt was honorable. After all, she had done exactly what she had always wanted to do, through her hands alone. She had escaped Naraku, and though it cost her her life it was worthy of respect. 

That was all there was though, a deep respect for her at the end of her life. She had stopped turning to him or any other to be saved and had instead saved herself. She had shown herself worthy of remembering. But was that love? He didn’t think so.

There was also Jaken who he felt an odd sense of appreciation for. Out of everyone in his life Jaken was the one being, save perhaps now Rin, that he knew he could rely on no matter what but, again, he did not think that was love.

He thought about the way Inuyasha looked at that Miko and knew he had never felt anything like that towards another.

He had turned his attention back to his mother who was giving him a knowing smile. “Don’t feel so bad my dear, love such as that may be common among humans but it is rare within demons. When your father came to me, telling me he had fallen in _ love _ what else could I do but let him have his fun? Of course I had not thought it would kill him but what can you do?” She shrugged and Sesshomaru simply stared. 

“Either way Sesshomaru, can you honestly tell me you care that much?” She had gone on, having known exactly what prompted this line of questioning even if Sesshomaru hadn’t said it “It’s just a human. She’ll be dead in no time!”

But, as Sesshomaru sat and watched Inuyasha, watched as his pup finally recovered and tentatively moved to explore the other, Sesshomaru knew that he did care. He cared a lot. Not for any such thing like _ love _ for Inuyasha but instead for the love he felt for his child. Inuyasha’s love for a human woman would be seen as a continuation of Toga’s own weakness, and his child, _ their _child would be seen as holding Toga’s black mark, not once but twice within their blood, compounded over. What could that mean but ruin for the inuyoukai to have a leader from those that loved humans? What would it mean for him and their child should he allow his brother down the same path of their father? Would Inuyasha die too the same way that his father did? Would he be left with only one child and the inuyoukai clan left to further dwindle?

He must have been thinking too long for when he came back to himself, his pup was asleep across Inuyasha’s lap as Inuyasha gently pet them.

“They’re beautiful.” He heard Inuyasha mumble and he felt hot anger burn through him before forcing it down. 

“Yes.” He agreed, voice carefully measured as he watched. ‘And you will only ever be a source of pain for them’ he did not say.

‘Still’, he thought as he finally moved, shifting forward and closing the space between Inuyasha and himself and helping guide the pup to a sleeping mat across the room, ‘If Inuyasha is to have the same fate as our father then I will simply get as many pups from him now as I am able.’ And at least this way he would know his brother wouldn’t spend the night with the Miko instead.


	5. Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sesshomaru over reacts in a very Sesshomaur way and Inuyasha makes a choice (and it's a bad one)

### CHAPTER 5: Breaking

Inuyasha didn’t return to his rooms that night or the next morning. He had been occupied too long with Sesshomaru, far longer than he had expected, and when he had ultimately been dismissed he had found the prospect of going back to his friends or even just his room unappealing - like he would taint that part of his life with what he had just done.

Instead, he wandered - he was the future ‘Master of the West’ after all, he had that right - and tried to ignore the emotions swirling through his body. Yesterday hadn’t gone well in any aspect for the term and it left him floundering in his own mind. It had already been a shock to actually _ see _ his new child, to find out it was actually a _ puppy _ , but to then be ignored until late in the night and only then be summoned when nearly the whole palace was on its way to bed? He had thought when he had stormed into Sesshomaru’s rooms, that his brother had summoned him so late in order to limit the time Inuyasha got with his _ own _ kid. He had been livid and fuming and only the fear the pup had shown had curbed his anger.

And then Sesshomaru had approached him. Had taken the pup from his arms and ultimately guided Inuyasha to his own bed. It hadn’t been expected and the shock of it had drained his anger completely. Spending another night with Sesshomaru hadn’t even been on his mind until it was happening, and then...then he had to question everything else that had happened that day. 

Had Sesshomaru put off the private meeting between him and the pup so that Inuyasha would be in his room that night? Had he not done it to upset him but instead to make the transition simpler and more discreet? And if that was his reason then did Inuyasha really have any right to be upset? Sesshomaru was technically _ helping _ him keep this secret from his friends, so how could he be angry about that?

He wasn’t sure anymore and that, alone, frustrated him. 

Instead he tried to focus his thoughts on his new puppy, not the circumstances surrounding them. He hadn’t been sure what to expect from the puppy and he also hasn’t been sure if it was even old enough to have a personality yet. The first few months of Sango’s kids being alive they really hadn’t done much more than cry, poop, and eat. His own pup was definitely far more advanced than that, at least they were walking and seemed to be able to play, even if they did seem a little reluctant to leave Sesshomaru’s side.

Playing with the pup last night had been a treat though. He got to pet them and ruffle their fur while they sniffed and explored him, trying to understand the new person in their life. He had felt oddly proud when ultimately they had climbed into his lap and allowed him to hold them until they fell asleep, giving him time to really look the pup over.

Besides the ears there wasn’t much of himself that he could see. Sure he could smell the faint traces of human blood within them, but physically his pup was, well, a pup. There was nothing _ human _ about them. He was surprised at how much the realization hurt. His mother had meant so much to him, had been all he had when he was a child, and to have no trace of her in his own kid? It hurt.

He wondered if the pup had a human night. He had meant to ask Sesshomaru but hadn’t had the chance, the thought having fled his mind as soon as Sesshomaru had touched him, and now he regretted not knowing. He used to hate his human nights, to resent them. They had made his life so much more difficult but it also gave him a tie to his human side, one he had only started to appreciate when he met Kikyo and then later Kagome. But Inuyasha wasn’t that much of an idiot, he knew his pup would have little to no interaction with humans as they grew. If they _ did _ have a human night they would probably just grow to resent it more then Inuyasha even did. Hell, once Sesshomaru wasn’t needed to feed them he wouldn’t be surprised if his bitch of a mom spirited them away to the western palace for the rest of their lives. 

And speaking of the Bitch-

“Oh, Inuyasha my _ dear! _There you are! I was looking for you all morning!” She called out to him, her steps so soft upon the wooden porch that Inuyasha had to wonder if she wasn’t floating. He watched her approach with the exhausted resignation he had gained through a hundred years of dealing with her and knowing that he was going to leave this conversation at the end of his already very short rope.

Still, might as well start with style, “Ya well you found me so you might as well spit it out: What do you want from me _ now _ old hag?”

\---------

Inuyasha eventually returned to the guest suite only to be met with the curious and worried gazes of his friends, something he really didn’t want to deal with after last night and now his morning ‘chat’ with his mother-in-law. She had, as usual, danced around her reason for cornering him and skillfully ignored his insults for almost an _ hour _ before getting to the point which had ended up being _ nothing. _

Or, not nothing he realized as he looked around at his friends’ faces and realized exactly what she had done. That bitch had made sure his friends found out he hadn’t been back last night! She had kept him talking about _ nothing _ long enough for his friends to wake up, check in his room, find that he hadn’t _ slept in there _ and get worried.

He was going to kill her. 

“It’s nothing. That bastard just called me as late as fucking possible to see the pup and then I couldn’t find my way back here since everyone was asleep.” He lied. Sadly, and much to his annoyance, his friends knew how to read him a little too well at this point and it was obvious they hadn’t bought the half-truth.

“Inuyasha-“ Kagome tried to start but Inuyasha let out a small growl to cut her off.

“Look I’m not really in the mood okay?” He bit out, hoping the anger would help to hide the lie a little better “I’m not exactly _ comfortable _ in a demon palace if that’s escaped your notice. Add that to having to deal with my ass of a brother and his bitch of a mom I’m really not in the mood.” He huffed. “So just drop it and let’s get some grub. At least _ that _ is something I’m glad to take advantage of in this hell hole.” He stormed off, not even waiting to see if his friends would follow. 

Honestly, he found he was just as pissed at his friends as he was at Sesshomaru, his mom, and the whole gods’ forsaken situation. If it was up to him he would have left them back at the village where they wouldn’t have had to be exposed to _ this _ part of his life at all. The stupid castles and stupid marriages and the stupid obligations that came with it. He had only just managed to _ make _ friends, real ones, and the last thing he needed was for Sesshomaru’s mom to blurt out something incriminating or his friends to ask one too many questions to the castle staff…he didn’t know how he would even rescue the situation if they _ did _ find out. He could already see them looking at him in shock and horror and Kagome…Kagome would look at him with disgust he realized, his heart feeling heavy with pain. Her disgust wouldn’t even be undeserved either, and add that to how back-and-fourth he had been with Kikyo already her finding out he was married to Sesshomaru would be the end of everything between them. Between all of them really because Miroku and Sango _ would _side with Kagome and they would be right to too. 

And then he would be all alone again, abandoned. He couldn’t let that happen. He _ wouldn’t. _

It wasn’t until he was halfway down a random hall that he realized he really _ was _ lost now and, reluctantly, had to ask for directions. 

—————

Breakfast was a tense affair, not only because of the way his thoughts had been swirling before, or the worry-heavy air around his friends, but because of the conspicuously empty place set out next to Sesshomaru and the one-too-few place settings in the guest portion of the table. Inuyasha knew that the place next to Sesshomaru had been set for him but he purposely ignored it and chose instead to sit among his friends, the staff being forced to scramble to get an extra placing for him. Sesshomaru, unsurprisingly, didn’t seem bothered by Inuyasha’s choice and the Lady of the West simply seemed amused. He had the distinct impression that she had purposefully had the table set as such. 

As always Sesshomaru and his mother did not eat, instead the sat sipping lightly from teacups. The pup had been placed to Sesshomaru’s other side where they whimpered and nudged at him throughout the meal, forcing Sesshomaru to artfully avoid spilling his tea: something that Inuyasha would have found amusing in most other circumstances. Instead, he couldn’t help but wonder if the pup was demanding to be fed and if Sesshomaru was starving the poor thing due to having to entertain guests.

“Will your wife not be joining us?” Miroku was the first to ask once food had been placed out for the human occupants of the room. He nodded to the place that had been set out next to Sesshomaru, emphasizing it. Sesshomaru’s gaze fell to the spot, taking it in as his mother smirked from the head of the table, _ her _ eyes on Inuyasha. 

“No.” Sesshomaru responded simply after a moment, his expression as blank as ever as he took a sip of his tea “You may eat.” he instructed and, thank the gods for Rin who took that as a command and happily started to dig into her meal, giving Inuyasha the excuse to do the same and avoid his mothers-in-law’s gaze.

————

Inuyasha was surprised when Sesshomaru summoned him to his rooms again that night. He had expected that, just like with their first born, they would try once and wait - and hope that once would be enough - but the summons seemed to indicate that that wasn’t the plan this time around. 

It made him feel...odd when he thought about it too much. Like he was trying to solve one of those questions from Kagome’s ‘tests’. His emotions were already running high from everything and Sesshomaru going against his pre-established patterns wasn’t helping. It didn’t make sense that he would be summoned again tonight and he knew that if he wanted it to make sense then he was going to have to _ ask _ Sesshomaru what he was thinking but the prospect of _ that _wasn’t exactly appealing either. 

He was only comforted by the fact the Sesshomaru also seemed tense and unsure what to do. At least they were in the same boat in that regard. 

“So…” Inuyasha finally started, their pup had long since fallen asleep at Inuyasha’s side again and yet Sesshomaru hadn’t made a move yet like that night before. “About yesterday. You, um... want another pup already?” He finally prompted, only just keeping from biting his tongue. He realized the secondary implication of his question, that If the answer was ‘no’ that that would mean Sesshomaru had propositioned him yesterday simply because he _ wanted _ to. It would certainly explain _ why _ he had been summoned two nights in a row but Inuyasha was shoving down the very _ thought _ that his brother might actually _ want him _ to the very deep recesses of his mind because there was absolutely _ no way- _

“Yes.” Sesshomaru answered with very little pause, erasing Inuyasha’s worry, so the second summons had to be for another reason then. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if the other option had turned out to be true, probably fled deep into the woods while he tried desperately to forget it. “Is that going to be a problem?”

“No.” Inuyahsa answered automatically, his mind still focused on his relief from Sesshomaru’s first answer, before pausing and really thinking about it because...well it hadn’t really answered Inuyasha’s question about why he had been summoned two nights in a row and if Sesshomaru was asking if something was going to be a problem then that meant he had noticed that there _ was _ a problem. But what could that problem be? He took a moment to think about it, narrowing his eyes at Sesshomaru and forcing himself to _ think _. What problem could there be?

Kagome’s face flashed before his eyes, her expression full of horror and disgust and he knew exactly what Sesshomaru was talking about.

“You mean Kagome. You’re talking about Kagome.” He said, his body becoming tense, ready for a fight, causing their pup to whimper slightly in their sleep. “You’re summoning me here because of _ Kagome?!” _He asked incredulously, hardly able to believe it. 

“I am well aware of your relationship with that woman.” Sesshomaru answered his voice unnervingly calm which automatically put Inuyasha on even more of an edge. “Which is precisely why we are doing this _ now _. I refuse to have relations with you after you have taken her.”

So Sesshomaru was trying to get out a second pup before Kagome and him got together? Before they could _ sleep _ together? “You-you’re actually, purposefully summoning me here to _ make sure Kagome and I don’t have sex?!” _ He asked in a mix of shock and anger. He wanted to ask Sesshomaru how he even knew they hadn’t _ already _ been together but quickly caught himself. There was no point in pissing off Sesshomaru even more, especially since they _ hadn’t _ done anything yet. They weren’t even ‘official’ as Kagome put it. 

But at least that answered Inuyasha’s question about what, exactly, this was all about. 

“You know what? Screw you.” He said, grabbing at the clothes he had removed when he had arrived in Sesshomaru’s rooms and pulled them back on. “I’m not in the mood and I don’t care about my fucking obligation to you or the throne or whatever the fuck you want to call it. I’m going!” 

Sesshomaru didn’t respond nor did he stop him from storming out of the room. Inuyasha was tempted to go straight to Kagome’s room after everything but only just held back. It was one thing to make Sesshomaru’s life hell and another to purposely give him a reason to want to kill him and all his friends again. 

\--------------

The pup awoke after Inuyasha stormed out, whimpering and crying as Sesshomaru took them in his arms. It would seem his plan to keep Inuyasha away from the Miko hasn’t worked, but he had already known it was a fool's errand, after all they were already living in that human village together and would only be in this palace for a few more days. Inuyasha had already built them a hut to live in, though if Rin was to be believed the woman was living with her in the old Miko’s hut instead. That did little to alleviate the situation though after all that hut was a promise for things to come even if they had not come to pass already. 

There was an added level of disgust, too, to thinking of even the possibility of Inuyasha taking that woman to his bed within Sesshomaru’s own palace and with their pup just a few halls away. It drew his anger and hatred up and he had to force them back down. To remind himself that this had been expected and that he had other plans for this situation.

He pet gently at _ his _ pup’s fur as he calmed them down and reminded himself that Inuyasha had chosen. He could have stayed, he could have done the honorable thing, the _ proper _ thing, and promised Sesshomaru that he wouldn’t go with that woman until a second child was born, but instead, he had chosen to storm out and leave before even considering what he was doing. And what he had done was chose _ her _ over his obligations and, as such, left Sesshomaru with only one option left: completely removing Inuyasha from his life.

He could only hope that their time together the night before would bear fruit so that he could fully cut Inuyasha from his side and quickly as possible.

————

Inuyasha noticed how drastically things changed for him the next morning almost Immediately. He had been left to sleep long past sun-rise, his own friends not even waking him, and knew that such an act had to be purposeful. The consequence of it was that he missed breakfast, missed everything that might have been said and, more importantly, left his friends alone with his brother or his mother-in-law.

He had been left after that realization feeling like he was walking on eggshells, just _ waiting _ to hear that either of them had spilled the beans, that his friends _ knew. _ He had been sure before that Sesshomaru had been willing to keep their marriage secret, but now? After he had pissed him off last night? He doubted his brother was in the mood to be _ kind. _

It didn’t stop there either, oh no. As the days went on Sesshomaru kept the pup at a distance at all times. Often leaving the pup in his mother’s care - his _ mother! - _when he was forced to interact with Inuyasha. And the time the pup was around? It was only ever in a completely formal setting when the whole group of humans were around, including Rin, meaning that Inuyasha didn’t get a chance to actually interact with or get close to the pup. He was no longer allowed time alone with the pup and Sesshomaru was no longer inviting him to his rooms at night. And as the days of their visit drew on and on he found himself more and more agitated at that fact.

His mood wasn’t helped by the fact that his friends seemed to become increasingly emboldened as the days went on, asking Sesshomaru a slew of questions about his ‘missing wife’. Inuyasha had hoped that Sesshomaru would have simply ignored the question but he was obviously not that lucky or his brother was simply _ that _ pissed about Inuyasha’s rejection that he decided to actually acknowledge the humans he would typically ignore and _ answer _.

And oh, how every answer pissed him off more and more. 

“Is your wife still in the palace?” His friends would ask and Sesshomaru would answer: “My spouse has fulfilled their obligation to me and the throne. They are under no obligation to assist me in raising the pup.”

“Do they not want to help?” Kagome would ask later when the opportunity arose again, and again, Sesshomaru would answer: “They do not wish to be part of the raising of my pup. They have other individuals for who they prefer to spend their time,” 

“I cannot imagine it is easy to raise a child, or even a puppy, all alone.” Miroku would later try conversationally, “surely your wife would be willing to help at least in these early days?” And still, Sesshomaru would answer: “they have a life they prefer to the one here with me and our pup. They have chosen that life over our offspring”

Each and every answer he had to hear from Sesshomaru’s mouth, spoken in such an ice-cold factual monotone, cut deeper and deeper into his heart. It pissed him off to know that every answer was about him, that every answer was directed at him. And it hurt, worse, knowing full well that every answer was true because Sesshomaru did not _ lie _. 

And ya, the answers were true to a point. If he had to pick between his brother and his friends, the people he considered his _ real _ family then it wasn’t even a competition, he would obviously pick his friends. But did Sesshomaru have to be such a prick about the whole thing?! It wasn’t like Sesshomaru actually _ wanted _ him around anymore then Inuyasha wanted to be around! And anyway who the fuck did Sesshomaru think he was painting him as someone that wanted nothing to do with their own kid!? He hadn’t even asked! And, hell, He was here wasn’t he!? _ He _ had asked to come and see the kid, hadn’t he!?

But, No. Wait. He hadn’t, had he. _ Myoga _ had brought the idea of a visit up in the first place and his _ friends _ had decided to come. He hadn’t been involved in that decision at all, not really. In fact hadn’t he been thinking about how he didn’t want to come and see the kid? Sure the thought had been to spite Sesshomaru but...but he had thought it hadn’t he? Still his point still stood! Sesshomaru hadn’t exactly asked if he wanted to be involved with raising his own damn kid! 

But then did that mean that he _ did _ want to take part in raising the kid? And what would that even mean if he did? Would he have to come and live here with Sesshomaru? Would he have to give up his life at Kaede’s village? Give up his life with his friends? His future with Kagome? There was no way Sesshomaru would let the kid be raised in a human village and, on top of that, how would he explain it to his friends? There was no way that he could help raise the kid without admitting something.

He deflated. All of this had taken to keeping him up pacing his guest room late into the night every night - and _ no _ he wasn’t waiting for a potential summons from Sesshomaru! - and after days and days of letting the emotions, the uncertainty, the questions run through his head he had to admit to himself that maybe… maybe Sesshomaru was right to keep the kid at a distance from him. It still hurt, thinking he might have to give up his kid for his friends but what choice did he really have? He was finding that he wanted more and more to be part of the kid’s life but there was just no way that he could think of doing so without losing the one family he had and cared about. So the distance was a good thing. A needed thing, something that would keep him from getting attached to the kid just as it kept the kid from getting attached to him. It was a _ good thing. _

At least that was what he tried to tell himself as he went to sleep, alone again, the night before they were due to leave. Unsurprisingly it didn’t seem to help.

————

“As entertaining as this has all been, do you think it is wise?” His mother asked as she lounged across from him in her rooms as his pup explored the vast comforts found within, noise to the floor, in search of new activities.

“I believe it is wiser than the alternative. Inuyasha cannot be allowed to take part in my child’s life.” Sesshomaru insisted and his mother simply hummed, taking a slow drink of her wine. 

“I suppose I simply don’t understand why you care so much.” She stated “his ‘friends’ as he calls them are simply human. _ You _ have your own little human running around too. I hardly see how him keeping his little pets is any different.”

“No. I know that you do not, nor do I think the tedious job of trying to explain it to you is worth the effort.” He instead, staring her down as she smirked at him knowingly.

“What you mean is that you do not fully know yourself.” 

He did not believe her words warranted an answer so he simply stayed quiet, watching her. 

She chuckled after a moment, drinking more of her wine and turning her attention to her grandchild who was nosing into one of the ornate vases in the room. 

“I will not fight you on this Sesshomaru. So long as the pup stays alive and in good health then I will not question how you choose to raise her but know this. If this little _ spat _ of yours with Inuyasha gets out I will not be there to assist you in the inevitable fall out.” She said, before turning her sharp gaze on Sesshomaru himself, “nor will I help you when your child grows to resent you for keeping her from her father.” With that she downed the rest of her wine and waved her hand, indicating that Sesshomaru was dismissed. He almost protested, questions raising to his mind at his mother’s words and wondering if she was speaking from experience. But a dismissal from the Lady of the West was a dismissal and she would speak no other words, not even to her son.

Sesshomaru called Gengetsu to him and left. His mother was right, the way he chose to raise his pup was none of her concern and he would not allow her passive-aggressive attitude to influence him.

————

Inuyasha was fuming as their last day at the palace came to a close and they were escorted out of the palace gates. Something about that day had set him off he knew it. His mind was filled with so much anger by the end that he could hardly contain it. Sure he had been feeling a swirl of emotion the whole trip but this last day...this last day seemed to bring them _ all _ to the surface. 

Perhaps it was because he had realized as they all stood at the palace gate facing Sesshomaru and the pup that that moment could very well have been the last time he saw his pup as a father. It could be the only time he actually got to say _ goodbye _ to them as a father and he had been barred from it. His friends had been there, his _ family _ had been there. The humans he knew he had chosen over this pup had been there so he couldn’t say a proper goodbye. Sesshomaru hadn’t let him. Hadn’t given him that courtesy and he knew he would never be given another chance. Not at this.

It still ate away at him that Sesshomaru hadn’t _ once _ let him spend time with his pup or himself without his friends in tow after the first two nights. That every instance of interaction had been with his friends over his shoulder interacting with the pup too. It had ensured that he couldn’t even interact with the pup as anything but _ uncle _ without his friends overhearing and it was pretty damn obvious that Sesshomaru was doing it on purpose. He could have sworn the bastard didn’t _ want _the pup to know or remember that Inuyasha was their father and that alone pissed him more than anything. 

What was Sesshomaru planning? To lie to the kid, _ all of their kids _ and say that their other parent was dead? As if the council would even allow that! So what? was he going to try to completely erase Inuyasha from their lives outside of the yearly celebration of the moon? Would he erase their _ hanyou _ half? Hide the fact that they had _ human blood _ in them? Or maybe he would tell them all those _ oh so wonderful _answers that Sesshomaru had spewed to his friends every time they asked after his ‘wife’! 

And honestly where did the bastard get off anyway!? Ya, the kids were an obligation but _fuck him _if he wanted to actually get to know that kid! And ya, maybe it hadn’t really hit him how much he wanted to until he was kept from doing so but _damn it _he was thinking about it now! Thinking about how ya _actually_ he wanted to be at least a small part of the kid’s life even if it was only them knowing that he was the father! 

But no. Of course not. Of course Sesshomaru had to go and tell literally everyone within hearing distance that his ‘wife’ didn’t want anything to do with the kid without _ even asking him! _

And that didn’t even get into the fact that he knew Sesshomaru would be back to demand another kid from him if their one night together during his visit didn’t stick. And like _ hell, _ he was going to do that knowing full well that Sesshomaru would just do the same thing with that kid! That he would keep him from them too! And, hell! Probably Not even fucking tell him _ that _ the kid had been born either!

He had to learn about this one form _ Myoga! Myoga! _

And he still didn’t know if his kid had a human night. _ Fuck! _

“Inuyasha?” Kagome’s voice broke through his thoughts, “You seem really upset, did Sesshomaru do something?” She asked softly and Inuyasha realized just how much he was fuming as the made their way out of the forest surrounding the palace they had left behind just a few hours before. He didn’t feel like calming down though, he was livid and he wanted to seep in it damn it!

“I’m just pissed at what a prick he is being!” he finally yelled which seemed to startle his friends which only moved to piss him off even more. “Oh come on I _ know _ you guys noticed it! You were going off about the fact that his wife wasn’t around the whole time! Do you wonder why that is? It’s because the bastard is apparently trying to cut the kids other parent out of their entire life! What the hell is wrong with him!?” he hissed, only just remembering to keep from admitting just who the other parent was. 

“Well Sesshomaru did say that the other parent was simply fulfilling their obligation. I had assumed that meant that she had simply dumped the kid on him. At least that was the impression I got.” Sango answered looking genuinely thoughtful in the face of Inuyasha’s outburst.

“And you did say that they hated each other,” Kagome added, nodding in agreement with Sango’s words.

“He was a very attentive parent” Miroku added, finishing the thought for all of them “and it certainly seemed like he was doing most of the care alone. I was also under the assumption that she had simply left the child, sorry puppy, with Sesshomaru after the child was born.” Then, after a short pause he asked, a little softer and kinder “Do you know something about this that we don’t Inuyasha?”

Inuyasha stared at them for a long time, trying to get himself to calm down, trying to keep himself from lashing out at them for Sesshomaru’s actions and, after a long moment and a deep sigh he managed to turn away from them and mumble a “Forget it. It’s nothing.”

“Inuyasha.” Kagome tried in her voice that said she was worried and really just wanted to help, but if she wasn’t allowed to help then she was going to get angry _ too _.

“I said forget it Kagome!” he yelled before she could start, his mind swirling too much and hating how easily Sesshomaru had managed to turn his friends against him. Only they had no idea that it was _ him _ they had been turned against. He turned away from them and took off. What he needed was space and he certainly wasn’t getting that with them.

He hadn’t been able to say goodbye and it hurt. It hurt so much more than he ever expected it to. It hurt and he had _ nobody _ to confide in. It _ hurt. _

He wondered if it would ever stop hurting, but he had the feeling he already knew the answer and it was: no. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who is enjoying this story! We will actually see the two idiots make some progress on being actual parents next chapter I promise! you got to break things before you can fix them after all~ 
> 
> as always I have a twitter and tumblr under the same name as here (redalgaebloom) if you want to chat!


	6. Totosai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Inuyasha learns some very important things about himself and Sesshomaru.

### CHAPTER 6: Totosai

Inuyasha and his group had left after only a week of residence but the forest palace had grown on Sesshomaru and so he chose to take up a semi-permanent residence. As much as he hated to admit it his nomadic life wasn’t ideal for a pup, especially one that was not even a year old yet. Rin had made him acutely aware of just how weak young ones were, and even though Gengetsu was a demon (mostly) they were still too young to defend themselves.

So here he was, stuck in one place. Still he had to admit this palace was far better than the sky palace that his mother resided in, at least it gave him the illusion of wandering. The staff had gotten used to him sleeping outside in the gardens or vanishing into the forests for long periods of time, always taking his pup with him. He was upset to find that he had failed to conceive again knowing that it once again complicated his situation regarding Inuyasha, but he found himself focusing instead on his firstborn, giving them as much attention as he could and slowly introducing them to killing. They were too young to hunt themselves, but it would help them to watch Sesshomaru and become used to the act. Most often he found himself killing game - returning the animals to the earth where the trees would but use to their corpses - rather than going to find true battles to fight but it served the needed purpose nonetheless.

Though thinking of food - He found himself worried as his pup kept feeding from him long after he was certain they were supposed to stop. It eventually forced him to write to his mother for advice. It was getting on a year by now, surely the pup should have switched to moonbeams? He often tried to guide his pup under the moon’s light but it was impossible to tell if his child was eating or not and he was terrified to stop feeding them should they starve.

Inuyouki could, of course, eat meat but outside of battle Sesshomaru had never attempted to do so and did not know if such a scrawny meal was able to sustain him or his pup. He cringed at the thought of even trying. His mother was also little help. _ ‘Your father would enjoy the occasional cow and I’ve certainly made a snack of humans before but beyond a small treat I can’t say that anything was ever filling.’ _ She had written _ ‘Of course there are lesser demons that consume meat - though none that descended from the celestials. Perhaps you should just try feeding her some meat, she is still small enough that a deer should be filling I imagine. Or perhaps write to Inuyasha, he knows what to feed her.’ _

Sesshomaru hated the thought of asking Inuyasha but eventually his worry for his own pup won out against his need to keep the child's other parent distant. He wrote to him and sent the letter with Jaken, trusting no one else to take it. The reply he got back the next week was...unexpected and he had to wonder who Inuyasha had gotten to write it since he was almost certain that Inuyasha’s writing skills were not this strong. Perhaps Myoga had been around to do so for him. The handwriting was certainly familiar enough though the response read as if the person transcribing had simply written every word Inuyasha had spoken.

_ ‘You eat what?! What the fuck Sesshomaru?! I eat food, you know, real ass food! _The letter started which, under most other circumstances Sesshomaru might have found amusing but right now only found irritating. “Food” was hardly descriptive enough to tell him what might be safe to feed his child.

_ ‘But, well, Sango often chews up food for her kids before feeding it to them. You know, soft things since human kids usually don’t have teeth yet. Um, does the pup have teeth already?’ _\- they did. Though they were small and hardly fit for any real damage just yet. Would they be enough for them to eat with? He didn’t know.

_ ‘Also Sango says that she breastfed her kids for almost two years. Don’t worry I didn’t say why you needed to know, just that your mom is a bitch and is probably enjoying watching you struggle with figuring out all this shit on your own.’ _

Sesshomaru almost smiled at that. Almost.

‘_ Which reminds me:’ _ and if written word could sound hesitant this would be it. It was enough of a tonal change to make Sesshomaru pay a little more attention ‘ _ does the kid have a human transformation? I can’t really imagine how that would go if they did, especially so young and with them being a puppy. I obviously don’t remember mine at that age but even now they aren’t exactly fun. I’m just curious how much of the, you know, hanyou curse the kids got to deal with. I really hope it’s not much.’ _

Sesshomaru frowned at that, his humor dissipating fast at the question. He had forgotten about that, forgotten that Inuyasha transformed once a month. His own child did not. For all intents and purposes his child seemed to be a full demon. But that brought up another worry: would his pup be able to ultimately control their demon blood? Or, like Inuyasha, was there a risk that the child would lose themself to it one day?

He hadn’t thought about it until now, but he could feel the fear and worry of _ that _ creeping in alongside his worry regarding the pups food. It was a distant worry, but perhaps it was time for a trip to Totosai. After all his own father had obviously planned for Inuyasha’s eventual loss of control before he had even been _ born. _The thought still stung but he could not avoid the problem if it meant assuring his pups continued sanity. 

_ ‘Anyway I wanted to know if I could visit again?’ _ The letter went on and Sesshomaru’s frown only deepened ‘ _ Maybe soon? This time without everyone else. We should probably chat and I, hell Sesshomaru I know you probably don’t want me in the kids life - I got that message loud and clear alright- but we really didn’t get a chance to talk about it and we both know its not going to be as simple as me ‘never coming around’. You’re mom and the counsel have never been that nice to us. And, well, I’m starting to figure out that talking can help with this shit. So, please? I don’t know if you are expecting again but...ya. _

_ Inuyasha.’ _

Sesshomaru sighed and slumped back from where he sat, an idle hand running through his pups hair as he thought. He wasn’t expecting again which meant that, no matter what, he _ would _ need to see Inuyasha again, and the sooner really was better. The last part of Inuyasha’s letter did worry him though: his brother had never been much of a ‘talking’ kind of guy, neither of them had. They both preferred their fists and swords but he also had to admit a lot had changed over the last few years since Naraku, for both of them. Inuyasha had certainly been more...talkative those last few battles and had honestly seemed _ protective _of Sesshomaru in a way, though he knew part of that was the guilt he felt over taking the Meido Zangetsuha from him. Not that he had needed Inuyasha worry but it had been there. Then there had been their final true battle against each other...

It all indicated that Inuyasha might be sincere in his request and while Sesshomaru was tempted to reject it - after all he _ had _ already made the choice to cut Inuyasha from his child’s life - he knew being pragmatic about it had the potential to be beneficial. After all: if he got Inuyasha to see his side of things then it would certainly make their necessary further interaction more tolerable. Inuyasha had been right after all: His mother and the counsel _ wouldn’t _ let him fully cut Inuyasha out, at the very least his presence would be required for ceremonial events. And beyond that he still needed that second pup. If Inuyasha wanted to talk then Sesshomaru would give him the opportunity to talk.

He stood up, nudging Gengetsu to wake them up so they could return to the palace - as the pup was getting a little too big to comfortably carry without his own transformation - and started to draft up a return letter in his mind as they made their way back.

———-

Inuyasha hadn’t been entirely sure that Sesshomaru would even reply to the letter he had sent so it was a surprise when Sesshomaru’s little kappa came by to drop one off, looking as annoyed as ever for having to interact with Inuyasha at all. The feelings were mutual so thankfully he didn’t stick around long enough to actually watch Inuyasha open the letter or to wait for a response. It made Inuyahsa a little nervous - if Jaken wasn’t waiting for an answer did that mean that Sesshomaru had rejected his request? He knew it was a possibility, a high one, and so it _ shouldn’t _have hurt but it still did. 

He had attempted to convey in his letter to Sesshomaru that he was honestly willing to _ try _ and work something out between them. He had had plenty of time to think about it after all - between leaving the palace and his pup and Sesshomaru’s letter - and he _ had _ actually taken the time to do so. Sure it had taken a bit of coaxing from him friends to ‘think about why he was so upset’ and to ‘maybe try and think of a way to sort things out with Sesshomaru’ since they could definitely tell he wasn’t happy and his brother was, once again, the cause. They hadn’t _ needed _ to know the details it turned out to guilt-trip him into ‘meditating’ on what his problem was.

And damn it if it hadn’t actually helped - which he both hated and appreciated his friends for. He could tell that they would have liked him to confide in them as he was sorting through the whole mess but he hadn’t. Couldn’t really. Sango and Miroku had been respectful of his silence on the issue but Kagome...well she tried to pretend she was okay with it but he could tell that there was still a level of annoyance at him keeping secrets from her. 

He knew he shouldn’t, after all _ she _ was kind of at the center of the whole issue in the first place. He hadn’t exactly forgotten about that fact that his nights alone with his pup and Sesshomaru had only existed as a way to keep him away from Kagome, and he _ also _ hadn’t forgotten that he had chosen her, even if they weren’t even together yet, over those nights. So really she deserved to know something, but In his time thinking he had realized that it wasn’t really _ her _ that he needed to talk to first anyway. Who he needed to talk to was Sesshomaru and, ya, maybe he also realized in the process of _ thinking about it _ that he also _ really _wanted to punch his dumb ass brother in the face but talking was probably far more important - if a shit tone more work.

With a deep breath he opened his brother’s letter and began to read.

_ ‘Inuyasha, _

_ I intend to travel to see Totosai within the week,should you wish you can meet me there. The pup will accompany me so you might have time to spend with them. I will be severely disappointed if you bring anyone else. _

_ I am not expecting another pup. Perhaps that is something we can remedy when we see each other next. _

_ Sesshomaru _

_ PS: it did not escape my notice that you failed to answer my question fully regarding foods that can be fed to pups. Expect that we will talk about that too upon our meeting.’ _

It was more than Inuyasha had expected honestly and it wasn’t a flat out rejection like he had expected. It meant that he would be able to get that talk with Sesshomaru, and ya maybe also punch him in the face. And, well if things did eventually go badly he might be able to get a proper goodbye with his kid and some not-too-terrible ‘obligatory events’ thrown in the mix. So he wasn’t about to miss this chance and he wasn’t stupid enough to think that it would come a second time.

With that thought he leapt from the tree he had been lounging in and headed back to the village. He couldn’t just vanish any more like he used to but he would also need to be careful about just what he told his friends about his upcoming ‘trip’. The last thing he wanted was to ruin this one chance by having his friends deciding to follow along. He was confident he could think of something though: he would have to.

He also needed to think of exactly what he needed to _ talk _ to Sesshomaru about now that he was going to get the chance. Kaede always insisted that _ lists _ helped her keep her thoughts in order and while Inuyasha wasn’t about to start writing these things down, maybe a mental one wasn’t such a bad idea, at least that way he would know what to yell at Sesshomaru first.

—————-

By the time Sesshomaru arrived at Totosai’s Inuyasha was already there. He was honestly surprised but he figured that perhaps his brother had been worried he would miss his chance to spend time with the pup if he showed up late. Either way he seemed to perk up as Sesshomaru landed, pup at his side as always, and made his way over. “Hey.” He said in greeting before kneeling in front of Gengetsu and holding out a hand to them. “Hey pup, long time no see. Papa’s missed you.” He smiled, moving to pet the pup who seemed to hesitate before allowing it.

“Papa?” Sesshomaru asked, a mix of surprise and annoyance in his voice as Inuyasha glared up at him. 

“Shut it. I’m not putting up with being called something are pretentious as ‘father’. besides, kid deserves to know who their other parent is. It’s not exactly something we’re going to be able to hide from them in the long run” He huffed and Sesshomaru rose a brow at him. 

“Do you think I am hiding such information from them?”

“Gee I don’t know Sesshomaru!” Inuyasha said, voice rising as he got back to his feet. Obviously something Sesshomaru had just said had sat badly with him, “You sure as Hell went to some extreme lengths to make sure no one even mumbled a word of it when I last saw you!” Inuyasha all but growled, causing their pup to whimper and back away slightly. Inuyasha looked at the pup apologetically and obviously tried to calm himself down to them to coax them out from where they had crouched down behind Sesshomaru’s legs - something that didn’t help hide them at all seeing as they were far too big to hide behind them anymore. 

“I thought you would appreciate my choosing to be discreet in regards to the pups parentage as it was obvious you had yet to tell the humans in your party that the pup was yours.” Sesshomaru bit right back, his voice sounding mostly calm, though there was a slight edge to it. It seemed their ‘talk’ was to start right away then.

“It’s not just that!” Inuyasha yelled again, poking a finger against Sesshomaru’s chest angrily as their pup whimpered once more, obviously forgetting that he had been trying just moments ago to not upset the pup. Sesshomaru’s hand moved down to pet and comfort them while his other moved to grasp Inuyasha’s wrist in warning - a warning he did not heed as he went on. “It’s the whole thing surrounding the pup alright! First you barely even tell me you're expecting and then never once drop by to visit me during it-“

“I visited your village plenty of times while I was carrying-“ Seshomaru tried to cut in but Inuyasha wouldn’t let him.

“No you visited _ Rin! _ And if you happened to see me then great! Except I only got a glancing look and maybe an ‘Inuyasha’ in greeting. No updates, no information, Hell! I didn’t even know how long you were going to be carrying for! Obviously it wasn’t nine months like humans because _ I _was counting! Not that you would have cared or apparently even told me!”

“Why would I have told you such things?” Sesshomaru bristled, baring his teeth at the thought. “What business were they of yours at all? You did your duty to me by impregnating me - why would I then involve you in the process? Did you truly expect me to let you be present for the _ birth _?” He asked, indignant as he threw Inuyasha’s hand away from him in anger, though it didn’t seem to throw Inuyasha off balance at all. His anger was becoming a physical thing, burning in the air but Sesshomaru’s was building too too match. 

“I mean _ ya Sesshomaru! _ ” Inuyasha pushed on “because that’s what dad’s fucking _ do _ ! They show for their kids birth alright?! And if you hated the thought of that so much then you could have at least brought the pup to see me yourself! Or-or anything but me having to find out almost five months later from _ Myoga _ of all people!” Inuyasha yelled “Five months! I even had to find out my own kids damn _ age _ from your _ mother! _ I- damn it Sesshomaru!” And that hand was back, grabbing at his armor this time and angrily pulling him forward “You didn’t tell me shit! You didn’t evne give me the fucking _ option _ of being a part of my _ own damn kids life!” _

There was a cough to their left and both turned to see Totosai watching them from what he probably assumed was a safe distance away. “As entertaining as this little family feud is, does it have to take place in my front yard?”

“Totosai,” Sesshomaru greeted while Inuyasha growled out an annoyed “old man”. He seemed pissed at the interruption and looked like he was getting ready to drive Totosai off but Sesshomaru didn’t let him. He pushed through Inuyasha hold on his armor like it was nothing and moved towards the black-smith, his pup keeping so close to him - head and tail down and whimpering in fear - that they continuously bumped against his side. Inuyasha and his _ talk _ would be put on hold for more important matters. “I have a job for you. A sword, like Tenseiga.”

“What?” Totosai asked, scratching his head and glancing at Sesshomaru’s hip where both his swords rested, obviously confused, “Are we back on that all over again? What happened to bakusaiga?”

“I am not asking _ for _ Tenseiga, I am asking for a sword like it. My pup-“ he glanced back at Inuyasha as he heard his brothers knuckles crack, his choice of words obviously hit a sore spot. “Is a quarter human and, as of yet I do not know what that means.” He caught Inuyasha’s eye as he went on, “I do not know if their human blood will mean they will eventually suffer the same weaknesses Inuyasha does, if they are threatened with one day losing themselves to their demon blood.” He turned back to look at Totosai who was giving him a curious look. “I need a sword that can seal their Dominic energy if the need ever arises.”

“Well…” Totosai seemed to think for a moment, as he rubbed at his chin “Alright, But I'm going to need a fang from both of you.”

“What?!” Inuyasha yelled, finally stepping forward, glaring at Totosai, “what is with you and stealing my teeth old man?! Like hell im-AGH!” He wasn’t given another moment to complain as Sesshomaru’s hand shot out and quickly yanked a fang free, doing the same to one of his own so Totosai wouldn’t put any of his instruments near his perfect mouth. He tossed the two fangs over and watched the sword smith catch them, fumbling only slightly. “We will be camping nearby. You will inform this Sesshomaru as soon as the sword is done.” He turned then to leave, his pup following but Inuyasha was not which made his step falter. As much as he was not looking forward to their continued discussion it was obviously needed, especially after Inuyasha’s last words. “Do you intend to spend the rest of your time here with the old man Inuyasha? I had thought you had come up visit the pup.”

That seemed to finally get Inuyasha moving and they all started to make their way down the mountain towards some tree cover at the base of the volcano Totosai called home. Inuyasha kept his distance for the most part as the pup seemed to become agitated and fearful anytime he got too close. He thought maybe he deserved that after the fight the kid had just witnessed - even if they didn’t understand a word of it. The emotions had certainly been raw enough for the pup to pick up on.

Once they were under tree cover Sesshomaru shifted into his true form and Inuyasha watched in fascination as the pup was fed, Sesshomaru nuzzling them and licking them to encourage them to keep feeding and to help them calm down before the pup finally seemed to drift off to sleep. Still they sat there for a while in silence, Inuyasha with his thoughts and truthfully with a little fear. Talking to Sesshomaru had never been easy but now he was thinking back to what he had yelled in his anger...well it definitely wouldn’t be making the rest of this easier. Why? Why did Sesshomaru always brings out the anger in him? Could he really not manage a single conversation with him brother without it dissolving into a fight? Not to mention that he always ended up saying shit he didn’t mean to when his anger took control. 

He hadn’t meant to say that last sentence, it had just slipped out. What had he been thinking getting angry at Sesshomaru for not _ asking _ if he had wanted to be a part of the kids life? They had an _ arranged marriage _ and Inuyasha had a _ love interest _ . The answer was pretty damn obvious even to him. So why had he even said it? ‘I mean sure’ he thought as he watched his pup sleep, breathing in and out as they nuzzled against Sesshomaru’s true form ‘It would be nice if I could be part of their life. But I can’t so why even think about it? I’ll have other kids with Kagome and it...it will be fine. I don’t need to be part of this kids life. Sesshomaru wouldn’t let me anyway. He probably never planned to let me. That’s why he didn’t tell me anything. That’s why I had to find out from Myoga. But it’s _ fine _. It’s fine.’ he tried to convince himself but his anger from earlier bubbled up again, causing his stomach to churn even as he tried to force it back down. ‘It was FINE.’ he demanded of himself even as his mind, quietly and painfully added:

‘Wasn’t it?’

Sesshomaru shifted back eventually. Inuyasha had lost track of time in his own mind and only Sesshomaru’s movements brought him back. He stared as he watched his brother become his human form again. Watched as he removed his pelt and placing it around the pups head to keep them content. Watched as armor was carefully and slowly removed and put aside before turning to Inuyasha and their eyes caught on one another. His thoughts flew out of his mind in that moment, his body frozen and pinned under his gaze, at least until Sesshomaru approached, movements oddly slow though lacking none of his signature confidence, before coming to rest before him. 

He knew where this was going by now. He wasn’t an idiot and Sesshomaru had told him in the letter that he had failed to conceive. He really shouldn’t have been surprised by this development, but after their last time, and after their _ talk _ this afternoon Inuyasha felt the oddly strong need to reassure him for some reason. “I haven’t touched her or anyone else. I promise.” He heard his voice, though it hadn’t sounded like his own for how soft and almost comforting it sounded. He felt like an idiot for saying it once it was out - It was meant to be a small reassurance given their last attempted night together. It felt lacking now though. A ‘yet’ hanging heavy in the air within that sentence that they _ both _ knew existed. An unspoken knowledge that his words would not be true forever. He knew it bothered Sesshomaru, thought he couldn’t understand why. Neither of them really wanted the other. Neither of them wanted this marriage or these obligations so why would it bother Sesshomaru so much? It was just another thing on his list of stuff to ‘talk’ about.

Still, his words didn’t seem to be enough to put Sesshomaru off of his chosen path for the night and soon he found himself slipping out of his clothes and joining Sesshomaru of the forest floor. 

The sex could not last forever though and soon enough they both found themselves laying side by side trying to think about how to approach the next ill-fated topic of discussion.

Inuyasha was the one to eventually talk again, being far more uncomfortable with silence then Sesshomaru ever was. “Do you have a plan for after we’ve had a second kid?” He asked after a moment, his mind going back to his list of things to talk about, to the words of reassurance he had so carelessly given just a little while before. “I take it after two we won’t exactly be doing this again given the whole you hating me thing.”

Sesshomaru didn’t look at him, simply continued to stare up into the canopy above them, but when he did answer it wasn’t what Inuyasha had expected. “My feelings regarding you have improved slightly over the last few years, though my emotions regarding our father have dropped steeply.” His hand clenched slightly on his lap, a move Inuyasha noticed only as he had turned to look at his brother. “But, even before our ill-fated marriage I had wanted a large family. I...always enjoyed puppies. This is nothing new.”

Inuyasha stared. years ago he wouldn’t have believed that for anything but now it was easy to see the truth in it. Sesshomaru had wanted a large family. Sesshomaru might _ still _ want a large family. So what did that mean for him? Would they not be done after just two pups? Myoga had said they would only _ need _ two but if Sesshomaru wanted more...would he insist Inuyasha keep giving them to him? Would he not allow Inuyasha to have his relationship with Kagome like he wanted? Would this just be a more complicated version of that night in the palace where he had called Inuyasha to him simply so he wouldn’t be with _ her? _Did he never plan to let that ‘yet’ become a thing?

Or would Sesshomaru find someone else after their initial two? Did he already have someone in mind? Would _that_ person be allowed to take part in _his_ kids life? And why did the thought of it cause something hard to form in his throat?

“You hated me.” He prompted and Sesshomaru finally turned his blank look towards him. He didn’t know why he said it. It wasn’t the important point here. There were a _ lot _ of important points and Sesshomaru’s hatred of him was already well known so why had he asked that?

It couldn’t be because something in Sesshomaru’s use of the past-tense ‘hated’ gave him hope...could it? Hope for what he did not know but it Sesshomaru’s hatred was in the past then...then _ what? _

His head hurt. 

“Of course I hated you,” Sesshomaru said, ignorant of Inuyasha’s internal struggles “did you honestly expect I wouldn’t have? You are a symbol of everything wrong with our father, all of his faults and failures-“

“Loving humans isn’t a fault!” Inuyasha cut in, trying to hold onto Sesshomaru’s words and the old anger such words brought up to keep him in the present. He sat up, if only to get his body to move, and glared down at Sesshomaru, “I thought you were kinda learning that one you bastard.”

“His feelings regarding humans is not what I’m speaking of.” Sesshomaru pressed on, his eyes narrowing as he shifted onto his elbows to bring their faces closer, “Tell me Inuyasha, did it not seem strange to you that you were born to a human woman while my own mother still lives to this day?”

That made Inuyasha hesitate, his face turning from anger to confusion before glancing away. “I...guess I never really thought about it…” he admitted softly, letting the words anchor him, focus him on the _ now _ as he watched Sesshomaru only barely hold back from baring his teeth.

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t. After all, you were his _ second _ family. The one he _ wanted _ .” And there Came the fangs, flashing a little too close to Inuyasha’s face for comfort. “Tell me Inuyasha, how do you think that revelation feels to a young pup? To find out you were no more than an _ obligation _ and that you were pushed aside for another family, A _ wanted _family!?” Sesshomaru’s true form was peeking through now, his hair rising on end as he pushed up more, causing Inuyasha to stumble and fall back. Sesshomaru didn’t let him escape though, sitting up fully and getting right back into Inuyasha’s space, moving over him this time. 

“I will not allow you to do to my pups what our father did to me! I will not allow you to play at being a parent, to _ practice _on them only to abandon them for any child that Miko gives you!”

“Sesshomaru-“ Inuyasha tried to cut in but Sesshomaru pressed on, unwilling to hear it. This conversation had taken a turn that Inuyasha hadn’t been expecting - though that shockingly mirrored his own thoughts, and it left him off balance far more than his brothers anger, an echo of his own emotions that he had just moments before realized even existed. Sesshomaru no more wanted another person in his children's life then Inuyasha did, only from Sesshomaru’s perspective there was _ already _ someone infringing on their child's existence. 

_ Kagome _ Inuyasha’s mind supplied and suddenly the thought of her was juxtaposed on top of Inuyasha's own surprising and unexpected emotions at the thought of another person taking his place at Sesshomaru’s side as their child's _ other _ parent while he was pushed aside an unimportant. As nothing more than a means to fulfill an _ obligation_ but fully unwanted after.

“I will not _ stand _ for my children to be treated as he treated me!” Sesshomaru yelled his eyes blood red. Off to the side their pup started to whine, obviously feeling its parents distress even in their sleep. They both fell silent, though Inuyasha had already been deathly still under Sesshomaru’s all-encompassing anger. Eventually Sesshomaru did pull back, his anger still simmering though back under his careful mask as he moved away from inuyasha, putting distance between them as he did so. 

“Leave.” He said, voice sounding raw in a way that Inuyasha had never heard before “This conversation is over and be grateful I let you near my pup at all.” 

Inuyasha seemed to hesitate, opening his mouth as if to argue but as Sesshomaru bared his teeth at him again he decided not to push and was gone into the forest the next moment just catching as Sesshomaru moved closer to their pup and curled around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always you can find me on tumblr and twitter under the same name I have here!


	7. A Compromise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a lot of advice is given by very old men.

### CHAPTER 7: A Compromise

Inuyasha knew that Sesshomaru probably meant for him to go back to the village but his words rang painfully in his ears. He could hear the truth to them in Sesshomaru’s voice, or at least that he believed them to be true, but there was a part of him that still cling to the image of his father that his mother had painted. A great and powerful demon that was still so full of love and compassion where his kin were not. It was hard to put the two images together. Thankfully there was someone who knew his father and that could answer his questions just up the volcano. 

Totosai gave him an unimpressed look as he arrived but didn’t slow his hammering. “You know it takes more than a few hours to make a sword right? You young ones have no patience for craftsmanship.”

“Shut it old man, I’m not here for that.” Inuyasha answered with surprisingly little heat in his voice, his conversation with Sesshomaru having drained him of his anger, he tried to sit only to find himself too agitated to do so and sprung back up to start pacing instead. “I need to ask you about my old man.”

“Toga?” Totosai seemed to look genuinely curious at that before his face fell slightly as that got him to stop working, “Well...Alright I suppose. What do ya want to know?”

“His relationship with Sesshomaru,” he started and paused, trying to think of how to word it. “Was...did he...did he love him?” Inuyasha finally asked, not sure if that was good enough but figuring bluntness usually got him pretty far. 

Totosai’s expression did a number of things at the question, many of which Inuyasha had trouble reading but made Inuyasha more and more nervous that what Sesshomaru had said was actually true. “I’ve got a feeling this is about your new pup and well-“ Totosai hesitated again, tugging on his beard lightly “he did. No one would have really questioned his love for his firstborn but I won’t lie to you, it was a little different to...to, well, _ you.” _ He glanced over at Inuyasha who had sat to listen “with Sesshomaru it was...I suppose an obligation to the throne. He was requested by the Lady of the West to give her a child, a great honor for sure, and he not only did so but did so happily. He was, of course, excited when the pup was born, after all they had been trying for a thousand years, and he certainly doted on his newborn. As Sesshomaru grew he took over most of his training and care, far more then the Lady of the West that’s for sure. But…” Totosai shook his head closing his eyes for a moment “there was nothing _ wrong _ with how Toga treated Sesshomaru. He was a good parent. He took care of him, trained him, made sure he was ready for the world. If it had ended at that then no one would have questioned it.”

“But something happened?” Inuyasha prompted, wondering exactly what Toga could have done until it hit him, exactly what Sesshomaru had said and Totosai’s words confirmed it:

“_You_ happened. He...made plans for you. With Sesshomaru he was content with just letting him exist and grow on his own, but with _you-“ _Totosai sighed “He was a bundle of nervous and excited energy, considered you his greatest blessing, and he made _plans _for you. He had Tessaiga forged specifically for you, and Tenseiga soon after to protect you and your mother.”

“But Tenseiga is Sesshomaru’s sword.” Inuyasha insisted, even though Sesshomaru hated that sword, it was still _ his. _

Totosai nodded. “But it was not forged for him, it was forged to protect _ you _ and when he requested to the Lady of the West that you two be wed-“

a cold sweat broke out on Inuyasha’s skin at that, and not just because of the continued confirmation that his marriage was his father’s doing, but with a stronger realization that he really didn’t like. “he only gave Sesshomaru the sword because he expected him to need to use it on me.”

Seeing Totosai’s nod hurt more than he liked to admit “it’s a little difficult to use a sword to being yourself back to life when you are dead.” Totosai added softly, almost compassionately, as if the nod hadn’t been enough.

Inuyasha closed his eyes tight and clenched his hands on his lap.

“Does Sesshomaru know?”

“I doubt anyone told him.” Totosai answered, sounding thoughtful again and Inuyasha could hear tools moving around once more, “but he probably suspected, especially after everything with the Mado.”

So that meant their dad had pulled _another_ shit move on both of them through their ‘inharitance’. That brought the count up to three: their marriage, the Mado, and their swords in general. How could they _not_ hate each other after all of that? He’ll! Sesshomaru might hate him again now and any progress they had somehow scraped together these past few years might be back in shambles because of their stupid fathers plots! His father had forced Sesshomaru to marry him so Inuyasha could get his inheritance. Sesshomaru had been given Tenseiga because he was expected to _protect_ Inuyasha and Tenseiga had only been infused with the Medo, its _one _attack, only so that _Sesshomaru _could perfect it and _give it to Inuyasha._ Hell! Sesshomaru had very nearly _died_ because he had taken the _one_ attack their father left to him! He had almost been the cause of his brother’s _death!_

He was _ really _ starting to think his old man wanted Sesshomaru to hate him, and at this point Inuyasha could hardly blame Sesshomaru for it.

What the hell had their father been thinking?

“Did our old man do _ anything _ for him before he croaked?!” Inuyasha asked desperately, opening his eyes once again hoping for any sign that-that-

He wasn’t sure. Just _ something. _

“Well...he likely didn’t feel that he needed to,” Totosai replied, obviously trying to show Inuyasha some semblance of a silver lining. “Sesshomaru was born a royal Inuyokai, heir to the western throne, and even at two-hundred years of age was showing the potential for power greater than Toga himself. He brought Sesshomaru to me when he was still a young pup idealizing his father and I could see the potential in him. Toga had asked about getting a sword forged for him then but I had advised against it. Some of the most powerful demon swords are not forged but created from the pure demonic energy of the wealder. I saw that potentially within Sesshomaru and giving him a different sword would just hinder his ability to get his own true sword.”

“Bakusaiga.” Inuyasha muttered softly, remembering how the sword had been created.

“Yes. Though I admit that my ultimate decision not to create a sword for Sesshomaru led to some...strife between you two,” Totosai went on, “but at the time I hadn’t actually expected Toga to die.”

Inuyasha sighed and rubbed aggressively at his face before scratching and tugging at his ear as he tried to put everything together into a single point. “So what your telling me is that Toga was a ‘good dad’ he just spoiled the shit out of me and left nothing to Sesshomaru - that was actually _ meant _ for Sesshomaru at least - because he assumed Sesshomaru’s inheritance from his ‘immortal out of spite’ mother would give him _ hers _?”

“Well...yes. I suppose that’s a simple way of putting it.” Totosai ribbed the back of his neck as he admitted that, “But you need to remember, you were are hanyou. He knew what to expect with Sesshomaru, with you it was uncharted territory, and very _ dangerous _uncharted territory at that. Toga did have a tendency to over plan…he wanted to make sure you were cared for.”

“And so he tried to force Sesshomaru to do it for him.” Inuyasha growled.

“Ah...well now we’re talking about something different.” Totosai waved his hand as if shooing away their previous conversation “Your marriage to Sesshomaru was for more complicated than him trying to force Sesshomaru to look after you, though I think he had hoped you two would have gotten along -“ Inuyasha snorted but Totosai chose to ignore it “- had he not died I think he would have tried to get you two to do so but no no, your marriage really was a political thing. Toga and the counsel, or at least the council members he trusted, tried to find every way to get you the same titles and protections that he felt you needed and, well...marriage really was the only option. Trust me: he was no more happy about it then any one else. Well...except perhaps the Lady of the West who simply found it to be amusing.”

“It still doesn’t erase the fact that he only did it to keep _ me _ safe and didn’t take _ his first child’s _feelings into consideration at all!” Inuyasha insisted with a huff, the first time his voice had truly risen the whole time, but the heat drained quickly and he finally sat, curling in on himself. He had a lot more to think about then he ever wanted to. He really didn’t feel smart enough for this shit.

“So, you going to tell me what this is about?” Totosai asked, standing to move back to the sword he was forging, the sword he was making to protect Inuyasha’s kid, just like Toga had made Tenseiga for him.

“Sesshomaru doesn’t want me to be involved with the-with my pup.” He said after a moment and he heard Totosai’s hammering falter.

“I...see. Did he tell you why?”

“He said...he said he didn’t want our pup to feel the same way he did when...when our father abandoned him for me.” 

Totosai hummed at that and continued to hammer at the sword. “Do you plan to abandon the pup?”

“No!” He said quickly, a knee jerk reaction before he could catch it. He looked away in embarrassment. “What I mean is...I don’t know. I didn’t...hadn’t really given it much thought until recently.” He admitted with a sigh, feeling a bit like a child as he wrapped his arms around his legs. “I guess I kind of just assumed I would be a part of their life, you know? I didn’t even realize there was an option _ not _ to be.” 

Totosai was silent for a long moment, the sound of hammering being the only thing between them. “And now that you know there are options?” He prompted and Inuyasha only curled up tighter.

“I...I think I want to be involved.” He admitted, out loud, for the first time, his chest hurting with his words “I know the situation between me and Sesshomaru isn’t ideal and, ya, if given an option I would never have married my fucking _ half brother _ but... if we are going to keep having kids together then I...I don’t want to be treated like I’m just some-some breeder…”

Again Totosai’s hammer seemed to pause and the silence drove Inuyasha to finally look up at him to see the surprise written across the old man’s face.

“What?!” Inuyasha asked, agitated.

“You’re planning on having _ more _ kids?!” Totosai asked, obviously surprised by the notion and Inuyasha glared.

“Ya?” Inuyasha asked confused, “We, apparently need at least two which, in case you missed the headcount old man we’ve only got _ one. _ Besides,” Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders “mister high and mighty actually _ likes _ kids and wants a lot.”

Totosai’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he turned to look at the sword he was making “hu...any idea when you’ll be trying for the next one?” He asked and Inuyasha could see the calculation in his eyes. Inuyasha wasn’t too sure he liked it but he figured it was better than the other conversation they had been having and if this had to do with the sword he was making he probably should answer truthfully.

“We’ve already been trying for a second one-“ 

He was cut off by and exclamation of “already?! Your first isn’t even a year old! What are you idiots thinking?!”

“I told you, Sesshomaru said he likes kids-pups- whatever!” Inuyasha said, throwing up his hands and uncurling “He apparently always wanted a big family. Why the hell should we wait when we know we’re going to have more eventually?”

“Most demon wait until their first is at least 50 before trying for a second! Something must be driving him to be wanting to have another this soon.” Totosai have his a critical look, looking him over slowly top to bottom “you’re not dying are you?”

“What?! No!” Inuyasha insisted before pausing “At least not that I’m aware of.” He sniffed himself and didn’t sense anything that smelled like death. “I’m fine. Maybe the bastard just realized he liked being pregnant.” Inuyasha huffed, crossing his arms and glancing away, mostly because he was well aware of the reason Sesshomaru was pushing to have another kid so soon. He glanced back over as the silence continued and his eye twitching as Totosai just kept staring. “You got a problem old man?!”

Totosai finally turned away with a hum, one that spoke volumes that Inuyasha didn’t like, and went back to hammering, “Well if you’re going to be sticking around you might as well be put to good use-“ a bucket flew out, hitting Inuyasha on the head “get some water. I need to do some modifications since, apparently, you two are planning on having a whole army of pups before I die.”

Inuyasha cursed but didn’t correct him as he moved to do as he was told. He didn’t feel like going back to the village yet - he had too much to think about with Sesshomaru without throwing Kagome into the mix - and he really didn’t want to bring up a whole _ other _ topic of discussion in admitting that he wasn’t sure all of Sesshomaru’s future pups would be his. That was a topic for another day.

—————— 

Totosai left his home early the next morning, leaving a sleeping Inuyasha next to the furnace with a note to stay put and watch his stuff: or else.

He hated that he was getting involved in this, after all this mess was hardly _ his _ fault but...well Toga had been a close friend and his sons were still so _ young _. He could hardly remember being their age any more, but he certainly knew that he had made some rash decisions in his mistaken thought that he was ‘old’ back then.

And, well, Toga had certainly made his own mistakes too, ones he was no longer around to fix; which left his sons to sort them out or make them worse and, at the way they were going, it was in the ‘worse’ direction. He knew it would all come to a head eventually, just like it had before when Inuyasha and Sesshomaru finally duked it out for Tessaiga, only this time there would be kids to get into the crossfire. 

He found Sesshomaru’s camp easily enough, especially since the demon had decided to sleep in his true form, likely to keep the pup warm, and Totosai headed down hoping this wasn’t about to go as badly as he thought it would. 

——-

“I’m just saying you could always tell him you know!” He said in frustration after far too long of Sesshomaru simply staring at him unimpressed over his snout, not having bothered to transform into his human-like form when Totosai had landed. “He’s a bit of an idiot. He might not have figured it out.” He prompted, hoping the insult towards Inuyasha might make things go a little smoother. Still, he was hiding behind his cow for a reason, though his cow didn’t seem very happy with the situation themself.

“And What, exactly, am I supposed to _ tell _ him Totosai?” Came the growled response deep from the dogs throat, it was the first actual words he had gotten since starting his little ‘speech’. Next to him his pup whimpered and pressed closer to his side, burying themself almost completely into Sesshomaru’s fur, still upset from being woken so early.

“You know, that you-“ Totosai waved his hand slightly, looking away more in nervousness than anything else. He knew how that sentence was supposed to end, he knew Sesshomaru knew how that sentence was supposed to end, but voicing it felt too far for him to dare.

“That I?” Sesshomaru still prompted though, and oh, he was seething now, demonic energy starting to roll off of him. “That I _ What _ Totosai?” and his voice was more of a growl now, edging towards a bark “That I would order him, if I could, to have no other children but by me for the rest of his life? No matter who he might fall in love with?”

Totosai swallowed nervously and ducked a little more behind his cow. “Y-you know you could always end up falling in love with someone too...” Totosai tried which only earned him an unimpressed hate filled look from Sesshomaru. 

“Okay Ya. You have a point, but still-“

“Totosai,” Sesshomaru cut him off, “I will not make my child suffer as I did at the hands of my half-brother. I will not allow that history to repeat.”

“So you would rather them grow up without him at all?” Totosai tried to reason, voice trembling slightly. “Just look how your mother turned out!” which was probably going a little too far he realized, after all the absence of the Lady of the West’s father had only been part of the issue really.

“I’m certain my grandmother had her own reasons for making the choices she did.” Came Sesshomaru’s biting answer and it looked like Totosai might have hit a sore spot, so much so that it actually got Sesshomaru to finally transform which was far from a good thing. “If my children are not given a chance to know their _ father _ then they cannot get attached. I don’t not _ care _ what Inuyasha said to you. I do not _ care _ about Inuyasha’s emotions regarding the matter. And I certainly do not _ care _if he wants to be involved!” 

Totosai only just held back a sigh at that. He had to wonder if the Lady of the West had talked to her son about this, though he would be honestly surprised if she had. She wasn’t one to let weaknesses show after all. He slumped slightly, seemed like it was a lost cause then, at least on his front unless he really wanted to end up killed. Time pull in the expert.

“Inuyasha mentioned you were already trying for a second pup.” He prompted which had Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowing. The pup, now exposed with Sesshomaru in his human form tried to tug at his tail with their mouth, trying to find warmth once more. 

“Since when are my relationships your problem?” Sesshomaru asked, though some of the bite had left his voice, becoming distracted by his pup which Totosai was thankful for. Seemed the welp had promise then, at least as a distraction. 

“I’ve got to decide how many swords to make for you I need to know. It’s easier to make a handful now at once then to try and replicate what I did,” He explained, thankful to feel the air clear slightly from Sesshomaru’s rage “you know, if your going to be popping out a pup every chance you get!”

Sesshomaru ground his teeth and glared, but he supposed that was a relatively reasonable thing to ask, but it left him with the uncomfortable need to try and calculate just how long he had with Inuyasha before that human’s interference. “Make five. I doubt I will need that many, but I would rather be safe.”

“Well, Alright then.” Totosai rubbed his chin, “Then I’m going to need you to go to Bokuseno and request more of his branches. You are well aware of the protective ability of his wood and I think he would he willing to lend your family five more pieces.” Totosai nodded before clapping his hands. “Well! Off to work!” And vanishing back into the air. 

Sesshomaru sighed and looked at his pup, petting them slowly and carefully before nudging them to full awareness even as the continued to whimper and complain at the intrusion. He had put off a visit to his father’s old friend long enough as it was and he knew Bokuseno would want to see his pup. He _ was _ aware that Totosai was setting him up but...he had to admit that the old trees advice would be welcome.

“Come little one.” He prompted, lifting the ever growing pup into his arms which was an awkward thing at this point even if he did have the strength, and took to the air. “We are going to visit an old friend.”

——————

Bokuseno was happy to see him - that much was obvious - and he was even more excited to see Sesshomaru's new pup. 

“They are beautiful.” He commented, nodding at them as they entered the clearing “I’m sure you are very proud.”

“They are still young, but they are growing fast.” Sesshomaru confirmed, allowing a small smile to appear on his lips as he looked down at his child who had finally awoken enough to be put down. The young pup immediately started to sniff around the new location, exploring the area curiously. “I have no doubt that they will grow to be a powerful demon.”

Bokuseno nodded his approval, his eyes tilted downward to watch the exploring pup. “And have they shown traits of their other blood?” The tree asked, making Sesshomaru hesitate for a moment before answering.

“Only one. They have been feeding far longer than typical and I have taken to feeding them pre-chewed meat along with my milk.” He hated the taste of meat himself, far preferring to avoid any _ earthly _ meals, but he needed to push through his distaste of it for his pup. “I worry that they are unable to take sustenance from the moon. Inu-“ his voice stuttered much to his embarrassment “Inuyasha expressed confusion over finding out that inuyoukai consume moon light which leads me to believe that he is unable to.”

Bokuseno let out a low hum, studying his child for a long moment. “I am afraid that I will be no help to you in this, for I know just as little about caring for young that need to feed in such a way. Perhaps the wolf tribe might be off assistance?”

“It is...not an ideal solution but I suppose it cannot be helped” Sesshomaru conceded to the trees wisdom. Sesshomaru hesitated again, hating how out of his depth he felt in all this but knowing that, of all demons, Bokuseno was one who he could trust and who’s wisdom was unmatched. “I would ask for further advice if you are willing to give it.”

“I will always do my best to help you young one.” The ancient tree assured him and Sesshomaru took a moment to gather his thoughts as he sat himself down before the tree, his pup coming over to lick lightly to his face before moving away again. 

“I...find myself conflicted regarding Inuyasha’s involvement in my-our pups life.” He started carefully,watching as his pup found a grasshopper to chase. Bokuseno was silent as he paused, giving him the time he needed to word things how he wanted. “Before my reluctance would have been driven by my hated for him, for our situation, but I have come to terms with the fact that Inuyasha had just as little control over our fates as I and that he was...is not to blame for our father’s choices.”

The tree let out a contemplative sound at that but Sesshomaru knew he was not trying to cut him off so he continued. “Inuyasha has proven himself in battle, to me and to others and, for that, I know that he deserves at least a small amount of my respect - even if I still find him too strongly driven by emotions - and deserves the respect of our children. His knowledge of hanyou is also something that I admit would be helpful in the future as our children grow but…”

And here Sesshomaru sighed “I can see the past already repeating itself in my child’s life. Inuyasha already has a human woman for whom he loves, a Miko of great power who, too, has shown herself deserving of my respect. If it was not for mine and Inuyasha’s marriage I would have thought little of their potential future union but the thought of him having a child with another…” he trailed off slightly, looking down at his child who was watching him intently and nuzzling against his legs. They had given up their hunt it seemed, Sesshomaru’s tone worrying them and bringing them to his side even though they were too young to understand words. “I do not want the life I had for my children. I do not want them to question which children are more important to their father. They are born from obligation. I do not want them to see how differently a child born from _ love _ is treated.”

“So you think it better that they grow without knowing him instead.” Bokuseno hummed, “an interesting conundrum. And by your words, I take it you do not intend to have any children outside of your marriage?”

“Even if Inuyasha were to die I would not take another. I intend my children to be all be equal to each other, I will not add in such an unknown variable as a child from another coupling.”

“You speak of children, are you already expecting another? Or is there an elder I do not know about.”

Sesshomaru hesitated, hand moving to his stomach. “As of now there is no other that I am aware of but...we have been trying for a second.”

“A little fast don’t you think?” Bokuseno prompted, though there was a hint of teasing in his voice which Sesshomaru chose to ignore.

“Should he have a child with the Miko I will refuse to lay with him again.” he explained instead, giving reason to his speed. 

“Ah. I see. Very well. Please, give me time to think.” The old tree requested, “You and your pup will be safe here until I re-emerge.” Sesshomaru watched as Bokuseno face vanished into the wood before moving to sit instead at the base of the tree, his pup moving into his lap as he curled his tail around them both.

“You will be one soon little pup, I can only hope this is resolved before it can do you real harm.” he sighed, knowing that this situation would need to be resolved before the up was old enough to realize what was going on or remember it.

——————-

Sesshomaru returned to Totosai with a number of Bokuseno large branches in his arms, and Gengetsu at his side. He was only slightly surprised to see Inuyasha there, slunched miserably against one bone-walls. Sesshomaru had expected him to have gone back to the village already. Yet with Bokuseno’s words still fresh in his head and he found himself relieved to see his brother, it would mean he wouldn’t have time to overthink things.

“Totosai, I’ve brought what you requested. Inuyasha, I would speak with you.” He told him as the placed down the wood against the entrance to Totosai’s home, away from Totosai’s fire breath, and turned to leave the house. He could hear Inuyasha grumbling about not being given a choice but he ignored it, knowing Inuyasha would follow. They didn’t go as far this time, just to the edge of Totosai’s land where a patch of grass grew and fireflies were just starting to awaken in the fading sun. The pup had plenty of room to run there and they didn’t have to risk being overheard. Still, they were silent as they sat and for a long while after, the sun fading in front of them. Sesshomaru watching the pup and Inuyasha hesitantly watching Sesshomaru. There was an air around both of them, tense and cautious, both knowing that this conversation was something important.

Finally Sesshomaru spoke, though he didn’t move his gaze from where his pup ran in circles chasing fireflies. “Inuyasha, you are an ally to one of the wolf tribes are you not?” 

Inuyasha was slightly startled by that question, having expected a very different line of conversation but still he answered.“I uh...I mean I guess. They know me at least and I’ve helped them out enough, why?”

“I want you to travel to them and ask after their pups feeding habits.” Sesshomaru ordered more than requested, but there was a lightness to his tone that made Inuyasha think that, somehow, this was Sesshomaru giving him a _ chance. _

“You still worried their not eating enough?” Inuyasha asked, looking to the pup happily running up and down the clearing, scaring up insects into the air to chase.

“Does this surprise you?” Sesshomaru asked softly, “I will always care about my child’s well-being.”

“I mean...I guess now it doesn’t,” Inuyasha conceded as he rubbed the back of his neck “but I will remind you that we _ both _ know how your mom is and you do tend to take after her.” 

Sesshomaru didn’t smile, but it was a close thing, and Inuyasha was happy to feel some of the tension in the air drain. 

“So you will do it?”

“Ya. Of course. No problem. Is...that the only reason you wanted to talk?” He asked, trying not to sound too dejected, especially given the way their last conversation had ended. He really didn’t want to turn that whole thing into ‘something we don’t talk about’. 

Thankfully that seemed to not be the end of what Sesshomaru wanted to talk about as he pushed forward with the opening Inuyasha had given him. “Your friends. I want you to tell them of our marriage and that this child is yours.”

“What?!” Was Inuyasha’s initial reaction as the shock of the request hit him. his mouth hung open as he looked at Sesshomaru like he had grown an extra head. “You-you can’t be serious! Why now?!”

“Why now is because you have a pup that you have said you want as part of your life.” Sesshomaru told him blankly, his voice very carefully controlled. He turned his head finally away from their child to meet Inuyasha’s gaze. “That is to be my Compromise with you:” he explained “if you truly wish to be part of your child’s life then you will _ not _ hide them away like a shame you are afraid will see the light of day. You _ will _ claim this child properly as yours or you will _ not _ claim them at all.”

Sesshomaru’s eyes were hard and unyielding and Inuyasha realized that he was serious, deadly so. If he wanted to be a father to his own kid then he would have to admit to _ this_. To this _ thing _ between him and Sesshomaru. What would his friends think? How would they react? How would _ Kagome _ take it?! He let out a harsh breath and turned his gaze to his pup. _ His _ pup. He had only just started making friends, he had only just started to make a life for himself. He was finally welcomed, respected, had a place to call home was he really willing to risk that for a future with _ Sesshomaru? _

No. Not Sesshomaru. Was he willing to risk that for a future of knowing his own kids?

“And what-What about Kagome.” He had to ask, after all, she was the true reason for all this strife. 

In his lap Sesshomaru’s hands tensed and his jaw flexed just for a moment before he got them both back under control. “This compromise is to allow you more interaction with your child.” he explained, voice once again carefully blank “To allow _ you _to visit them and take part in their eventual training and raising. It does not involve that woman or any-any other children you might have.” and Inuyasha had never hear Sesshomaru sutter, but it put an odd gravity to this situation that had not been there before. 

“Then...what is the point in telling her?” Inuyasha asked, trying just as much to keep emotions out of his voice and failing, instead his voice came out desperate: pleading. He didn’t _ want _ to have to make this decision. He had already _ tried _ to make it and found himself going back and forth on what he wanted again and again. His friends, his kid, his friends, in an unending cycle. “If i’m not allowed to involve her, involve any of them in my kids life then what would be the point of telling any of them?!”

“Calm yourself,” Sesshomaru insisted though it was obvious his own annoyance was rising and he had to take a deep breath to push it down. “The point is to make sure you don’t push our children to the side, to ensure they feel they are important to you, but also to ensure you understand, and that your _ human friends _ understand that your obligation to our child is _ just as important _as any other children you might have.” And maybe some of his anger seeped into that last remark but it was hardly unexpected. He took another deep breath “and if...if when the child is old enough to make decisions for themself and they wish to...involve themselves in that part of your life then...I will not stop them.” He added reluctantly, though he knew it was an important offer. He would give his pups the freedom to choose for themselves when the time came, but for now he would choose form them. 

Inuyasha swallowed, he knew this answer was supposed to be easy and he hated himself when he realized it wasn’t. “Can-“ he started, clearing his throat for a moment before turning away from Sesshomaru, “can you give me a moment. With them?” He indicated to the pup and, after seeing Sesshomaru nod he moved forward.

He hadn’t gotten a chance to spend time with the pup alone at the palace beyond that first night and so now he tried to make up for lost time. To roll around in the dirt with the pup, play wrestled with them, let them nibble at his ears and tackle him and just enjoy their company until the sun had set and he ended up curled around the tired form. He pet through the white fur as it shown in the moonlight and tried to tell himself this wasn’t a goodbye. He hadn’t made a choice yet, he hadn’t, but at the same time he knew that he couldn’t have forever to think about it.

He had never wanted to marry Sesshomaru, he had never wanted this life, and yet here it was in front of him and Sesshomaru was giving him the chance to actually choice to have it rather than having it forced upon him. It was the first time anyone had given him a choice regarding this side of his life and he suddenly realized how much easier it had been to hate it when he hadn’t been able to say no. When was just a kid forced into a marriage against his will and told about the obligations he now _ had _ to fulfill or would later have to. He had never thought he would have any choice in this but now...now he was being offered just that.

He eventually sensed Sesshomaru approaching long after the sun had set and the moon was high up in the sky and he realized he wasn’t sure if Sesshomaru had been there the whole time or if he had gone and come back. He supposed it didn’t matter. “If I choose not to tell them-“ he started, once he heard Sesshomaru stop behind him, he didn’t turn to face him, he couldn’t, “if I keep this all a secret what then?”

“Then,” Sesshomaru’s deep voice came from behind but still he didn’t turn “you will be nothing more to me or my pups then a breeding tool. You will continue on as you did before, as we both did before, but between us you will have no true claim to my pups, nor will you be allowed to visit or see them outside of those social events that require it. Our pup’s will know that this was your choice, that you chose humans over them, and should they still eventually choose to get to know you then that will be _their_ choice.”

Inuyasha closed his eyes. Taking a slow deep breath and letting it out. His conversation with Totosai told him exactly why Sesshomaru was demanding this but it made the choice no easier.

“How long do I have to make a decision?” He finally asked and Sesshomaru was silent for a long moment. Inuyasha was half expecting to hear the answer to be ‘now’ but was surprised when instead Sesshomaru answered: 

“The pups birthday is in one month. I will be sending Jaken to collect Rin so that she might celebrate with us. I can give you until then and, should you choose to tell your friends, then you may accompany Jaken and Rin to the Western Palace for the celebration.”

It was far more generous than Inuyasha was expecting and he nodded, nuzzling into the pups fur.

“You think you might be pregnant again?” He asked after a moment and was met with another moment of long silence before the sound or armor and clothing coming undone reached his ears.

Sex that night was different then it had been the past three times. The air around it was heavier and their movements were far slower, more careful, as if something important had just changed. Inuyasha didn’t want to think that this was a goodbye either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always you can find me at twitter or tumblr under the same name! (I finally put on anonymous asks on tumblr so you can feel free to ask me questions about this story there!)


	8. Choices and An Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha makes a choice and visits a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly shorter then the rest given the content and how everything ended up breaking up, sorry!

### CHAPTER 8: Choices and An Interlude 

Getting to the northern wolf tribe on foot took a few days but it gave Inuyasha plenty of time to think, and he had a lot to think about. Sesshomaru compromise was honestly terrifying. He had worked so hard to be accepted, to find a place where he belonged as himself when everyone but his mother had rejected him. Even Sesshomaru had rejected him until just recently, so recently in fact that it was hard to believe that it would hold. And hell he had had to work hard to even accept himself! To risk losing the few people that did accept him, well it was hard to do, especially when he would be doing it because someone who had hated him for all of his life. But, he reminded himself, he wouldn’t not be doing it for Sesshomaru, he would be doing it _ for his pup. _

It would be hard, it _ was _hard, but he was starting to think that it might, kind of, maybe, be worth it. 

He thought about Miroku. He had found himself watching him a lot more since that initial trip to meet his own kid. Miroku was a father, and he was a man that _ loved _ being a father. Inuyasha had watched him with a sense of envy as he played with his own children: as he took the girls out fishing or flower picking. As he taught them how to talk, taught them basic prayers. As he picked them up and carried them around. He saw how he looked as his newest, how he patiently held him as Sango worked, how he was _ there _ to see the kids first smile, how he had cried when he had heard his child’s first laugh. How he loved his children _ so much _ that it practically radiated from him.

And Inuyasha…he wanted that. He hadn’t been willing to acknowledge it before, because before there hadn’t been a _ point _ to acknowledging it. After his first visit to see his kid he had thought Sesshomaru would never let him have that with his child. He had accepted it. Decided that it was _ better _ that way because it at least it meant he didn’t have to complicate things with his friends. But _ now. _ Now that the offer was out there - the offer that he could have this - He found he wanted it so much it physically _ hurt _. 

What would it be like if he could return to the village right now and just _ gush _ about his pup? To let himself be _ happy _ about his child and to actually express that happiness? To express it to other people? To his _ friends? _ For so long the pup had been a subject full of hesitance and anger; not at them but at the situation. So what would it be like if he actually let himself be a father?

He could find out if he just let himself agree to the compromise Sesshomaru had set out. Sure there were little pieces of the agreement that had pissed him off. Mostly that Sesshomaru had specifically left Kagome out - after all the whole fight and having a pup _ now _ had technically been about her in the first place - but now that he had a moment to think about it...well, hadn’t he had a negative reaction to the thought of someone else raising his pup instead of him? Even thinking about it now; the idea of Sesshomaru finding someone else, having _ other _ pups with someone else, having his own pups call someone else _ papa - _ it hurt. It hurt in a way he wasn’t expecting and he...could almost imagine that Sesshomaru was feeling the same way about Kagome. Of _ course _ he wouldn’t let their kids be around her, of course he wouldn’t want her as part of their life. He couldn’t control Inuyasha but he _ could _control that.

And as much as Inuyasha teased Sesshomaru for being like his mom, he really _ wasn’t. _ He cared little for most things, but when he chose something to care about he cared about it _ deeply _ and while Sesshomaru’s mom probably thought Toga taking a wife was ‘cute’ or some shit, Sesshomaru…

Well Sesshomaru had told him how he saw it. Growled it at his face really. So ya. He cared. He cared a _ lot. _ And honestly? Inuyasha found he surprisingly didn’t mind all that much that Sesshomaru wanted to keep Kagome out of their pups lives because he _ got it _ . He actually genuinely understood because the thought of Sesshomaru having someone else instead of him in their pups life upset him _ too. _

And so he would do that for him. He couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t have a life with Kagome but he wouldn’t involve Kagome in their pups lives, not as a caretaker or another parent. That much he could do.

So he could find out what it was like to be a proud and happy father, he could know what it was like to be involved in his kids life, to choose to be involved, he just had to…well. Figure out how to _ tell _his friends.

_ That _ was definitely going to be the hard part.

———

Inuyasha showed up at the northern wolf tribe only to be greeted with looks of confusion. It annoyed him but he supposed it was expected. He hadn’t exactly been around visiting and Koga hadn’t been part of the northern tribe until after their shared adventure together. Once he told people who he was and that he wanted to see Koga though he actually got an actual response that wasn’t threats of death which at least meant they had some recollection of who he was. Seemed Koga _ had _ told people about him.

After a few moments _the wolf _himself appeared, full grins and looking like he was raring for a friendly fight. Inuyasha almost wanted to take him up on in but his own thoughts from his travels him in a far more contemplative and nervous mood that made a fight seem unappealing, especially since he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus enough to do well in it. 

Koga seemed to notice and smacked him across the shoulder instead, “what’s got you looking like a pup caught in the dirt? Kagome send you to the dog house?” He teased and Inuyasha smacked off the wolf’s hand from his shoulder.

“As if,” He said, huffing and crossing his arms before looking away nervous. “I’m actually here for...uh...I um...need some advice on puppies.”

“No shit?” Koga said, looking both surprised and ecstatic all at once “My man! you make fast work! She’s expecting already?”

“What?” Inuyasha blinked in confusion before realizing what assumption Koga had made and blushing from head to foot. “No! What the hell Koga!” He shoved at him. With everything going on with Sesshomaru the idea of a pregnant Kagome was quickly becoming a tangled complication that he was dreading thinking about. It was probably best to take these problems one at a time. 

“It’s not about Kagome it’s-“ he hesitated as he realized something important. he could _ tell Koga _ . Hell, he might even have to. There was no way Koga would believe that Sesshomaru had actually had a hanyou kid without actually explaining _ why _ . And ya, he _ could _ lie, continue with the lie he had told his friends, but he had an opportunity here to _ practice _ on someone who was going to eventually find out the truth _ . _ Koga was, after all, a demon, and a prince at that. he would find out sooner rather than later. The most he had was five years when the official announcement went out to all the kingdoms, and even less if Sesshomaru’s mom wasn’t bothering to keep rumors from spreading. He was probably damn lucky that Koga didn’t _ already _ know about him and Sesshomaru but they had _ all _ been very careful to keep that strictly ‘western kingdom’ business - annoying eastern princes fully excluded from that gossip rotation. So he could use this as a way to practice. Koga _ might _ understand. Kind of. He could _ tell _ him-

“OÍ DOG BREATH!” Kogas voice broke through his thoughts, making him jump back “Damn, something really must be eating at you. Something wrong with some pups or something? You’ve actually got me worried here.” 

Inuyasha huffed and tugged at his ear, trying to fix the ringing that Koga’s yelling had caused, “It’s nothing bad just...kind of sensitive information you know?” He admitted, mind made up “You got somewhere we can chat?”

Koga seemed to hesitate, looking genuinely worried before nodding and leading him deeper into the cliffs that made up the northern wolf tribes home “I’ve got a cave not too far, but I’m expecting a damn good explanation for your mood got it?”

“Ya ya. Got it.” Inuyasha grumbled, schooling himself for the inevitable now as they made it to the a large cave system. Inuyasha was surprised to see the luxury of it. “Always forget you’re a prince. This place is nice.” He said, moving to take a seat on one of the furs. 

“Glad to hear you have some style dog breath, now start talking, what’s this about pups that has us hiding away?” Koga asked, dropping into a pile of furs across from him. 

“Give me a second damn it! We just got in here.” He grumbled, listening to make sure they weren’t being listened to. “Look,” he started once he was sure they were in the clear “you’ll probably find out sooner or later given your fancy ass position but have you heard about Sesshomaru’s new kid?”

“The Lord of the West? Ya we got some gossip about half a year ago that he’d had an heir, nothing official though. Didn’t really consider it very important since we’re not in the Western territories. Why? Something wrong with the pup?”

“Not exactly. It’s, um. I’m actually here about them. It’s…” He let out a low growl and ran a hand down his face “Fuck, the kid is mine alright!” he said, looking up at Koga with a hard glare as if _ daring _ him to say something. 

There was a long silence following that statement, a very long silence, in which Koga looked at him like he had gone insane. 

“We...are talking about the same person right?” Koga finally asked slowly. 

“Probably” Inuyasha grumbled out, crossing his arms once again tightly across his chest.

“Sesshomaru”

“Yup”

“Your brother.”

“Yup”

“Your _ Brother” _ he emphasized again and Inuyasha wasn’t sure if it was to emphasis their relationship or the fact that, as far as everyone but those that had known Sesshomaru since he was a pup were concerned, they were both _ male _ but he didn’t really care either way.

“Ya dick ass. My _brother_ and my _husband.” _He yelled, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation as he sat forward, only just holding back from jumping to his feet and pacing “It was an arranged thing alright? Neither of us were happy about it and we still aren’t but the point is that we’ve got a pup and we need some advice.”

Koga’s mouth opened and closed a few times, obviously trying to find a suitable reaction to this information but all he ended up doing was reiterating: “Your _ brother?!” _

“Look!” Inuyasha growled, pointing a finger directly at Koga’s face in anger. To be fair this was kind of the reaction that he was expecting but it was _ still _ annoying like everything the damn wolf did was. “Don’t think too much into it okay, I’m Not here about my fucked up relationship with my sibling, I’m here about my _ kid _ who needs some _ help _.”

Koga mumbled under his breath something that sounded like ‘ya I bet it fucking does’ which finally had Inuyasha on his feet glaring down in anger. 

“You want to go you fucking bastard?! Nothings wrong with my kid!”

“Well obviously something is or you wouldn’t be here asking me for something about them!” Koga answered in return, jumping to his own feet to meet Inuyasha’s challenge. “Shit, does Kagome know?! How long have you two been married?! Don’t tell me you’ve been pursuing her while hitching up with your own brother!”

“Damn it! Shut it Koga and try to stay on fucking topic!” He lashed out, attacking where Koga with his claws though the wolf demon easily dodged, moving out of the way. 

“Well it’s kinda an important question given that it essentially means you’ve been creating on her!” Koga attacked, forcing Inuyasha to dodge his own swipe, jumping out of reach before launching his own attack, this time catching Koga’s upper arm and sending him stumbling over the furs they had just been sitting among. 

“I haven’t been doing shit!” He yelled as Koga got his feet back under him and they both started to circle, “and if I was cheating on anyone it was Sesshomaru!”

“So you _ were _ already married to him!” Koga yelled, pointing an accusing finger.

“Oh shut it Koga! I already told you-“ a sharp whistle from the front of the cave brought them both to a stop as they both turned to see Amaya at the entrance of the cave.

“Uh. Hey babe.” Koga said softly, looking abashed at having been caught in the middle of a fight in their den.

“Don’t ‘babe’ me!” Amaya yelled, hands on her hips “What the _ hell _ is going on here?!”

——————

Inuyasha ended up having to explain the situation again, this time acting like he was asking for a friend while Koga glared at him the whole time but he did eventually get the information he needed from the wolves, most of it from a midwife that was called in for more extensive information. She had eventually written everything down once she noticed Inuyasha seemed to be having trouble keeping it all straight. 

When all was said and done Koga walked him back out, the mood slightly more somber after everything. They both stopped a distance from the northern wolf's territory, both of them standing in silence as they both tried to figure out exactly what kind of goodbye to give. Neither of them had ever really been good at this kind of thing.

“Look,” Koga was the first one to start, not looking at Inuyasha as he rubbed the back of his head “I’m not going to pretend I understand any of the messed up shit you just dumped on me and, I don’t know, maybe one day you’ll explain it a bit better, but I hope this information helps your new pup.”

“Ya. It’s…it’s really fucking complicated,” Inuyahsa agreed, also avoiding looking at Koga, “but I appreciate the information so I think I can forgive you for reacting badly.” He shuffled, crinkling the papers in his hand slightly. “Just...I’m going to tell the others. Eventually. Soon. So please don’t mention anything unless you know that i’ve told them. I really don’t want them to find out from anyone but me.”

Koga sighed and looked up at the moon for a second, it wasn’t full yet but it would be soon. “Ya. Alright. I suppose they deserve to hear it from you anyway.” He turned back to Inuyasha. “I’m...not really sure if I should be congratulating you on this kid or not. Doesn’t exactly sound like you wanted it.”

Inuyasha flinched at that, glancing away in shame as it brought up too many of his swirling thoughts from the last few days. “Ya well, it’s not exactly the kids fault that they were born into such a shitty situation and it doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit just because me and Sesshomaru got beef.”

“That’s a pretty good outlook I guess.” Koga shrugged before finally looking over at him and giving him a small smile “And hey, if you ever get a chance: drop by with the kid alright? I’d love to meet them.”

Inuyasha blinked at that, meeting Koga’s gaze before snorting to hide the smile spreading across his face. “Ya right wolf boy! Like I would let you anywhere near my pup! You’ll turn them against me!”

“Like I would even need to try!” Koga shot right back, the air between them clearing at the far more familiar banter, “Pretty sure Lord Sesshomaru probably has all that covered!”

“Oh fuck you!”

“I’d say ‘fuck you too’ but Sesshomaru obviously has _ that _covered too!”

Inuyasha lunged at him for that but the wolf was already gone with a happy laugh. Inuyasha huffed out a laugh at his own before turning his own gaze to the moon. It was time to head home. 


	9. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Inuyasha has a hand full of hard conversation

###  CHAPTER 9: Confessions

Dinner felt shockingly normal after everything. He had arrived back at the village after a little over a week being gone to curious but happy firends who welcomed him back with open arms and food. All of them were curious about where he had gone given his sudden disappearance and vague excuses for leaving and after everything he suddenly didn’t feel like lying to them about it. His lies had always been a heavy burden and it wasn’t like he had done anything _ wrong _ . So he told them where he had gone and why. He wasn’t quite ready to tell them that Sesshomaru’s kid was his, he wanted the moment to be right and honestly he kind of wanted to tell them separately rather than in a group, it felt safer like that, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t tell them he had been to see Sesshomaru and the new pup.

And So he did. He told them that Sesshomaru had asked for a bit of help while he went to go talk to Totosai. Told them how he had gotten to play with the pup and soon enough he found himself gushing about them. It was nice being able to talk about the kid like this, as nice as he had imagined it would be. He got to tell them how cute the pup was, how sharp their little baby teeth were, how they still whimpered and nuzzled and cried like a newborn, and how they liked to sleep pressed close to Inuyasha’s chest. 

The smile on his face must have been something by the end because Kagome and Sango looked near to joyful tears while Miroku had looked oddly knowing. 

“Sounds to me like someone’s getting attached.” Miroku commented with a laugh and Inuyasha shot him a glare, “thinking about maybe having one of your own?” He winked and it was a perfect opening by Inuyasha didn’t take it as he shoved a foot in Miroku's face instead. “Not a chance, Sesshomaru’s is enough for me.”

“I am curious though, isn’t Sesshomaru Lord of the Western Land? Doesn’t he have subjects he can leave the pup with? It’s a little surprising to hear he’s taking it around places with him.”

“Maybe he is being paranoid?” Kagome offered, “I mean, we all know how strong Sesshomaru is. Maybe he thinks the puppy is safer with him than anyone else.”

“Except our dear friend Inuyasha here,” Miroku smirked again “that’s quite an honor he has bestowed on you, my friend.” 

“Shut it Miroku he was just down the way the whole time. Wasn’t like he  _ actually _ left the kid with me” Inuyasha huffed, though he had to admit now that he thought about it, it really  _ was  _ a big deal that Sesshomaru had trusted him that much. “I doubt he would actually leave me alone with the kid.” He added, but he couldn’t help but think that maybe, one day, he might.

————

The first person he told was Miroku. He had a job the next day and it was easy enough for Inuyasha to tag along even if Kagome was a little upset to see him go again so soon after getting back. He hadn’t let that stop him though, especially since he didn’t want to give himself time to second guess himself. 

He hadn’t been sure how or when to bring up the topic with Miroku but thankfully his friend took over the talking pretty quickly after they left town. He started telling him all the stuff he had missed in the week he had been gone and all the funny stuff his kids had gotten up to he had eventually managed to ask; “what’s it like? Being a dad?”

Miroku had given him that knowing smirk again and clasped him across the back and said “I knew you were thinking about it, thinking about getting a bun in the oven soon then?” He winked and still Inuyasha couldn’t help but blush. He was, but not with the person Miroku was implying and now he had to wonder if Sesshomaru was already pregnant again.

“I uh.” He glanced away, rubbing the back of his head, he just needed to force it out “I’ve actually already got one.” He said in a rush but the sound of Miroku’s steps stopping told him the monk had heard.

“I’m-I’m sorry my friend; did you just say you  _ have _ a child?” He asked, a number of emotions going across his face as Inuyasha turned to look at him, glaring slightly.

“You heard me monk!” Inuyasha said agitated, wanting Miroku’s expression to finally settle on something so he knew how to react himself. When it did though he  _ knew _ Miroku had come to the wrong conclusions because it was joy that settled there.

“Happy days my friend! I congratulate you and Kagome for the new life you are expecting! I know you must be nervous, why I remember when Sango-“

“It’s not Kagome.” Inuyasha cut him off immediately, needing to stop him right now before things went too far. Miroku faltered then, the joy falling off his face and  _ there _ that was the expression he was looking for. That mixture of confusion that could potentially turn to rage in a moment's notice.

“But...Inuyasha if not her then... _ who?”  _ He asked softly and Inuyasha sighed, looking away at the rice fields around them.

“You’ve got to promise to hear me out completely before freaking out okay? Because it’s...it’s really complicated and I’m probably not going to explain it well the first time around but I need you to listen before you do anything stupid okay?”

Miroku reluctantly agreed and Inuyasha had slowly explained as they continued their walk. The monk didn’t look at him the whole time, and his face had become calculating, as if working through a difficult problem. Still, in told Inuyasha he had made the right choice to tell Miroku first, the mild-mannered monk was happy to hear him out and leave his reaction for later where Kagome and Sango were far more likely to react too quickly and not hear a word he had to say after the initial confession.

He ideally rubbed the beads around his neck, wondering if this was what was going to get him ‘sat’ so many times it killed him.

His words eventually trailed off and still Miroku thought in silence for a long time and Inuyasha let him. He knew it was a lot for the monk and the quiet was kind of welcome after everything.

“Firstly, my friend, I am sorry for your marriage. For such a union to be forced upon you at such a young age, it was hardly fair or good. For the union to be to someone who so obviously wanted you dead much of your life...I cannot imagine the suffering that would have caused. And now, with a child, that he is forcing you to confess such things to us to simply be present in your child’s life-“

“Miroku.” Inuyasha said softly “It’s fine. We’ve...patched some things up these last few years.”

“But you still wish you weren’t married to him.” Miroku pushed, gently like he always did and Inuyasha felt his heart ache with it.

“Of course not, but...he was right. It’s not fair to the kid to treat them like a deep dark secret.” He replied, kicking a rock along the road just to have something to do to keep his head down so he didn’t have to look at Miroku. “It wouldn’t be fair to hide them in one half of my life while wanting to be a proper parent to them in the other. I know I can’t have both, not without hurting the kid.”

“So you decided you wanted to be a parent.” it was a statement, not a question.

“Ya.” Inuyasha agreed, “Ya I did. I don’t want the kid growing up to hate and resent me or to hate the half of themself that came from me. I  _ want _ to be there for them. I  _ want _ to see them grow and play and have fun. I want to be able to teach them stuff. I...I want them to know about their human side.” He also confessed, it had been on his mind too. How, without him, the kid would never get a chance to learn about it. Would never even hear about Inuyasha’s mom and he found he didn’t want that to become a reality. “I want to help them accept it so it doesn’t take them two-hundred years like it took me. I-“ he rubbed at his face “It’s stupid. I know. But it’s the choice I’ve made.”

“Well my friend,” Miroku said, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, “if it’s any consolation I think you’ve made the right one. Now come along, let’s get this job done so we can speak more.” He smiled as Inuyasha finally looked up at him, “You are  _ really _ going to need a plan to tell all of this to Kagome.”

—————

The job had gone easily enough, just like he expected it would, and they managed to get back to the village that night. Really Miroku hardly needed his help on things anymore but it was nice to keep busy otherwise he knew he would end up getting restless around the village.

On their way back to the village they tried to come up with the best way to tell Kagome. There was a lot that could go wrong and there would be no easy way to break it to her. Inuyasha knew that Miroku was right when he said he should have told her ages ago, at least before she had gone through the well that last time but Inuyasha hadn’t thought things would change so quickly. Hadn’t thought that Sesshomaru would want to have a kid so soon, and he had stupidly thought that he could have had his life with Kagome without his demon life ever infringing on it. 

He should have realized it was a stupid thing to think. He should have known that, as far as the counsel and Sesshomaru were concerned, the first kid Inuyasha had would  _ have _ to be from Sesshomaru, and he should have realized that his relationship with Kagome would put them both into this situation. It wasn’t like Kagome could wait 100 years for him. He would have to fix it all now, tell her everything, and regretting not doing so sooner wasn’t going to make it easier so he pushed it to the back of his mind. He could deal with  _ regret  _ later.

They got back to the village in time for dinner which they ate as a group. They told the girls about the badger demon they had dealt with, and Inuyasha got himself ready for everything that was about to happen.

“Hey Kagome?” He asked as they left Sango and Miroku’s hut, heading towards Inuyasha’s own. It felt odd having a  _ home _ but also really nice and in the last three years he had gotten used to it. He just hoped he wouldn’t have to abandon it after this. He would give it to Kagome if she decided she wanted nothing to do with him after this and drove him out of the village. She deserved to be happy and he wouldn’t stick around if she didn’t want him to.

“You mind if we talk for a second?” He asked lightly and she looked at him with worry. He was hardly ever this serious about things and so she could probably tell that this was important. 

“Sure Inuyasha. What’s wrong?” She asked him with genuine concern that made his chest hurt again. He rubbed at it but knew it wouldn’t help. It never helped with emotional pain. 

“You’re not going to like this.” He admitted, “and I know I should have told you before. Probably a long time ago, but I didn’t think anything was going to change with it or that...this would happen.”

She looked more worried now, and the hand she had moved to touch his shoulder was suspended in the air, as if unsure if she should touch him or not. “Inuyasha…” she started before a determined look came across her face and she took a deep breath. “Alright. I’m ready, whatever you need to tell me I’ll listen.” 

Inuyasha relaxed slightly at that promise, but he wasn’t too sure he could trust it. They had both grown a lot during their three years apart and he had noticed that Kagome’s anger had mellowed slightly too. She certainly did her best not to react as quickly to things as she once had and he certainly wasn’t getting ‘sat’ as much as he used to. Still, he hadn’t done anything recently to really upset her though so he figured he was about to really test the limits of her new found control.

“You know Sesshomaru’s missing wife?” he asked carefully, slowly “The one you kept asking about when we were at the palace?” He prompted, which made Kagome’s determined expression shift to confusion. “It’s me.”

He saw Kagome sway and he moved forward to catch her only she caught herself on the hut instead. 

“I think-“ she started, voice soft as she looked at him wide-eyed. “I think we should chat in the hut.”

And then she was gone and Inuyasha was staring at empty space for a long moment before following her in.

——————

“But your a guy!” Kagome said a little too loudly for his liking “I’ve seen you naked inuyasha!”

“I'm his husband then,” he corrected in frustration given that they had been going around in circles now and he hadn’t even been able to get to the main  _ point _ . He wasn’t even sure if she had put two-and-two together yet and realized what this meant about the pup, “The word you use doesn’t matter. As far as demon law is concerned we’re married.”

“But he’s your brother Inuyasha! Do demons actually do stuff like that?!”

“No.” He ground out, really hoping he voice wasn’t carrying outside of the walls “Not typically, but mine and Sesshomaru’s situation was oh so  _ fucking _ ‘special’ since Sesshomaru is the last of his line. Honestly I should just be grateful they didn’t marry me to his  _ mom.”  _

“And what about the baby?!” She yelled, high pitched enough to hurt his ears. So it looked like she had figured that out then, “I  _ saw _ the puppy Inuyasha! Where the hell did that come from then?!” She asked and he could tell she was near hysterical at this point. Still, he hadn’t been ‘sat’ yet so he was taking that as a good sign. Or a sign that she forgot she could do that. 

“Have you seen Sesshomaru naked Kagome?” He prompted through a growl.  _ This _ was the real confession, this was the real  _ point _ “Because you wouldn’t be asking that if you had.”

She looked at him in silent shock, her mouth hanging wide open, and he could see in her eyes the moment everything else clicked.

“Oh my god. The puppy is  _ yours _ .”

—————

Inuyasha had tried to talk to her further, had tried to explain why he hadn’t told her sooner but she had shut down, not wanting to hear it, so what else could he do? He left the hut to her and went to his tree, staring up at the sky. He always felt a little more at ease here, and things seemed to be a little clearer which helped him relax. 

the new moon would be In two days and he would be human. He hated his human nights but he found himself saddened at hearing his pup didn’t have them. It was one thing less he could share with them. The trip to see Koga had brought that realization to the forefront in his mind, but he really hadn’t had time to think much about while trying to figure out how to confess things to his friends. Now he had time while he waited for Kagome’s final response and he felt the thoughts pushing forward again. He let himself remember the fact that his kid  _ was Hanyou _ . It was easy to forget with the pup being, well, a puppy, but they had human blood, human blood they deserved to know about. His memories with his mother were some of the few good memories he had, the few that got him through some pretty shitty times, and he  _ wanted  _ to be able to have those with his own kid. They deserved to know who their grandmother was, who their  _ human  _ side was. Sesshomaru would never teach them that. Could never teach them that really. Honestly, he was a little surprised how much Sesshomaru genuinely seemed to care about their kid. Their  _ Hanyou _ kid. Maybe it was because he could pretend the kid was a full demon? He had certainly hated  _ Inuyasha  _ for being hanyou.

But no, that wasn’t really true was it? Sesshomaru’s own actions of seeking out help in feeding their kid was proof enough that he, at the very least, couldn’t pretend they were full demons. On top of that, Sesshomaru had been pretty blunt over the fact that his real issue with Inuyasha had been that he was their fathers ‘favorite’.

Inuyahsa being a half demon had probably just been an insecurity of his that Sesshomaru had happily exploited.

But that didn’t mean the sentiment wasn't true for the rest of demon-kind. Sure Sesshomaru had proven himself to be protective, obsessively so, but he wasn’t  _ hanyou _ and he would never be able to connect with the kid when it came to that. Inuyasha on the other hand…he knew how much it hurt. How much he had hated himself, hated  _ Sesshomaru.  _ How much he had wished to be a full demon just like his  _ big brother _ . So much so that he had turned to a magic jewel to try and achieve it and almost lost himself in the process.

Would his kid have ended up going through the same thing if he had chosen his friends over them? Would the kid have learned to hate his human side because they associated it with a father who abandoned them? Who ‘chose humans’ over them? Would they have made the same mistakes he had? Would they  _ still _ make the same mistakes he had? Even with him around to help, would they try to become a full demon? just because they couldn’t stand their other half? Because of the hate they would face for having human blood running through them?

What he had said to Koga was true, he didn’t hate the kid. It wasn’t the kids fault they were born into a shitty situation, and while he already knew he wanted to get to know them, he found now that he wanted to be there to  _ protect _ them. They were Inu-hanyou just like him, they were a part of him, and he wanted to be around to see exactly what that would mean and who they would become.

He almost had to laugh, he had come so far into accepting himself, accepting that he was half-demon and that wasn’t only  _ okay _ but that it made him stronger, gave him emotions demons like Sesshomaru could never hope to understand, and yet, here he was, still being torn between his demon life and his human life. Well  _ fuck it _ . Whatever response he eventually got from Kagome he wouldn’t let that stop him from being there for his kid. He wouldn’t abandon them and he wouldn’t let them make the same mistakes he had, not if he could help it.

\-------

He returned to the village the next morning, or tried to, but Miroku was there waiting for him and shook his head. “Kagome showed up at our place this morning to talk with Sango so it might be in your best interest to keep a bit of distance.”

Inuyasha nodded slowly at that, looking over Miroku’s shoulder for a moment then back to him. “Did she um...seem pissed?”

“Mostly she just seemed sad.” Miroku told him gently, putting a hand on his shoulder “I don’t know what this is going to mean for you and her, but Kagome is a kind hearted woman when she doesn’t let her anger get the best of her. Have faith, my friend.”

Inuyasha took a deep breath but nodded at that. Kagome had managed to forgive a lot of people that probably didn’t deserve it so he had to be willing to give her some time.

“Guess I won't be the one telling Sango ha?” he prompted, trying to lighten the mood a little, a weak smile on his face. 

“Apparently not.” Miroku nodded, and by the way he winced he could only assume that he had confessed to the girls that  _ he _ had known. Inuyasha doubted that had gone well for him. “Though you might want to think about telling Kaede and Rin at some point, if Rin doesn’t already know.”

—————

It turned out that both Rin and Kaede knew so there wasn’t much to do there, though he was surprised at how well the little girl could keep a secret. He was also surprised at the fact that Sesshomaru had told anyone, at least until he found out that  _ Jaken _ had told Rin. According to Rin it had been shortly after the pup was born and had consisted of long drawn out rant, a number of tears, and death threats towards Inuyasha over the whole thing. Kaede had overheard because of course Jaken had decided to go on this rant in her hut while she had been there and, well, there they were.

Inuyasha had thanked Kaede for keeping the whole thing quiet, knowing that it was probably her that had managed the situation this whole time. She had simply smiled at him before hitting him over the head and telling him to never do it again. Still, he  _ was _ thankful, especially since he knew she could have told Kagome at any moment and had decided to give him the chance to make things right himself. 

Inuyasha had gone back to his tree after that to wait once more, wondering how long he would have to do so. Wondering if Kagome was now regretting coming back to this time. He knew that she hadn’t just come back for him, that she genuinely liked it here and that she had wanted the life it had to offer her but he would have to be an idiot to think that a relationship with him hadn't factored into her decision. It just reminded him of the fact that he really should have told her sooner. 

It was the evening of the new moon that she finally came for him, coaxing him out of the tree and back into his hut before the sun went down. They sat in silence for a long time after his transformation and it made Inuyasha realize just how much silence was starting to fill his life. He knew it was because he had left people in an awkward position, that  _ he _ was the problem and that people were having trouble knowing how to interact with him now but he was starting to hate it. 

“Miroku told me that Sesshomaru is forcing you to do this.” She finally said softly from where she was curled up opposite of him by the fire, “That he won’t let you see your own kid if you didn’t tell us.”

“That’s...not exactly it Kagome-” Inuyasha started but he was cut off as he saw the anger in her eyes. 

“No? Because that was what it sounded like to me. You do something for him and he lets you see your kid. What’s he going to force you to do next Inuyasha? Go to live with him? Stop spending time with us? Was he hoping we would reject you and kick you out for this?!” She asked and some part of him was relieved that she was pissed at  _ Sesshomaru  _ and not him. 

“It’s not like that Kagome.” Inuyasha insisted again, but now that Kagome mentioned it he wasn’t too sure.  _ Would  _ Sesshomaru keep demanding things from him if he wanted to keep seeing his kid? Did he hope that Inuyasha friends would reject him? Sesshomaru insisted he didn’t lie and he was inclined to believe that the reason that he had given Inuyasha was the truth, but if it was the whole truth...he couldn’t be sure. It made a new anxiety start to form in his stomach but he pushed it away. He couldn’t do anything about those questions right now anyway. 

“He just didn’t want me treating the kid like an embarrassment or a secret,” He insisted, not letting himself back down, “and he was right, as much as I hate it. Kagome-” He prompted, almost reaching across to her before catching himself and forcing himself back down, “you taught me to love myself, both my human half and my demon half.  _ You _ showed me that there was value in both sides of me and that, without both I wouldn’t be myself.” He could see Kagome’s expression shift slightly from anger to hesitant openness, willing to hear him out. “This is the same kind of thing, even if Sesshomaru didn’t use the same words. He was  _ right _ that I couldn’t live two different lives without some kind of loss. I-I couldn’t live here, with  _ you _ in a human village with a some-what human life and expect to live just as equal of one in the demon world with...with him and our kid.” he took a deep breath, “So he gave me a choice, I either combined both of my lives, my demon one and my human one, or I... gave up on my demon one completely.” He swallowed “I think he knew I would never be able to give up my human one, here, with you and Sango and Miroku. Or maybe he just...didn’t want me to be involved in his life. I don't really know but...he didn’t even try to offer me that one.”

Kagome seemed near tears by the time he finished but he wasn’t sure what they were supposed to mean. She wiped at them with her sleeve and took a moment to seemingly collect herself before looking back at him. “I don’t know what to do about this inuyasha It’s...it’s a lot on so many levels that I just...don’t know where to even start.” She sniffled slightly. “I still think what he’s doing to you isn’t fair. That he shouldn’t be using your own kid against you like this but-but I suppose I understand. I guess it wouldn’t be very healthy for a kid to grow up having to pretend their dad wasn’t their dad half the time right?” she let out a bit of a hiccupped laugh 

“Or worse, finding out their dad had a whole other life and family that he never told them about.” Inuyasha added and watched as Kagome’s eye caught his again, he didn’t have the same hearing on these nights but he could tell her breath hitched. 

“Talking from experience?” She asked lightly

“Why do you think Sesshomaru hated me so much? Turns out my old man wasn’t so great after all.” He shrugged, “I can’t really blame him for not wanting his own kid to go through that too. I mean it left him with two-hundred years of issues so…” Kagome nodded and brought her knees up, wrapping her arms around them. 

“So what does this mean for us?” she finally asked softly. 

“Honestly?” he asked, the fire dying between them, “I have no idea.”

——————

They hadn’t talked much after that and eventually Kagome had fallen asleep. Inuyasha spent the rest of the night curled up with his own thoughts about where to go now with Kagome. Would she still want a relationship with him? Or would she decide that friendship was all they could hope for now? He didn’t know but he was sure he would find out eventually. He felt like it needed to be her choice, not his. After all, he was the one showing up with the big secrets.

But that also brought up the question of kids. If she did decide she still wanted to be with him would they still have kids together? Would he be able to bring himself to have kids with her? He really couldn’t blame Sesshomaru for not wanting to put their kids in the same situation as they had found themselves in. Step-siblings sucked, and no matter how much Sesshomaru and him had patched things up they would never truly be free of the hatred of their past. He didn’t even think his old man surviving would have helped. Hell, it might have made it worse.

Inuyasha didn’t want that for his kids, his already existing one or any in the future. But where did that leave him and Kagome? Kids weren’t exactly something you controlled and though he had never talked to Kagome about it it was pretty heavily implied that they would have kids one day and he doubted Sesshomaru would be okay with that and he wasn’t even sure anymore if he would be okay with that.

But where did that leave him? Would he be forced to ultimately decide between Kagome and his kids anyway? Would he be able to convince Sesshomaru that things between their kids and any kids he had with Kagome wouldn't be like them? That he wouldn’t let it happen like that? That he would…He would what? Try and convince all of his kids to get along and play nice? He snorted. Like hell that would work. His dad had obviously wanted that for him and Sesshomaru. For them to actually  _ like _ each other and look where that landed them. No, he wasn’t about to delusion himself with that. The best he could hope for, if he  _ did _ have kids with Kagome, was that he would still be alive to make sure they didn’t outright try and murder each other. 

Shit, why did his life have to be so fucked up?

The dawn finally arrived and he felt his body shift once more before he managed to curl up and get some sleep.

—————

Kagome had made her decision by the time Inuyasha had woken up that afternoon and she asked him to go on a walk with her. It was beautiful outside, perfect early summer weather and Inuyasha watched as she looked up at the clouds, contemplatively. 

“I’ve done a lot of growing in the last three years.” She started as the walked by the rice fields surrounding the village, “and one thing I learned is that I still have a lot of growing to do,” she turned to him then, giving him a soft smile and reaching to take his hand. “And you do too. We’re still young Inuyasha and there is a lot for us to do and learn.” Her smile got a little happier then and she squeezed his hand in both of hers “so I’ve decided to focus my efforts on my Miko training. I’m going to dedicate myself to it fully and become the best prestes I can. And you…” Her smile turned a little soft again as she leaned closer to him, “I think you should focus on being a good parent like I can see you want to do. I know it might not seem like it to you with how long you live but we do have time Inuyasha and I think, right now, we should spend it focusing on what we need to focus on and then think about  _ us _ when we’re good and ready.”

Inuyasha had wanted to argue once she was done. Had wanted to insist that he  _ was _ good and ready for a relationship but all his worries from the night before and the past week came back to him and he realized she was right. He loved her, he wanted a life with her, but right now his life didn’t quite have a place for her as anything but a friend, not just yet and maybe not ever. As hard as that was to think about right now she was right. It did make him feel better though to hear that she had things in her life that she wanted to do, things that she was excited to pursue. It made him feel less like he was abandoning her after the unspoken promises he had made. 

He gave her a smile which he hoped wasn’t too forced and lightly nudged her to the side “when did you get so smart ha?” He teased and she laughed.

“Well, all those tests had to be good for something! Now come on, I still want to finish our walk.” She said as she took his hand and pulled him along. She didn’t let go of his hand until they got back to the village later that day and, somehow, the air felt lighter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of these stories have Kagome bashing in them, and to an extent I agree with the fact that those beads around Inuyasha's neck are really very bad (putting it mildly), but I also think that Kagome in the main story is a very young fifteen your old girl who has a lot of growing to do. Hence I often try to write her as a character as someone who has grown and has a chance to continue to grow.


	10. The Western Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inuyasha Makes it to the western palace and lets his insecurities get the better of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are ready for domestic fluff!! Because these next two chapters are mostly just that! (with a little side of Inuyasha over thinking things WAY too much) but mostly its just Sesshomaru/Inuyasha bonding time with bonus puppy! 
> 
> Also! too all of us in 'staying home' mode I hope you are all safe and I hope that this chapter helps lighten your day a little. This story is very close to completion and I will, hopefully, be starting in on some new stories as soon as this one is done!

###  CHAPTER 10: The Western Palace

Jaken showed up just as expected three days before the pups first birthday looking as annoyed and unimpressed as always. Still, even he couldn’t deny that Inuyasha had held up his end of the deal and reluctantly let him onto Ah-Un. Not that the stupid little kappa would have been able to stop him  _ anyway _ but Ah-Un probably could have and it was best not to piss of the ride, especially not with Rin around to hear.

As they made their way to the western palace, the actual one this time, Inuyasha wasn’t exactly sure what to expect from the whole thing. He had attended Miroku and Sango’s kids birthdays but he doubted this would be similar given the whole ‘demon’ thing and the ‘hair to the west’ thing too. It probably should have made him nervous but after everything not knowing what to expect from a trip to the western palace was a familiar feeling. Honestly the anxiety from  _ this  _ was probably more comforting than anything else. 

“I think I preferred the forest palace.” Inuyasha grumbled as they finally landed and were immediately flooded by servants. Most were none-too happy to see him and a human child but that mostly managed to keep their look to distaste to themselves as they went about caring for Ah-Un. 

“Of that we are in agreement.” Sesshomaru’s voice came from behind him and Inuyasha turned in time to see Rin run up to her Lord, stopping just a little ways away, and bowing to both him and the puppy at his side. He reached forward and lightly patted her head, giving her a fond “Rin” of acknowledgement before looking to Inuyasha. Inuyasha felt himself suddenly freeze in place, another anxiety he hadn’t expected taking over at that moment. He became acutely aware of the fact that Sesshomaru was in complete control of this situation, that, even though he had told his friends the truth that Sesshomaru still might not deem it  _ enough _ . That any wrong move could end in him being sent back to the village, could end in him losing his pup. He felt like he was on a cliff edge where one wrong step could ruin everything. That Sesshomaru might still find him  _ wanting. _

“Come, I will show you to our family’s wing, I doubt you remember the way yourself.” Sesshomaru’s voice cut through his thoughts and made him blink, bringing him back to the present. 

“Given that I didn’t even realize we  _ had _ a family wing I would say you’re right.” He said, following after Sesshomaru and trying not to show how suddenly nervous he was or how annoyed he was that hadn’t even given him time to greet his pup. Or had he and he had just stood there looking like an idiot? Shit, was Sesshomaru judging him for that? Was all of this going to be some kind of test? He just hoped he would be able to interact with his pup once they were wherever they were going but what if he screwed that up too? At least Sesshomaru hadn’t interrogated him about his friends. He doubted it was because Sesshomaru trusted him and was more likely because Sesshomaru trusted Jaken and Ah-Un. It should probably annoy him but he was honestly thankful to not have to talk about it. 

Sesshomaru led them towards the main compound where Inuyasha could see Sesshomaru’s mother giving orders to a number of staff members before they took a sharp right. It took Inuyasha a moment to realize that they weren’t headed to the main compound at all but a large three-story building to its right. It was beautiful, like the whole palace was, and very large. It was a rectangular structure and, as they walked through the main doors, Inuyasha was greeted by a large beautiful garden. The building, it seemed, was a series of rooms built around a large artificial field of grass and wildflowers that left Inuyasha staring in awe. The Western palace was always awe inspiring really, when he didn’t remember to resent the place, but this was something else. 

“I don’t remember this being here before.” He mumbled as he took it all in, looking around at the number of rooms that surrounded them. He could guess that the third floor was likely the servants' chambers, and the bottom floor seemed to be designed for functional day-to-day use. He could smell water, both cold and hot, and he knew one of the rooms had to be a bathhouse.

The second floor had to be the living quarters then. At least he thought he remembered being led up some stairs after their wedding. None of his regular ‘visits’ to the palace involved him staying more than a few hours and his wedding had been so long ago though that the memory was blurry. He  _ definitely  _ didn’t remember a garden though.

“This wing looked quite different a hundred years ago.” Sesshomaru answered, “before it had simply been a long hallway with the rooms to our right. He nodded as he led their whole group towards a set of stairs. “But I found it lacking and commissioned the building to be expanded. If this was to be my family’s wing then it would look it.”

“It’s...nice.” Inuyasha admitted as Rin ran ahead, ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhing’ at everything she came by. Sesshomaru led them around the second story balcony that overlooked the garden towards the room to the far back. “The ceilings are really fucking tall.” Inuyasha mumbled, noticing that the ‘second floor’ was actually the height of three stories rather than one. 

Sesshomaru glanced over at him, giving him an unimpressed look before indicating to their pup who was now standing near shoulder height. “Pups tend to grow fast and grow big before they gain the ability to transform.” He explained, “therefore their rooms needed to allow space for them to do so. Not to mention that I cannot  _ feed  _ pups in this form. While ideally I prefer to  _ not _ stay here it was imperative that the room be large enough to hold an untransformed inuyoukai.” 

Inuyasha blushed and bristled slightly at the reminder of something that was likely meant to be obvious before glaring back in return. “Hey! How the hell was I supposed to know? I haven’t exactly been raised around inuyoukai Alright? I don’t know how big pups get.” He huffed, crossing his arms in agitation as they finally reached an intricate set of doors at the very end of the compound. 

“Jaken, please take Rin to her quarters. I will visit shortly.” Sesshomaru ordered as the little kappa bowed before dragging Rin off who was still looking around excitedly. Sesshomaru watched them go and he almost looked  _ fond  _ before he turned back to Inuyasha. “Come. These are our quarters.” He said evenly, pushing open the doors and taking a moment to remove his shoes before leading Inuyasha and their pup inside. Behind the door was a large room, almost ridiculously so, that was beautifully painted floor to high ceilings were beautiful murals of fields and different phases of the moon. There were intricate pieces of armor assorted into nooks designed into the walls and, to the far side stood windows and sliding doors that led to a balcony looking out to the rest of the palace. 

The tatami mat in the main room was immaculate and Inuyasha almost felt like he should have taken a bath before setting his feet on it but pushed the thought away as their pup bounded into the room, knocking him aside slightly, and jumped into a pile of furs that were laid out on the ground. Inuyasha had almost assumed it was a set up for a bed, but looking again he realized it was a play area for their pup. 

He heard the door close behind him but he paid it no mind as he watched his pup dance around the piles of fur, barking at it, crouching down by it, and springing at it as if it was a wild animal they were trying to take down. It was adorable in a way that only pups could be and Inuyasha had the strongest urge to join in on the game.

Sesshomaru beat him to it though, removing his own pelt and laying it by the door, likely to keep their pup from attacking  _ that, _ and moved to sit next to the furs. Their pup looked excited at their father joining in and quickly tackled him, licking his face happily before vanishing for a moment to grab a well chewed piece of pelt and bring it back. Inuyasha watched with what he could only describe as ‘longing’ as Sesshomaru petted their pup, running his hands along their fur, before the pup started to get annoyed that their father wasn’t playing the game  _ they  _ wanted and growled, the small pelt held tight in their jaw. It looked like a ferret Inuyasha realized as Sesshomaru took one end of it and  _ tugged _ . The pup stumbled for a second, caught off guard by the sudden move, but quickly got their feet under them and started to pull back, snarling as they shook their head back and forth, trying to pull their toy from their father’s grasp. Sesshomaru for his part looked like he was barely holding on to the pelt, not having to put any energy into playing with the near one-year old and would simply shift the toy every so often to stimulate more play when things came to a stand still. 

“Have you started to teach them how to hunt?” Inuyasha asked, a little surprised to hear his own voice fill the space after so long of just watching. The pup stumbled slightly too, seeming startled by the unexpected noise and dropped the ferret in agitation before bouncing over to Inuyasha and barking repeatedly at him to let him know that Inuyasha had  _ scared  _ them and it wasn’t very  _ nice.  _ Inuyasha held back a laugh, biting his lip to do so, as he reached out to pet them, telling them ‘sorry’ softly. He looked back over to Sesshomaru and was startled when he realized how intently Sesshomaru was studying him with an unreadable expression. They stared at each other for a long moment, Inuyasha feeling frozen under his gaze again and wondering if he had messed up, before Sesshomaru indicated to the spot across from him by the pelts. Inuyasha took that as the invitation to break the awkward tension that had suddenly filled the air and to join him and their kid in play. Inuyashs felt himself physically relax. This was a good sign, it had to be.

Gengetsu seemed content then to roll around in their furs, going back to digging into them and burying themselves in the warmth as Sesshomaru and Inuyasha watched. “No,” Sesshomaru answered a long while later, forcing Inuyasha to try and figure out what he had even asked, “they are still too young for that and have no finice yet for killing.” He explained, reminding Inuyasha about his earlier question and holding up the pelt they had just been playing with so Inuyasha could see the extensive damage upon it. “I will start training them in such things when they are old enough to learn the skills, right now simply learning how to use their teeth and claws and jaw is enough.”

Inuyasha nodded, having never really thought too deeply about what raising a  _ puppy  _ might entail and finding himself slightly out of his depths. Shippo had taught him some things about parenthood but Shippo had a somewhat human form and could talk. 

“When are pups usually able to transform?” He asked, wanting to reach out and pet his puppy as they gnawed on one of the pelts but being slightly worried they would mistake his hand for another chew toy and bite into it.

“If they are capable of a transformation they will gain the ability around one-hundred.”

“One hundred?!” Inuyasha exclaimed, seeming genuinely shocked. “Isn’t that a little old?” 

“Are you forgetting that demons age differently already? A transformation is a complicated thing and certainly not an easy one. While I had the power needed to transform by the time I was seventy I did not have the skills of concentration needed to pull my demon energy close enough to myself until I was near one-hundred twenty.”

“Shit.” Inuyasha cursed, turning to look at their pup, “that is a hell of a long time to wait.”

“That is also running on the assumption they can transform at all.” Sesshomaru reminded him and Inuyasha turned a scalding look at him. 

“You saying our kid is going to be too weak?” He sounded annoyed at even the suggestion of it. They had  _ both  _ surpassed their father’s strength or did Sesshomaru forget that already?

“Hardly.” Sesshomaru scoffed, which made Inuyasha relax slightly knowing that Sesshomaru hadn’t been thinking along those lines. “My hope is that all our children will exceed us in strength. But I’ll remind you Inuyasha:  _ you  _ can not transform.”

That made Inuyasha hesitate for more than one reason. The use of ‘children’ instead of ‘child’ had his eyes moving down to Sesshomaru’s stomach but he could not see anything through the bulk of his clothes even without his customary armor, not that he expected to after only a month. He wondered if Sesshomaru was carrying again and, if so, why he hadn’t told him yet. Still, he figured it was probably best not to change the subject just yet. “You think because they’re hanyou they won’t be able to change from this form?” he prompted, looking back up to Sesshomaru’s face and seeing that, thankfully, Sesshomaru’s attention was still on their pup.

“There is a chance.” Sesshomaru admitted, “we should be prepared for it.”

Inuyasha cursed under his breath and turned to look at their pup too. He had seen Sesshomaru in his true form a number of times, but he knew from watching his brother that there was greater strength in the finite movements of his smaller form, more precision. A true form had its place, but it’s bulk made things limited.

“Shit.” Inuyasha reiterated, glancing back to Sesshomaru, “that’s going to be a hell of a lot of meat to feed them if they really  _ can’t  _ eat moon beams or whatever the fuck keeps you running.”

Sesshomaru’s lips twitched slightly and Inuyasha could almost imagine it was a smile.

“Either way, if they are unable to transform it will hardly hinder their rise to the throne.” Sesshomaru added which, in truth, Inuyasha hadn’t even thought to worry about. “A number of powerful demons refuse to take on human-like vistages, finding the act distasteful.”

“Oh and you don’t?” Inuyasha couldn’t help but tease, though he was suddenly very curious about it.

“I did, hence not really trying until I was one-hundred and twenty.” He confessed as their pup came over, looking tuckered out and collapsing into Sesshomaru’s lap. Sesshomaru didn’t seem at all bothered by having the large pup in his lap and simply started to pet them. “Seeing my father wield his sword convinced me that there were good reasons to attempt the transformation.”

“Saunga?” Inuyasha prompted curiously. 

“Yes.” He acknowledged, “Though father did have other swords alongside every so often, they never lasted long though as he had a tendency to break them. Hence his eventual choice to have our blades made from his own teeth.” He indicated to the sword at Inuyasha’s side.

“Hu…” he mumbled, looking to Sesshomaru’s side and their father’s sword that he still kept there. The revelations from Totosai left a bitter undercurrent to his thoughts regarding the swords now but it couldn’t completely erase the fondness either. His father’s sword had become a large part of who he was. “Speaking of swords, you ever get the finished products from Totosai?” he asked after a moment, having not stuck around long enough to actually see the finished product. 

Sesshomaru nodded and indicated to one of the nooks to their left. Inuyahsa looked at the display of armor within, similar to the one Sesshomaru wore on most days while traveling but that he had forgone while here, and up above the display to the short sword hanging above.

“Can I?” Inuyasha asked, already getting to his feet. He could hear Sesshomaru letting out a huff but he didn’t say anything against Inuyasha’s request which he took as permission. 

He was careful in taking the sword down from where it was hung and felt along the wooden sheath which vibrated under his touch. He could feel the strong protective barrier upon it similar to the ones on his own, it was good to know his own kid would have something as strong protecting them too. and carefully pulled the sword from within. It was beautiful, though Totosai wasn’t exactly one to skimp. It shone in the light of the room, gleaming almost white. He wondered if the sword had any abilities like Tessaiga or Tenseiga. They hadn’t exactly requested anything specific in regards to that but he wouldn’t be surprised if Totosai added a little flare. Then again Sesshomaru might not want each of their kids' swords to be different, after all it has certainly caused  _ them _ problems.

Speaking of: “weren’t there supposed to be five?” Inuyasha asked, turning to look at Sesshomaru.

“There are.” He indicated to a few of the other books around the room and the swords in each. “I wasn’t about to trust Totosai not to misplace them.”

“So you decided to use them as decoration instead?” Inuyasha asked, glancing at each before catching Sesshomaru’s glare. “And anyway - “ He said, realizing something important “If they can’t transform then how exactly are they going to be able to use this?”

He saw Sesshomaru shuffle slightly under their kid’s weight. “If that is the case then we will simply have to think of something else.”

“Uh-hu…” he replied, skeptical. It was a half answer and they both knew it but Inuyasha decided not to push it. After all, they apparently had a hundred years to figure it out.

He carefully put the short sword back. The air felt lighter now after managing to hold a conversation with Sesshomaru, his anxieties lessoned, and he could only hope it would last. 

—————

Once the pup had woken back up they moved to the baths, Rin joining them as they cleaned themselves for Dinner. It was to be less formal than the one that was to occur tomorrow on the pups birthday but given The Lady of the West’s presence they were all still expected to dress up. Inuyasha cursed, hating having to wear anything but his favored red robes but knowing by now that there was no getting around it.

Inuyasha had assumed dinner would be a mostly quiet affair but it seemed that Sesshomaru’s mom was in high spirits and was happy to devolve her plans for the next day to them all. Inuyasha, for the first time, became acutely aware that Sesshomaru and his mom weren't actually really eating. Where before he had assumed that their insistence on only having tea was some kind of power move, he was noticing now that the windows to the dinning hall were open allowing the moonlight to stream in, causing both Sesshomaru and his mother to glow beautifully under the light. Inuyasha hadn’t stared at the display since his marriage but now he found himself doing so again with new knowledge that his brother and mother-in-law were  _ eating moonlight _ .

It was fucking weird.

He turned to look at their kid and noticed that their fur was also glowing faintly too, but not close to as much as Sesshomaru seemed to. It was hard to tell If the kid was getting anything from the moonlight at all or if the light was simply hitting them in just the right way. He could understand now why Sesshomaru had been worried.

Still, the information he had gotten from the wolf tribe seemed to have gone to good use. He couldn’t help but feel a little proud of his contribution to his pup's wellbeing as he watched them scarf down pieces of carefully cubed bloodied meat. Sesshomaru’s own mom had also decided to partake in the meat too, having a small plate in front of her with raw pieces that were sliced into thin sheets that she would bring to her mouth ever so often. Sesshomaru had chosen to have none and seemed to be doing his best to try and slow his child’s eating, attempting to teach them some kind of etiquette that obviously was not getting through to the one-year old. If the smile on The Lady of the West’s face was anything to go by, she found the attempt adorable. 

“As I was saying.” She said, taking another sip of her tea. “Tomorrow morning will be a small family breakfast, similar to this dinner. Following that you will be given a small amount of time to yourselves to bathe and get ready for the formal presentation of the pup.”

“Didn’t Sesshomaru already do that?” Inuyasha mumbled, not sure if he liked the sound of it. 

“Well, yes, but the fact that the pup has made it to one year means a wider announcement. A pup may be born, but survival is not always a grantee. The pup was presented to the counsel members upon her birth, and now she shall be presented to our vessels. If she survives to twenty years of age she will be presented to the rest of the kingdoms and, should she make it to fifty she will officially be named third in line to the throne.”

Inuyasha darted a glance at Sesshomaru as he heard his tea cup ‘click’ just a little too loudly against the table. He could see a slight annoyance on Sesshomaru’s face, likely at his mother's choice of words, but he pointedly didn’t say anything. Inuyasha had the feeling that this was an old fight that Sesshomaru did not want to revisit in front of the small dinner party.

“Is Gengetsu going to be getting birthday presents?” Rin asked from where she was sitting, her meal far more similar to Inuyasha's own fully cooked one. “Lord Sesshomaru always brings me presents for my birthday, usually flowers and beautiful kimonos.”

Inuyasha had seen that. Sesshomaru brought Rin presents any time he visited but he always tried to make her birthday a special occasion with extra time spent in the village and, frankly way too extravagant of kimonos for a young girl.

“Yes my dear, there will be plenty of presents,” the Lady of the West assured her “though I dare say some of it likely won’t be what you would expect.”

“What should we expect then?” Inuyasha asked, worried that things were about to get weird.

“The gifts I received upon my presentation were largely enchanted gold and jewelry, kimonos of great value, and offers of potential marriage.” Sesshomaru answered for his mother, seeming annoyed at remembering the gifts, Inuyasha wondered if there was a large room somewhere where Sesshomaru stored all of them. There must be, he doubted that Sesshomaru really remembered his first birthday.

“Oh do stop throwing a fit my dear, you also revived plenty of training swords, chew toys, and some lovely armor. It was hardly a one-sided affair.” His mother insisted and if Sesshomaru was the type to huff he would have. Inuyasha was starting to look a little nervous though, he hadn’t brought his pup anything, hadn’t even thought about it and it wasn’t like he had much to  _ bring _ anyway. Should he have? Would Sesshomaru judge him for not bringing anything? Did it make him a bad dad that he hadn’t gotten anything?!

“Either way,” His mother-in-law’s voice cut through his panic “the presentation will conclude with a formal dinner with the counsel and the ranking families of our vassals. It is  _ advised  _ that humans not be present.” She gave Sesshomaru a look, “Incase someone mistakes her as part of the meal.”

Sesshomaru glared at his mother at that, his lips pursed, but he eventually nodded in agreement, seeming to decide that his mother was right and Rin’s safety was far more important.

“She will be at the family breakfast though.” He insisted and the lady waved a hand at him “Yes yes fine. Now off with all of you, my granddaughter has fallen asleep in her food.” They all looked over to where Gengetsu sat, curled up against Sesshomaru’s side with her head against the table. The pup would open their eyes every so often to grab another piece of meat before seeming to forget they had done so as they fell back to sleep. It was adorable except for the bloody mess they were making. It was definitely time to get the pup to bed.

“Oh. Before I forget.” The Lady of the West stopped them as they all moved to stand, her hand going into her kimono and pulling out a bottle with silver liquid inside. “The potion you requested my dear. I highly recommend you not breast feed your pup for at least a week after It’s consumption.” She told him sternly as he turned and took the bottle. 

“I have not breastfed them for two weeks now and do not intend to restart. They seem to be getting enough substance from the meat they are consuming now.” He answered before standing, lifting their pup into his arm, a task that looked like it should have been more difficult than Sesshomaru made it look, and indicating for both Rin and Inuyasha to follow.

Jaken met them outside and Inuyasha watched as Rin ran off with him, likely to her own room while Sesshomaru led them back to theirs. It seemed the servants had been busy while they were gone as the pile of pelts were gone and in its place a shikibuton and kakebuton had been set up. Sesshomaru moved to place their pup upon the large futon before moving away towards one of the walls. Inuyasha watched, surprised, as Sesshomaru slid it away revealing another room on the other side, much smaller than the main room but similarly set up. Inuyasha hesitantly followed after him as he watched Sesshomaru start to undress, taking the potion his mother had given him and placing it to the side of the smaller futon within the new room. Inuyasha stood at the doorway, feeling slightly awkward with this whole situation, not sure exactly what he was supposed to do. He felt his anxieties build up again, the fear of messing up and losing his pup coming back full force. Was this supposed to be his bed away from Sesshomaru and the pup? Did Sesshomaru not want to share a bed with him? Was this a way for Sesshomaru to tell him that, while he was allowing him to interact with the pup, that he would never  _ really  _ be part of their life? 

He found himself hoping that they were going to have sex, not necessarily because he wanted to have sex with Sesshomaru but because it was far more familiar ground by now and was a way to take his mind off all of there insecurities. It would also easier to fall asleep with the post-sex exhaustion to help, especially if he was being left alone in this room.

“Are you expecting again?” He found himself asking, knowing sex would be off the table if he was. Sesshomaru hesitated, seemingly having not expected Inuyasha to speak up. He was down to just his under-clothes as he finally looked over at Inuyasha who was still hovering in the doorway. 

“No.” He replied carefully, studying Inuyasha as if trying to figure something out, his eyes narrow. “I was informed that it is near impossible to become pregnant while one is producing milk and given that the wolf tribes information I felt it was long past time I weaned the pup.”

“Oh.” Inuyasha answered, shuffling slightly, not sure what else to say. He watched as Sesshomaru leaned down and picked up the potion and held it out to him. After a moment he moved forward, closing the door behind him, and took it while Sesshomaru continued to undress. 

“That is a fertility potion, the same one my mother used to finally conceive me. It was what eventually allowed her a successful pregnancy.” Sesshomaru informed him as Inuyasha held up the bottle and studied the contents. 

“Are you sure you need this?” He asked softly, swishing the liquid, “I mean you got pregnant pretty quickly the first time around and if it was only the whole milk thing keeping you from getting pregnant again don’t you think this is a bit overkill?”

Sesshomaru snatched the potion back and Inuyasha looked up to see that his brother was now fully undressed and giving him a blank look.

“If it is overkill then so be it. I would rather ensure a conception then continue to fail for the next thousand years.”

Inuyasha pursed his lips at that but relented. Who the hell was he to make this decision for Sesshomaru anyway? He watched as Sesshomaru downed the potion and Inuyasha got undressed, carefully putting his borrowed clothes aside before moving to join Sesshomaru on the futon where he had already laid out.

Sex this time was almost good. Inuyasha realized he was actually learning what his brother liked and found himself  _ proud _ when he managed to pull a gasp or a pleasured expression from him. That thought was quickly followed by disgust though and he forced himself to remember that this was only to create children. Pleasure was not meant to be there and so he forced that thought from his mind and focused on simply getting through with this, his mind carefully blank.

He had expected, once they were done, that Sesshomaru would simply push him off and leave, but it seemed he really had let his anxieties get the better of him. He watched, sleepily, as Sesshomaru grabbed a set of yukata that he hadn’t noticed had been set out for them beside the bed. He was annoyed as Sesshomaru threw the garment at him and started grumbling before Sesshomaru’s words reached his ears: “If you plan to join me and the pup in the main bed then you better put that on.”

By the time he had registered that he  _ wasn’t  _ going to be left in the side room to sleep, Sesshomaru was already gone and Inuyasha had to stumble up to follow him as he quickly pulled the yukata on. Sesshomaru had already gotten over to the bed by the time Inuyasha had followed after and watched as his brother removed his pelt and placed it around the futon creating an almost nest; big enough for three. It took a moment to realize that this was actually happening. That he really wasn’t being left in the side room, which could only mean- 

“You had an extra room added for us to have  _ sex _ in?” He asked softly to not wake their pup as a mixture of shock and, oddly enough,  _ joy _ went through him at the realization. He wasn’t being excluded!

Sesshomaru simply shot him a glare and settled back on his legs to look up at him. “If you do not wish to join us you can  _ return  _ to that room and  _ stay there. _ ” he shot back, also in a whisper, which Inuyahsa took as a sign that he probably shouldn’t push things any further that night.

Sesshomaru settled to one side of the pup and Inuyasha hesitated for a second before he moved to take the place set up for him on the other side. The joy from earlier was still there, elevated by the joy of being able to be  _ here _ with him pup and sharing in this moment. He still felt a little out of his depths, a little on edge, like one wrong step could ruin all of this, but, at least in this moment, he felt like he had done something  _ right.  _

He fell asleep with a smile. 


	11. The Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are coming to a close with this story! only one more chapter to go! I hope you have enjoyed the ride so far

###  CHAPTER 11: THE DAWN

They were both woken up in the early morning just as the sun had started to rise, coloring the sky faintly, to the sound of their pup whimpering between them. Sesshomaru was already sitting up, looking immaculate as ever even though he had been started awake, and was carefully petting Gengetsu trying to figure out what was wrong. Inuyasha shifted up, rubbing at his eyes and looking at the pup himself, trying too to see what was going on in the dim light of morning. 

“What’s wrong?” Inuyasha asked, still groggy as Sesshomaru continued to touch the pup, his movements becoming slightly frantic and Gengetsu only started to cry out louder in obvious distress. 

“If I knew of the issue I would have fixed it already.” Sesshomaru hissed at him, started to press against the pups skin looking for any sore spots as the pups crying continued to grow. Inuyasha was starting to panic too, his ears standing tall and his hair prickling as the pup cried out. Inuyasha looked too, trying to find any sign of blood, but instead what he saw was-

Was the pup shrinking?

He glanced up and out towards the windows that faced east from there room and felt a moment of clarity which was quickly replaced by panic. “Sesshomaru?” He asked, almost breathless. “Was the pup born during the day or night?”

“What kind of inane question is that?” Sesshomaru snarled, fully panicked now as the pup started to howl in pain and Inuyasha moved to desperately try and muffle it. They couldn’t let people know. Especially not the ones in the palace. They couldn’t  _ know! _

“An important one!” He snarled back, noticing that Sesshomaru had finally noticed their pups shrinking size, his eyes wide like Inuyasha had never seen them. 

“Day.” He said softly, seeming to realize exactly what Inuyasha was getting at as both turned to look at the first edge of the sun rising over the horizon. 

“They’re transforming.” Inuyasha breathed, watching in shock as their pup vanished, leaving in its place a small desperately crying child. 

“Oh. My pup.” Sesshomaru breathed out, looking down at the child and Inuyasha was left in slight shock as he watched Sesshomaru lean down to nuzzle at the child, trying to calm them with small noises that Inuyasha realized were purely inu. It was the sound of a parent trying desperately to soothe their young. Inuyasha could feel Sesshomaru’s pelt moving around them, tightening in desperation and he realized, too, that Sesshomaru didn’t know what to do. That he was  _ panicking. _

“Sesshomaru-“ he said softly, laying a soft hand on his brother's shoulder only to start as he was snarled at, his brother's eyes flashing red. “Sesshomaru, let me help. Please. I know how to help.” He pushed. And he  _ did _ he knew how to take care of human kids, he knew what these transformations felt like. He could help if only Sesshomaru would let him close. He tried to look non-threatening, his ears flattening on his head as he ducked it slightly, trying to remind Sesshomaru that this was  _ his _ pup too. 

It seemed to be enough and slowly Sesshomaru’s expression became his usual blank one. He didn’t say anything as he backed off from where he had been hovering over their child and finally Inuyasha could reach out and pull their now human child into his arms. The babe was still crying, desperate and scared even though Inuyasha knew that the worst of the pain would have passed. He started to rock them, humming softly a song he remembered from his childhood even as the baby continued to cry. Sesshomaru was still sitting next to them, watching them carefully, but Inuyasha paid him no mind as he tried to quiet the kid. He didn’t have time to second guess himself or deal with Sesshomaru’s scrutiny. Right now  _ he _ knew what to do and he was going to be a damn parent. 

He also took this time to study Gengetsu, to see how they looked as a human. Their hair was dark black but had a curl to it that was surprising. At least before he remembered that Inu no Taisho had had a head of curly hair that Inuyasha himself had inherited. His hair always lost its curl on his human night though, transforming into his mother's straight flowing locks, so he had assumed this child would have been the same. 

He wondered if his child’s demon form would have curly hair too, when they were finally able to transform.

It took a few long tense minutes before the child had finally started to settle, letting out hiccupped cries rather than full out screams and, after a moment, started to drift back to sleep. Inuyasha found himself desperately wanting to see his child’s eyes, to see if they were violet like his own as a human or if that, too, had changed with the addition of Sesshomaru’s blood.

“We must inform my mother.” Sesshomaru said, also seeming to have calmed now that the baby had quieted and Inuyasha felt a surge of panic flow through him at those words as he let off a sharp “no!” without thinking.

Sesshomaru too seemed startled by the, rather violent, outburst and his eyes jumped from Gengetsu up to Inuyasha’s eyes. “Inuyasha she must know-“ Sesshomaru tried to press only to hesitate as Inuyasha pulled their child close to his chest, trying to hide it.

“No! No you don’t understand!” Inuyasha breathed out, “ _ No one  _ can know when their human transformation is. No one!” Letting anyone, especially a demon, means certain death. They couldn’t let anyone know!

Inuyasha watched as Sesshomaru seemed to actually consider his words, thinking them over. There was something in his gaze, below the still edges of panic, that Inuyasha couldn’t quite decipher with his own panic clouding his mind. Eventually though he heard Sesshomaru let out a soft sigh. “Inuyasha she must know.” he said softly on, “I...understand your worry and I am no fan of my mother either, but today was meant to be the showing to the vassals.” he reminded him, “We cannot hide this from her and she is the only one who can order to postpone the festivities. This must be done.”

Inuyasha swallowed and only held his child tighter, watching Sesshomaru with worry. Sesshomaru didn’t move either for a long moment, simply watching him, both of them, as he cradled their sleeping babe in terror. Inuyasha tensed when he finally did move, sitting forward slightly and grabbing his tail only to then wrap it around Inuyasha’s shoulders and lap. 

“How long is this likely to last?” He asked as he bundled them up, Inuyahsa’s eye following his movements carefully even though he kept trying to tell himself that Sesshomaru wouldn’t do anything to his own pup. He  _ wouldn’t.  _

“Probably until sunset.” Inuyasha said, trembling slightly as Sesshomaru’s tail tightened around him. 

Sesshomaru stood then, looking reluctant to do so before he straightened his yukata and vanished in a burst of speed. Inuyasha closed his eyes tightly and curled in around Gengetsu before tugging Sesshomaru’s tail even closer to hide the child within the fur. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew Sesshomaru had gone to see his mother and in the back of his mind he knew that Sesshomaru was right to do so, but he couldn’t help but panic; waiting for the worst. 

————

Sesshomaru returned far sooner than Inuyasha had expected, having gone for what couldn’t have been more than five minutes, and watched hesitantly as Sesshomaru moved to join him back on their bed. 

“I’ve sent Jaken to retrieve my mother and dismiss the staff within the compound.” He said as he settled in, his face was back to its perfect regulated blankness but there was still an edge of tense worry around his eyes. “Jaken will be the only servant allowed within the premises until further notice.” He informed Inuyasha before hesitantly trying to reach for their kid. Inuyasha tensed at the move, reluctant to hand them over though and after a moment Sesshomaru’s hands dropped, looking at their kid sadly.

“I had thought they had been spared this.” He mumbled, leaning closer and reaching out once more, though this time simply to move his tail-fur aside so he could properly see the child.

Inuyasha swallowed, trying to tell himself that Sesshomaru wouldn’t harm the kid. That he wouldn’t kill them because of this. That Sesshomaru  _ knew _ this was a possibility and had to have planned for it...right? “Ya well, once a year isn’t as bad as once a month.” He mumbled as he continued to gently rock the baby, noticing the way Sesshomaru was watching their kid with apt curiosity. “You...know anything about human kids?” He asked softly, trying to force himself to relax, to talk, to get rid of his panic.

Sesshomaru seemed to hesitate at that before shaking his head. “I admit I...tried to observe the human woman in your village while I was carrying but found their actions more often strange than familiar. I had been...comforted when our pup was born in a true form and not-“

“Hanyou?”

“Yes.” Sesshomaru admitted, seeming to see nothing wrong with his words even as Inuyasha bristled slightly. He knew he shouldn’t have expected anything else but it still hurt, just a little, knowing that Sesshomaru had had a preference in the first place. Still, behind that agitation there was a small glimmer of  _ something  _ at the knowledge that Sesshomaru had been observing the village mothers just in case.

“Ya well,” Inuyasha mumbled softly as he rocked their now human kid, “guess luck wasn’t completely on your side.” 

————

Sesshomaru’s mother arrived much later, looking regal as ever and took one sniff of the room before seeming to realize what had happened. 

“Oh dear, how upsetting! Whatever shall we do?” She gasped, hand over her heart as she fell against the doorway, the response obviously acted out simply for drama though the fact that she seemed unsurprised by this development put Inuyasha on edge. During the wait Sesshomaru had managed to press himself against Inuyasha’s side, almost curling in around him as he tried to get closer and closer to the child in Inuyasha’s arms. He didn’t dare try to take the child, thankfully as Inuyasha wasn’t sure he would have been able to stop himself from lashing out in those first few tense moments, But he did become a little bolder in his exploration of their child’s new features, lightly running his fingers through their hair and over their new face.

“What we shall do is postpone the celebration.” Sesshomaru insisted, looking at his mother though not moving away from the almost-cuddle pile they had found themselves in. His voice was as unimpressed by her antics as always.

she huffed from the doorway, looking all of them over with a twinkle in her eye that said she was  _ amused _ . “Well what do you want me to tell them? I hardly doubt you want me to tell them the truth. Inuyasha is very aware of just how deadly that can be aren’t you  _ dear~ _ ” she cooed at him and Inuyasha tensed, once more pulling Gengetsu close to his chest and feeling oddly comforted when he felt Sesshomaru’s tail tighten too, fully hiding their child once more.

“I do not care what lie you make up, just do so. Inuyasha has informed me that this should only last until sunset.” Sesshomaru insisted, looking over to Inuyasha in a silent command to confirm his words.

“If it works like mine then ya.” Inuyasha offered up, hating being used like this in what he  _ knew _ could end an argument between Sesshomaru and his mom, no matter how civil they were being right now. He didn’t want any kind of fight around his very-human kid at that moment.

Sesshomaru’s mom huffed, crossing her arms and making a show of being put off by the whole thing. “Oh if we must, but we’re still having our family breakfast. I want to see what my granddaughter looks like as a human. I’m sure it’s very entertaining.” She turned to go before Sesshomaru called out to her.

“If we are to have breakfast then we will have it _ here  _ in this wing. Send Jaken to me, he  _ alone _ will be serving us.”

“You trust that kappa far too much.” The Lady of the West insisted but Sesshomaru ignored her bite and didn’t honor her with a response as he turned and left.

As Sesshomaru relaxed beside him he couldn’t help but think that this was going to be a very very long day.

————

Breakfast turned out to be a lot less somber than Inuyasha expected, in part due to Rin gushing over the baby and in part due to Sesshomaru’s mom insisting that she get to hold the child which led mostly to her hair getting tugged and messed up. 

It had taken Inuyasha a long while to finally relax enough to let the child out of his arms, prompted in part by the kid waking up and squirming to get out. He had, reluctantly, let them go before his fear was somewhat replaced by amusement as the kid tried to figure out their new appendages and, more often than not, ended up smacking themself in the face. 

Sesshomaru, though he didn’t show it, had also seemed amused as their child’s new antics and, after a while, Inuyasha had dared to show Sesshomaru how to properly hold and carry their one-year-old so that they could all get ready for breakfast. Sesshomaru had still been a little out-of-water during the whole thing, obviously terrified of holding the child too tightly but he also, to Inuyasha’s shock, seemed genuinely  _ happy _ when he eventually got it right.

Which didn’t last long once their child figured out how to grab  _ hair. _

“Are all human babies like this?” The Lady of the West asked, trying to extract her own hair from the one-year olds grip as the child tried to eat it. 

“Mostly ya.” Inuyasha answered, trying to remember to swallow before talking while also trying to show Sesshomaru how to properly mash-up vegetables for the baby. “That’s what happens with kids that have hands, they like to grab and pull everything.” 

“How annoying.” She mumbled, passing the child to Sesshomaru who quickly took them, still looking nervous about the whole thing but having learned to keep his hair behind his shoulders so the child couldn't grab it. “Really, and here I thought having puppies that like to eat everything was terrible. How do human mothers deal with such things?”

“Um.” Inuyasha started, taking the mashed-up vegetables from Sesshomaru who now had his arms full of squirming one-year old, and instead tried to make sure there were no big pieces left so that they could try to feed the kid. “I think they are just used to it. Like...they all know other women with kids and kind of just learn things from them I guess. Kaede also tries to teach new mothers things but I didn’t really pay much attention until my friends had their kids.”

At that point the child managed to squirm out of Sesshomaru’s hold, likely because Sesshomaru was still terrified of holding the kid too tightly, unsure of his strength versus his now human child. The baby started to crawl around the floor, obviously having not yet learned to walk seeing as, up until a few hours ago it had been a happily four legged pup, and moved to the other end of the table where Rin was. 

“I think it’s the hairlessness that gets me.” Sesshomaru’s mother commented, watching the child as it tried to bite at Rin. Sesshomaru seemed to want to nod in agreement but held back as he watched the two children interact, Rin having her own experiences with children younger than her in the village.

“You realize that you are currently in a human-like form right? That is also hairless?” Inuyasha mumbled and the Lady of the west waved a hand at him, as if dismissing the thought. 

“Yes yes, but I am much older and always looked like this.” She said indicating to her body and Inuyasha was reminded, again, that inuyoukis’ human forms had more in common with illusions than anything else which likely meant they did not  _ age. “ _ She is so...tiny like this. Like a tiny shaved...thing. Are you certain she isn’t cold?” She asked for the fourth time. 

Given that they had had no clothing for anyone so small anywhere in the palace Inuyasha had reluctantly given up his own garb, knowing that the fire-rat robes would shrink to fit the small child. He now understood why his father had had it made for him; the old man probably had just as little idea of how human children looked and had no idea what size inuyasha would be when born. It was almost hilarious to think of his father trying to figure it out before deciding ‘screw it’ and commissioning a robe that shrunk or grew to fit the one wearing it. 

“I’m sure.” Inuyasha insisted as he watched his child try to grab food from Rin’s plate, obviously having fun with their newly acquired hands “that thing kept me warm no matter what the weather was, their fine.” 

Sesshomarue’s mom simply hummed at that and sipped her morning tea before looking at her son. 

“So, did you use my potion last night then?” She prompted Inuyasha to blush at the bluntness of the question. Sesshomaru glared, obviously just as put off by the question too.

“I hardly think that is any of your concern mother.” 

“That would be a yes then. Well, we can only hope that we will have a happy announcement soon, if you actually bother to  _ tell _ us this time.”

That caught Inuyasha’s attention as he sat slightly straighter. “Sesshomaru didn’t let you know he was expecting?” Inuyasha asked, surprised. 

“He didn’t let us know until months after the child's birth!” The Lady of the West huffed, crossing her arms in a show of annoyance “If i couldn’t smell your human blood within the child’s veins I would have been worried my son had gone off and had an affair!”

Inuyasha looked over at Sesshomaru, not knowing if he should be pissed or laugh. Sesshomaru just sipped his drink and didn’t meet any of their eyes.

“Well I’m glad to hear that I wasn’t the only person Sesshomaru screwed over.” Inuyasha said, taking a bite of his food. “I had to find out the kid had been born from  _ Myoga _ months after the fact!”

Sesshomaru’s mother's laugh was a high bark and Inuyasha felt oddly accomplished by that.

————

They retired back to their bedroom, the baby hidden carefully in Sesshomaru’s fur and quickly closed the doors behind them. Since the staff from the whole wing had been ordered to leave, their bed was still present and Inuyasha decided to move back over to it, laying out on the mat. Honestly a day in bed sounded pretty great.

Their kid had other plans though and Inuyasha quickly started to hate the child’s grabby hands as much as Sesshomaru. They seemed to get a hold of everything. If they weren’t tugging on Inuyasha’s hair they were breaking a priceless vase or toppling one of Sesshomaru’s armor displays. It seemed impossible to keep the kids hands off anything and, with a sound of frustration Sesshomaru wrapped the kid in his tail and desperately tried to get them to take some kind of nap while Inuyasha was forced to clean broken porcelain off the ground so the kid wouldn’t hurt themself.

Sesshomaru failed to get their squirming child to sleep, though Inuyasha was treated to the very strange sound of an inu lullaby which he had mistaken as Sesshomaru growling at their kid when it had started. He had been worried it would scare them in their human state, given that they couldn’t understand it like this, but they had stared up at him with wide violet eyes before smacking him with their grubby little human hands and trying to squirm out of his hold again.

They did eventually take a nap, but it wasn’t until Jaken, assisted by Rin, dropped off lunch.

“Thank Kami.” Inuyasha sighed as their child curled up sleeping on the bed, Sesshomaru’s pelt once again wrapped around them. He heard Sesshomaru grunt, taking that as agreement, and turned his attention to him.

Inuyasha hadn’t seen Sesshomaru look anything but immaculate for most of his life, and the only time he hadn't been was when he had been severely injured by Naraku’s minions. But those had been battle injuries. What Sesshomaru was now was a mess. Inuyasha held his hands to his mouth to keep from laughing. His brother’s hair has been tangled by their child’s hands trying to pull it and use it as a climbing tool. At some point his kimono had loosened and fallen open slightly and he hadn’t had time to fix it, his clothing was dirtied with mushed up food that their child had flung left and right around the room during lunch, and he genuinely looked exhausted.

Inuyasha had a shockingly odd urge to kiss him. 

And why shouldn’t he? He thought to himself suddenly. They were married. Why  _ shouldn't  _ he?

Memories tried to push themselves into his mind but he forced them away. He knew what they were and he didn’t  _ want _ to think of the past. He wanted to be here, in this moment, with a Sesshomaru who was a mess because he was trying to be a good parent to his  _ hanyou  _ kid. A Sesshomaru that had let Inuyasha teach him how to hold their now human child, who had learned to mash up food for them, how to feed them and play with them and had genuinely seemed to  _ try _ .

He wouldn’t let his memories of the past, of all the  _ other _ emotions this scene tried to pull up, ruin this moment.

He was at Sesshomaru’s side without really realizing he had moved and, in a moment, was has pressed a hard kiss to Sesshomaru’s cheek. His brother seemed surprised by this move but didn’t say anything as he let Inuyasha press a few more kisses to his skin.

“Do you think the potion worked last night?” Inuyasha asked, voice slightly more breathless then he had meant it to come out and he could  _ feel _ the way Sesshomaru tensed and hesitated, reading the words for what they really were: an excuse to come together again.

It was the first time Inuyasha’s voice had made it obvious that he wanted this for more than giving Sesshomaru children. He didn’t know how his brother would respond and he didn’t want to look and see, instead he kept his face in the crook of Sesshomaru’s neck, waiting to either be drawn closer or shoved away. Because of it Inuyasha could feel the way Sesshomaru’s jaw clenched and unclenched as if warring with himself before finally answering.

“It’s probably best to be sure.”

They didn’t go to the side room this time, both too terrified to leave their kid properly alone, nor did they get fully undressed. Somehow though it still seemed to be the best sex they had had.

————

They had dozed after, their child having exhausted both of them far more then the sex, but we’re eventually woken by the sound of their kid babbling and crying as it tried to escape Sesshomaru’s living pelt. He felt Sesshomaru flinch around the same time their kid went quiet and Inuyasha knew that his tail had just gotten bitten.

Inuyasha smirked and extracted himself from Sesshomaru, straightening the youkata that he had been given since his kid needed the fire rat robe more than him, and moved to sweep the kid up in his arms. He was feeling oddly...happy as he threw their one-year old up in the air, just a little, hearing the kid let out a startled laugh as he did it again.

“No biting your father’s tail.” He reprimanded, bopping the kid on the nose who automatically tried to bite it in baby-inu fashion. “It’s his weak point you know.” He teased, nuzzling the kid and glancing over at Sesshomaru who had yet to get up. He was watching them though, leaning up on his elbow and giving them a perfectly unreadable look that had Inuyasha wanting to kiss him  _ again _ .

This was getting ridiculous. He knew he was fast to fall in love but  _ this _ was completely unreasonable. Sesshomaru was  _ Sesshomaru. _ He should not be feeling anything close to love for the bastard. He forced the feelings away, telling himself that it was only an instinctual reaction to seeing Sesshomaru being a good parent, and focused back on his child, the whole reason he had made this trip and told his friends everything in the first place.

“You think the bathhouse might be safe,” he asked after a moment. “We could all use a long soak.” 

He heard Sesshomaru start to move and shift and he looked up to see him fixing his own yukata. “As long as Jaken did his job, which I am sure he did, our whole compound should be safe. Still, I will go first to check.” He told him before vanishing in a burst of speed.

He returned quickly enough and nodded to Inuyasha who placed the child back in Sesshomaru’s pelt as an extra precaution to hide them before following the inuyouki to the bathhouse on the lower floor of the compound.

He expected to go to the small room that they had been in the day before which had contained a simple wooden bath but it seemed Sesshomaru had had other plans as he skipped that room and led them deeper into the compound until they came to a large room with an artificial hot spring in the center filling the area with steam. Around the pool though were bamboo pipes which looked like they could be pulled down along with benches under them. Sesshomaru quickly got himself undressed before turning to take Gengetsu from him so he could do similarly. Once they were all undressed, Inuyasha moved towards the hot spring only to be stopped by Sesshomaru’s hand on his shoulder. 

“We must wash off first.” He instructed, indicating to one of the benches and Inuyasha growled in annoyance.

“Ya no shit, that’s what I was about to do.”

Sesshomaru risked in annoyance and the hand in his shoulder tightened, guiding him away from the pool and towards the bench. “You are uncouth. We are not in the wilderness nor in a human settlement. Sit and I will show you.” He instructed, forcing Inuyasha to take a seat and handed their child back to him. He indicated to the different cleaning tools around them, from brushes to combs to soaps for both the body and hair along with oils to smooth things out.

Inuyasha suddenly had a feeling they were going to be here a while.

Still, Inuyasha watched as Sesshomaru cleaned himself, trying to take note of what everything was, before watching in surprise as Sesshomaru tugged on the rope connected to the bamboo above him and watched as water, cool and clear poured from it onto Sesshomaru’s head, fully rinsing him off of everything he had just placed on his hair and body.

With his hair still wet, Sesshomaru started to brush it out, the act likely taking far longer than he expected given the state of it and, by the time he was done, Gengetsu was fussing in Inuyasha's lap. Sesshomaru took a moment to tie up His hair in a high bun, something they both probably should have done ages ago, and reached out for their child. 

“I’ll wash them while you wash.” He instructed switching places with Inuyasha. He would have Inuyasha pass him each cleaning object as he finished with them, washing the baby as best he could with them continuing to squirm. When Inuyasha was done, with heavy criticism from Sesshomaru at how fast he had been, he handed Gengetsu back to him and directed him under the pipe. “I’ll get the water flowing, make sure to rinse them off fully.” 

Gengetsu ended up rinsed clean far sooner then Inuyasha and Sesshomaru took them back from him after he let the bamboo poll bob back up, cutting off the flow of water. 

“I will take them to the hot springs. You can join us when you are done. Please remember to put up your hair.” He instructed as he left Inuyasha to finish up.

He grumbled but did as he was told, having a far harder time then Sesshomaru with getting his unruly hair brushed and up on his head, but he did eventually manage to join them, only after initially shaking himself out like the half-dog he was. 

“Inuyasha you are not a puppy.” Sesshomaru reprimanded him as he slid into the hot spring with them. Inuyasha ignored the comment easily, though mostly because his attention was pulled to the sound of their kid laughing happily at the show. 

“You know, I don’t think I’ve heard them laugh before today.” he commented lightly, reaching out a clawed finger to brush aside some of Gengetsu’s curly black hair from their face.

“You have,” Sesshomaru replied, eyes on Inuyahsa’s hand but not seeming to mind the movement. “Though you probably wouldn’t have recognized it as such. You seem to be deficient in the language of dogs.”

“Ya? And who’s fault is that?” bit back, tensing that the reminder. He was enjoying today, oddly and unexpectedly, and the sudden reminder of his  _ deficiencies  _ was unwelcome. “Not like  _ anyone  _ at the palace couldn’t have picked me up at  _ any _ time.” He huffed, “Not like  _ you _ couldn’t have given a damn and actually tried to, you know,  _ teach me. _ ”

“After our marriage you were welcome to return here whenever you pleased.” Sesshomaru responded, eyes narrowing as he seemed to pick up on Inuyasha’s sudden change in emotions. 

“Ya. Sure.” He snorted and rolled his eyes, “Because that wouldn’t have just set me up to be killed while I slept.” He grumbled, wanting to take their kid from Sesshomaru’s arms as a way to comfort himself. “I’m surprised no one has tried yet,” Inuyasha went on, trying to bring back the emotions from earlier, the emotions that had driven him to  _ want _ Sesshomaru, “They seemed keen on trying as soon as the wedding was over.”

“Did someone attempt something in your life after the wedding?” Sesshomaru asked, sounding as genuine in his curiosity as he ever did.

“Ya. At least I think so.” Inuyasha said, trying to focus on the warmth of the water before giving up on his anxiety and reaching out for his kid. He wanted to hold them. No.  _ needed _ to. Surprisingly, Sesshomaru did not resist the move and let Inuyasha take Gengetsu from his arms. “There had been some snacks placed out for me in my room when I got there,” He explained after he had settled with the kid on his own lap, feeling some of his tension leave, “I’m pretty sure they were poisoned. I wouldn’t have eaten them anyway but given the amount of people that were pissed off at our union I was pretty sure they were poisoned.”

“‘Pissed off’ is a bit of an understatement little brother,” Sesshomaru mumbled, his eyes mostly on their child as he reached out and let them grab at one of his fingers. “our marriage started a war with the south. Again.”

Inuyahsa couldn’t help but laugh at that reminder, the tension in the room dissipating slightly at the sound. “If I remember correctly that  _ war _ started with an assassination attempt against me  _ and _ if I also remember correctly you were  _ happy _ to kill the perpetrator.”

“Yes.” Sesshomaru agreed, that almost-smile he got whenever he killed someone particularly annoying coming to his lips. “The Uwabami Prince was very persistent in his advances towards me. The fact that he had managed to install spy’s within our staff in an attempt to find ways to woo me was particularly disturbing. It was nice to finally have an excuse to kill him.”

“Would you have been married to him,” He asked after a long moment of silence. “You know, if you hadn’t been forced to marry me instead?” Inuyasha went on, wondering suddenly what life Sesshomaru would have had if he hadn’t been forced to marry him. Who he would have been with and if they would have had to have struggled this much. 

Sesshomaru seemed to hesitate at that question and glanced away, though Inuyasha could tell it was because he was thinking and not because of any kind of emotion regarding the question.

“I am...unsure. He was certainly a top choice for a suitor, though not the top seeing as he was not an inu. There had been talk, too, of me marrying an inuyouki from the mainland, to bring the two groups together, but if I remember correctly negotiations had always been tense with little give from either party. No inuyouki in our own palace had yet proven themselves worthy of me like my father had done for my mother but I think my mother had been hopeful that one might eventually,” Inuyasha saw a small frown tug at his lips, “I had no say in it of course, in the end it would be my mother's decision and no one else’s.”

“Did you have someone?” he asked after a moment, genuinely curious if there was someone he had stolen Sesshomaru away from, someone that he had hoped to marry. Maybe a soldier in his father’s ranks that he hoped might prove themselves one day? Someone he met up with in secret? Perhaps that was also why Sesshomaru hated Kagome and his relationship so much; because Inuyasha had already ruined Sesshomaru’s chance with someone he loved before he was even old enough to realize it. 

That idea was quickly smashed through as Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and obviously had to hold back from some kind of more extreme emotional reaction. “Hardly.” he said, “I had no interest in anyone nor do I have any interest in anyone now. If you are worried of someone  _ stealing me away _ you needn't. I would much rather-” he started but seemed to catch himself, his mouth open around words that would not come before he carefully closed his mouth and looked away once more.

Inuyasha tried to open his mouth to reply, to ask what he had been about to say, but all that came out was “we should get going. Kaede always told us not to let the kids stay in the hot springs too long. Something about them getting too hot.” They both looked down to their kid who had a slight redness to their cheeks.

“Very well.” Sesshomaru agreed as they both got out of the hot water.

————————— 

Another nap time followed the bath, the warm water seeming to sooth the kid and making them a little groggy. Inuyasha was a little surprised when Sesshomaru asked to leave Inuyasha with the child, saying that he wanted to go speak with his mother about the re-scheduling of events but that he would be back before sunset. Inuyasha knew the conversation and emotions from in the bathhouse were still fresh in both of their minds and Inuyasha wondered if this was an excuse from Sesshomaru to get a moment alone to think. He wasn’t sure what was on Sesshomaru’s mind but he knew what was on his own: a swirl of fear and love and confusion that was consuming him with worry. 

Still, as Sesshomaru left Inuyasha realized that they had made it through the whole day together and, on top of that,  _ he _ had made it through almost the whole day of being a  _ dad!  _ He couldn't help but feel good about that fact.

There had been a part of him that had expected Sesshomaru to not let him do anything but follow him and the pup around. Hell, maybe that had even been Sesshomaru’s plan during this visit. But with their child’s transformation and Inuyasha’s greater knowledge of human children, he had been able to be far more hands-on today. And now...now Sesshomaru was actually leaving him alone with their kid. And, ya, okay, Sesshomaru was doing it because he was obviously going through some  _ emotional issues _ himself but that didn’t erase the fact that he was actually  _ trusting _ him with Gengetsu. 

He smiled softly as he sat next to their kid, petting gently through their hair. It might not mean anything, Sesshomaru might not even have really realized what he had done, but very suddenly it felt like he had passed the test, real or not. That he had proven he could be trusted to be a parent to their kid. That he had shown Sesshomaru that he could do this and that he was worth keeping around.”

It felt very much like dawn was breaking.


	12. A New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we finally get Sesshomaru's POV and some hope for the future

###  CHAPTER 12: A New Day

Sesshomaru had not let himself dwell on his deal with Inuyasha after he left Totosai’s hut. Either Inuyasha would tell his human companions or he would not. Still, even with that thought, it did not keep the surprise, and something else he could not identify, from flowing through him when he saw Inuasha arrive at the western palace for their child's first birthday. He did not let his surprise show of course, but he had to admit to himself that he had expected his brother to choose the humans over their arranged marriage. He had no reason to assume otherwise after all, and the realization that he had not done so left Sesshomaru feeling oddly off balance and unsure how to proceed as unknown emotions tried to force their way forward in his mind.

He pushed them back, not having time nor wanting to look too deeply at them as he approached the group. If this was the decision that Inuyasha had made then Sesshomaru was honor bound to hold up his end of the deal. Inuyasha would be welcomed here and he would be permitted to take part in their child's life: no matter how much the prospect still put Sesshomaru on edge. Inuyasha had proven himself. He had no choice now but to allow this to happen until their child could choose for themself.

He had tried to be as accommodating as he possibly could, attempting to stifle his own unease and agitation at the situation. There was nothing more he could do besides ensure that Inuyasha was properly instructed on all the things a growing pup would need. It was slightly disconcerting to see how little the other knew about raising a puppy, but Sesshomaru forced himself to see Inuyasha’s seemingly endless questions as his attempt to learn rather than a show of ignorance. And so the first day had gone just like that, a string of questions where both of them danced around each other on edge, Inuyasha testing Sesshomaru’s limits as he interacted with both him and the pup. He had to wonder what the other was thinking with each hesitant pet that he gave to their child, did he think that Sesshomaru was going to lash out? That he would keep the hanyou from interacting with their child even now? Did he think Sesshomaru had such little honor? 

It was annoying and it grated on him, nearly coming to a head when Inuyasha had shown surprise that he was expected to now sleep in their family bed, thankfully though Inuyasha had shown an unexpected bit of restraint and did not push the matter as he took his place. 

And then the sun rose. 

Sesshomaru had not been expecting it and, in truth, that first hour after their child's transformation was a blur to anxiety and fear, made worse by the way Inuyasha clung to their now human babe. Sesshomaru was now the one feeling out of his depth, and oh he could feel the irony is such a thing as he tried to hold his child that morning. Had he not just thought the day before that Inuyasha had lacked skill in raising a pup? Yet, there he was, too fearful of harming his child to hold them properly. Inuyasha had not teased him though, much to Sesshomaru’s surprise, and instead truly seemed to want to help. It was strange, and Sesshomaru found himself watching Inuyasha more and more as the day went on, as if he could somehow understand the change that had overcome the other. Was it simply their child’s transformation that had brought this on? Or was Inuyasha truly this parental and attentive and he simply hadn’t seen it? Or perhaps it was that he hadn’t allowed it. It was an odd thought that made those unknown emotions surge in him once more.

They had had sex then, in the middle of the day when the exhaustion of caring for their child had been pressing heavy on both their shoulders. Sesshomaru knew he was a mess, something he hadn’t been since he was a pup, and the way Inuyasha had approached him, kissed him, pressed close to him after everything had sent a shock through his system. Sesshomaru had been acutely aware in that moment that Inuyasha had wanted him, that Inuyasha’s movements against him hadn’t been for the simple need to conceive but for pleasure. 

He could have told the hanyou no. He knew he probably should have. That he shouldn’t encourage such behavior from the other. He could have pushed him away and Inuyasha wouldn’t have been able to force the issue. 

But he hadn’t. For some reason he hadn’t. 

The image of Inuyasha after, once they had awoken from their light slumber, had burned itself into his mind. The way he had swept their child up into his arms and tossed them gently in the air, drawing a human laugh from their lips. His eyes followed the smile on their child’s new face, the unknown lines of it, before his eyes were drawn to Inuyasha’s more familiar features and the unexpected happiness radiating from him. He couldn’t help but think that the image looked  _ right.  _ He had found himself staring at the two of them, gaze locked even as Inuyasha caught his look. He couldn’t pull his eyes away, even as Inuyasha's gaze shifted from joy to  _ want _ .  _ _ Would Inuyasha approach him again? He wondered. Their child was awake now, they had no time for Inuyasha to give into his obvious need, but perhaps he would kiss him again? Or bite at his neck? A promise for more later?

Only the touch didn’t come and Sesshomaru was left to wonder why the thought of Inuyasha touching him once more didn’t send a flood of revulsion through his body. Was left to wonder when that shift had occurred. How their laying together that afternoon had been different from all the others, but perhaps not as different as he expected. He let his mind remember the night before where there had been a building warmth if only for a moment. The time before that as well, just outside Totosai’s volcano, where Inuyasha’s touch had felt like a goodbye. And the time even before that when the sex had felt like a claiming and a reassurance all at once. When the sex had been just as much for conceiving as it had been to avoid confrontation. He hadn’t been willing to admit it to himself then, but looking back at it now, looking back for that thread of revulsion that had once tainted their interactions, he realized that perhaps this had been coming for a while.

——

Inuyasha had suggested a bath and Sesshomaru consented, taking them to the indoor hot spring rather than just the baths. It was a small attempt to regain his composure and clear his thoughts. It had only just worked as he forced himself to concentrate on the here and now rather than his analysis of the past, when Inuyasha had brought up his past suters. It had been an odd topic of conversation as he hadn’t truly thought about any of them once his marriage to Inuyasha had been finalized. What would have been the point? Their place in his life no longer existed and he had been grateful to be rid of them. It had been one of the few true benefits on their union early on: that he no longer had to trouble himself with the prospect of marriage as he was now in one.

He had started to tell Inuyasha as much. His mouth forming along the words “I would much rather-” before he stopped, hesitating, as he realized that there were two different endings to that sentence. Both were demanding his attention and yet he couldn’t bring himself to say either. His mind full of words he had not expected to be there.

Inuyasha saved him from having to as he suggested they get out, but the air between them felt suddenly heavy as they walked back to their suite, Gengetsu wrapped snugly in his arms and tail as the unspoken words swirled around him

_ I would much rather be alone,  _ his mind echoed, the answer he had always given, the answer that had always been true. And yet, at the same time, another voice answered  _ I would much rather be here with you.  _

\---------------

He left them then, moving to do as he had told Inuyasha, though perhaps taking a bit of a longer route to do so. He needed time to think, to process and understand these new thoughts that were starting to enter into his head. Surely this couldn’t mean anything could it? These new realizations and thoughts. He thought back to his old suitors, many of whom he could hardly remember their name. He had had no interest in any of them, and even now that held true. The thought of giving himself to one of them as a spouse disgusted him, just as being with Inuyasha had disgusted him. The thought of being with one of them  _ now _ too disgusted him. That feeling of revulsion that he had been searching for earlier filling him once more, reminding him what it felt like.

Only then another image from earlier entered into his mind; the image in Inuyasha with their child and the sense of rightness it had brought. He tried to imagine any of the others in Inuyasha place, tried to imagine the same odd feelings that he had felt in that moment for any of them but all he felt was that continued disgust. He tried to pretend that both of those thoughts were meant to be an insult to the past demonic suitors; After all, what did it say about them that Sesshomaru would rather stomach the presence of his hated half-brother then them? But even he could not convince himself that that was the truth any longer. He did not lie, even to himself.

So what had changed? When had this shift truly taken place? Surely there was nothing different about Inuyasha. Inuyasha was showing himself to be an apt parent to their child but that shouldn’t have been enough to change hundreds of years of hatred, should it? So much of Sesshomaru’s hatred had stemmed from their father, and what hatred had been left over had been due to the perceived image of Inuyasha being just like their father. Of making the same choices their father had made and hurting their child as Sesshomaru had been hurt. 

And now...now he had an image of Inuyasha and their child burned into his mind, both happy and laughing as Inuyasha played with them and smiled. An image that had only been made possible because Inuyasha had chosen to make it possible. Had chosen to be a parent to their child. Had chosen a path their father had not.

He came to a stop in the palace gardens and simply stared, a realization now of what that unknown emotion had been. The one that had flowed through him in that moment as he watched Inuyasha with their child, and he was pinned down to realize it was  _ gratitude.  _ He was  _ thankful _ that Inuyasha had chosen this. Had chosen  _ them _ . He was thankful, in that moment, to see Inuyasha genuinely looking happy to be with their child, to play with their child, to treat them like they were not just an obligation. 

He was grateful to Inuyasha in that moment for being more than their father had ever been. 

\---------------

Sesshomaru’s mother had rescheduled the celebrations for that night, telling her subjects that she wanted a “celebration under the moon” and with the Lady of the West’s eccentricities no one had batted an eye to the change. Dinner was to come first, moved outside to properly enjoy the moon, followed by a presentation of gifts and a full celebration with music, dance, and fireworks.

It left Sesshomaru and Inuyasha in an awkward position of waiting anxiously to see if their child would  _ actually  _ transform back while  _ also _ hoping they stayed asleep long enough that they wouldn’t pass out during the celebrations. Not that anyone would find it odd if they did but it would make it awkward to carry them around as needed given the child’s size.

Thankfully with the setting of the sun came the expected transformation, though it was no less unsettling to see their child in pain a second time, there was a relief that they were back to themself. 

“Admit it.” Inuyasha had said to him, smiling over their child’s once again Inu-form, “You were terrified they wouldn’t turn back.”

Sesshomaru would admit to no such thing and had simply glared at him as he petted their child’s fur once more. Inuyasha had laughed at that, seeming to glow with high spirits and Sesshomaru wondered what had caused that change. 

————————-

The night passed with little fanfare, though perhaps that had more to do with the comparison of the chaos of day to the now night. They all dressed in their formal attire, Inuyasha hating, as always, the way the armor they stuck him in restricted his movements while Sesshomaru was simply thankful that he was not being forced back into a full junihitoe as he needed a larger range of movement for the celebration. The guests didn’t appear to find anything amiss as they steadily drank, danced, and sang late into the night.

Gengetsu had long since passed out by the time they were allowed to leave the celebration for their own quarters, fireworks filling the sky behind them as they did. Besides the sound of crackling and bangs of explosions, the trip back held a soft companionable silence, the same kind that often flowed between them after such events where they were forced, in a way, to be something they were not.

“They really are big.” He heard Inuyasha mumble as he looked over their child’s fur towards him. He had been forced to carry them the short distance to their family wing but even with the child’s large size he found he did not mind.

“It simply means that they are healthy. It is a good thing.” He replied as the doors to their room opened before them, servants rushing to help them along who Sesshomaru was quick to dismiss.

Inuyasha was silent at that as he moved ahead of him to prepare their bedding. “So I take it I passed the test?” Inuyasha asked him after a short moment of silence as he pulled back blankets and fluffed pillows before moving aside so Sesshomaru could put Gengetsu down

“Passed?” Sesshomaru asked, genuinely confused as he looked at Inuyasha as he gently laying their child in the center of the bed. His eyes were glued to his brother, as if Inuyasha’s physical appearance could explain what he was asking, “what are you talking about?”

“You know, the test that I can be a good dad to the kid.” Inuyasha said, waving his hand at their sleeping child as Sesshomaru himself stood up. “That, you know, I can,” he hesitated, “come back.”

Sesshomaru blinked again, his face carefully blank as he processed that, took in everything that Inuyasha had just said and asked before taking a step forward, feeling an odd mix of agitation and pride flow through him. He reached out, a hand coming to the clasp of Inuyasha’s armor as he carefully started to remove it.

“Inuyasha,” He said slowly as he worked to get the first clasp undone, “there was no test here. Do you think me so dishonorable that I would not hold up my end of our agreement?” He met Inuyasha’s gaze which seemed to be drinking him in. “You did as I requested already and, as such, I will uphold my end of the bargain. Until our child is old enough to choose for themselves you are their father.” he stopped, taking a step back as the armor fell from Inuyasha’s shoulders, the other just catching it in time to keep it from clashing to the floor. “But...if this had been a test,” he went on, looking his brother up and down, “then yes.” He admitted, “You would have passed it. You...have proven yourself to be a worthy father to our child.” 

\----------------

They got undressed silently after that, both of them taking care with their formal clothing, though Sesshomaru thought that, perhaps, a part of that had to do with the contemplative silence that filled the air after his words. Inuyasha didn’t seem to know what to say to that and Sesshomaru hadn’t known where to go from there and so he had taken to methodically removing and hanging his clothing as perfectly as possible. 

He turned only once he was done to watch as Inuyasha, naked except for his hakama, struggled to properly hang his armor back on the bust it had been taken from. His expression didn’t change as he watched him, though with the amount of conflicting emotions running through him it was probably just as well. The sight of Inuyasha elicited many memories and thoughts in his own mind, not all of them kind or nice. They swirled, making it hard to pin down a single one as all of them tried to force their way forward.

“Sesshomaru?” Inuyasha’s voice asked softly, though it was not enough to cut through his musing as his eyes moved up to catch Inuyasha’s own. He was watching him just as intensely as Sesshomaru was watching  _ him _ : though his face had no issue conveying the unease his brother seemed to be experiencing under his gaze.

He silently took a step forward, his naked body gliding towards Inuyasha and he could see the other swallow, nervousness and something else and Sesshomaru knew he should speak, should perhaps explain the contemplations that had been taking up his thoughts all day, the dichotomy of his hatred and his pride for the hanyou. The inability to pinpoint the moment where revulsion had stopped coloring his interactions with the other. The dichotomy of  _ ‘I would much rather be alone’ _ and  _ ‘I would much rather be here, with you’  _ and the depths of truth in both statements that he could not understand. As if the two thoughts were so heavily tangled with one another that ‘alone’ and ‘with you’ were inseparable in their meaning. That ‘if I cannot be alone, then I would rather be with you’ was just as true as ‘if I cannot be with you, I would rather be alone’. That ‘alone’ and ‘with you’ were the, somehow, impossibly, same state of existence. 

But above all that, above all of his warring emotions and conflicting thoughts - that should not go together but somehow  _ did _ \- there was the image of Inuyasha, smiling with their child, and the overwhelming  _ gratitude  _ that they had not been left behind. 

“Sesshomaru?” He heard Inuyasha ask again and he was right in front of him now and Inuyasha was still looking up at him with confusion and that something else, something deeper, something that might be hope. Hope: like Inuyasha wanted this to go well, like he wanted to be there, like he  _ hoped _ Sesshomaru wanted him to be there too and Sesshomaru felt that gratitude within him surge, taking over everything else as he felt the overwhelming need to express it.

He pulled the hanyou to him, the other letting out a gasp of surprise which was swallowed up as their mouths met. The kiss was hard and hot, his sharp teeth nicking Inuyasha’s bottom lip as he pulled the other to him, pressing their bodies together and pushing into this act the thankfulness that he could not express in any other way. Inuyasha’s surprise seemed to wear off and soon enough Sesshomaru could feel the other surging up to meet him, seeming to pour his own emotions into it, that  _ want _ from earlier but also that overwhelming and unexpected  _ hope.  _

Sesshomaru felt Inuyasha’s hands moving to his neck and hair as Inuyasha pulled him closer, harder, and Sesshomaru knew he could give this to him, wanted to give this to him as their hope and gratitude mingled between them and they stumbled together once more.

—————-

###  EPILOGUE 

The announcement came a little over a month after Gengetsu first birthday. This time Sesshomaru actually stopped to tell him rather than simply nodding across the fields. He wasn’t exactly sure what he had expected by way of announcement, but he was thankful for the privacy Sesshomaru ensured them when he called Inuyasha into the forest for a walk and revealed that he was expecting again. Inuyasha knew that a number of expressions crossed his face, worry, excitement, and...joy. He honestly never would have expected that one, not even a year ago but now he let himself bask in it. With Gengetsu he had simply felt relief that his obligation had been fulfilled, but now? After everything that had happened this last year and having been able to be a parent he felt genuine happiness at having another.

He wondered if this was the difference his father had felt when Sesshomaru had been born versus his own birth. He hoped he would do better by his kids then his father though. That he wouldn’t make them fight for his affection. That he would be able to treat them equally, no matter their reasons for existing in this world _ .  _

Still, knowing what he was feeling for the new kid didn’t really prepare him for how to respond to  _ Sesshomaru.  _ Things had definitely changed between them and their last night together was still fresh in Inuyasha’s mind, the way Sesshomaru had dragged him close, asked him without words to take him. The emotions that had been pouring off of him. It had left him floundering even now. There was  _ something  _ between them after that, he knew there was. He almost wanted to ask Sesshomaru what. Was it the start of love? Was it lust? What  _ was _ it?

Instead all he said was “alright, what preparations do you need me to make?” Because he intended to be helpful this time, as much as Sesshomaru would let him.

————

The illusion of having something to tell his friends was broken by Rin running up to him as soon as he got back to the village and congratulating him very enthusiastically about his new puppy. Inuyasha blushed head to foot at it but couldn’t be mad at how excited the kid was, even if now  _ everyone  _ knew his business. Damn.

—————

It turned out it wasn’t just one pup.

It was  _ three _

“We are never using that potion again.” Inuyasha said as he sat upon one of Sesshomaru’s paws, nuzzled slightly against his neck, as his hand petted through his pelt.

Sesshomaru snorted in agreement, his hot breath washing over him as he watched the three pups feeding. They looked similar to each other and had markings similar to Sesshomaru just as before. This time though one of the pups had long floppy ears, reminiscent of Sesshomaru’s own, and Inuyasha could see that one had a greater curl to their hair then the other two. 

He found himself unexpectedly wanting more, after almost a year of being a parent to Gengetsu and now seeing these tiny little things. These pups that whimpered and pushed at each other, fighting over their place to feed. The little things that couldn’t see yet and that Sesshomaru had to guide with his muzzle. He had missed this with his first born and he felt heavy regret as he remembered that fact, but it only solidified the thought that he wanted more, wanted this again. He realized he might always want this again.

He wondered if Sesshomaru had the same thoughts, if he too was looking at their pups and thinking he wanted more. It seemed then that there were still a lot of questions that needed answering between them: where their relationship stood, if Sesshomaru wanted him like he found himself wanting Sesshomaru more and more, if he wanted more of this, more of them, more pups and this strange, unexpected and confusing thing they were building. And, well, he supposed, after everything they had been through, the only real thing he could do was ask. 

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all everyone! This story actually ended up on a more romantic note then I had initially planned but, well, the characters kind of had minds of there own for how this story would go. 
> 
> Some additional notes: Some of you might have already noticed but I've started up a new InuSess story called 'Two Worlds'. It's a Tarzan-Inspired story and I'm having a lot of fun with it so If you enjoy my stuff feel free to give it a look!
> 
> We are also, apparently, getting a Inuyasha sequel which I'm...hmmm not sure how happy I am about that but. Well, I guess we will see won't we. 
> 
> If you want to chat about anything feel free to hit me up at Tumblr or Twitter under the same name I've got here and thank you all for sticking with me through the end of this story!


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